Tuesday, June 30, 2009

“We’re not young any more”


Cherry-Bomb. (That’s Art.) (Photo by Linda Hughes.) (I may be down in the pit, but appear to be kneeling at the driver’s door — Libinati is probably in the car.)

My friend Art Dana (“DAY-nuh”) has a classic customized 1949 Ford hot-rod; souped-up Flat-head Ford motor, floor-shift, pearlescent red flames on white paint.
Dana is the retired bus-driver with fairly severe Parkinson’s disease. We have similar tastes.
His car looks great, but has flopsy steering; so much play he dare not drive it on the expressway.
He’s tried to farm out rebuilding the steering-box, but crashed mightily in flames each attempt. No returned calls; nothing.
So he called me — suggested we remove the steering-box ourselves, so he could rebuild it himself. I was thinking the same thing.
My advantage is that our garage has a pit.
Drive the little dear over the pit, and remove the steering-box from underneath.
I suggested we call in another buddy; one Joe Libinati (“lih-bih-NOT-eee”), another retired ex bus-driver, who helped Art replace an electric fuel-pump to get the old car running.
First order of business: transport ancient car 22 miles from Art’s place to out here.
We decided a route that avoided traffic and expressways.
Set out for our house, me in our CR-V leading, Art in the 1949 Ford, and Libinati in Art’s Camry.
Fear and trembling.......
A 22-mile jaunt over hill-and-dale can cripple an old car, but the Cherry-Bomb soldiered behind me, a gleaming white antique apparition from an earlier era in my rearview mirror.
Our route was a tiny bit more challenging than I expected, but Art wasn’t wandering all over the road.
Arrival finally at my place.
“I’m sure glad you knew where you were going,” Libinati said. “I never saw so many fences in my entire life. I felt like we were in a foreign country.”
Arrow old car carefully over pit.
I have 4x6 decking on top, so it wouldn’t fall in.
Remove some of the decking boards; install step-ladder; no steps into pit.
Next order of business: remove steering-wheel from steering column.
Not a problem. Undo horn-ring and retainer nut.
We had fashioned a puller at Art’s place in conjunction with a slide-hammer; but it wasn’t needed. Libinati just popped the steering-wheel off its splined taper by jimmying it.
Next order of business: undo U-bolt clamping steering column under dashboard.
Nearly impossible. I had to climb under the dash on the floor wedged in front of the seat.
Libinati could have never done this; he had enough trouble wedging behind the steering-wheel — about 250 pounds.
Unable to see the nuts — mass of wires and assorted paraphernalia. —But finally determined it was 7/16ths through trail-and-error.
Bolt undone; column loose.


Blatt! (Photo by Linda Hughes.)

Next item of business: “we should probably remove that Pitman-arm” (from the steering-box).
1&1/2 feels too sloppy, 1&1/4 won’t fit, “Let’s go to the hardware in Honeoye Falls and get a 1&3/8ths.”
1&3/8ths also wouldn’t fit, so the 1&1/2 popped the retainer nut.
No cotter-pin, but it felt like the Pitman-arm was on a splined taper.
I had a puller, so BAM! Off came the Pitman-arm.
Steering-box seemed to be bolted to frame with three long through-bolts.
Just about everything needed my “persuader;” a four-foot long piece of 1&1/4-inch steel pipe I have.
I slip one end over my wrench, giving me about four feet of leverage.
Meanwhile poor Art and Libinati couldn’t do much except watch. Art is very weak, and Libinati partially disabled.
Finally, steering-box loosened from frame, although one through-bolt broke.
Wiggle-wiggle-wiggle. Grease and filth.
Steering-box loose, but can’t be dislodged because of an internal shaft between the column and the box, that disallows angling.
I musta washed my hands at least four times — plus had to take a shower afterwards, and wash all my clothes.
I was covered with greasy grime.
We finally had to give up. Libinati took Art back home.
About six hours total; and steering-box dangles between an exhaust header and the frame.
The car is not drivable — no steering.
Libinati could no longer help — he had to abscond yesterday from grand parental babysitting.
So the drill was for Art and I to continue today (Tuesday, June 30, 2009).
But I had to call Art this morning. “Arturo,” I said. “We’re not young any more. I was hoping a night’s sleep would get me back to par, but I’m still bushed.”
Tomorry perhaps, but it looks like the entire project will get farmed out; and the Cherry-Bomb pulled outta my garage.

• “Linda” is my wife of 41+ years.
• For 16&1/2 years (1977-1993) I drove transit bus for Regional Transit Service, the transit-bus operator in Rochester, NY. My stroke October 26, 1993 ended that.
• RE: “Out here.......” —We live in the small rural town of West Bloomfield in Western N.Y.
• The “CR-V” is our 2003 Honda CR-V SUV.
• Dana has a new Toyota Camry.
• The “Pitman-arm” is the main linkage from the steering-box to the steering tie-rods; maybe five-to-six inches long — a forged steel arm.
• Often a retainer nut is held from loosening by a “cotter-pin” through the bolt and across slots in the nut.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Progress



Yaz all have received the Pickles cartoon.
Easy as pie e-mail, but a pain-in-the-butt Facebook.
Facebook is eight different posts to different Facebooks.
Anmari Linardi, Marcy, etc. are each their own Facebook page.
E-mail would be gobs easier, but they’re more likely to look at their Facebook pages than e-mail.
So, eight seperate posts to each Facebook — what would be one post to FlagOut, or one e-mail post to multiple addressees.
Taking eight times as long is progress — and if they respond, about five minutes each of dorking around to -a) bring up their Facebook; and -b) scroll through their Facebook to find their comment.

• “Yaz” is all my siblings, plus the Ne’er-do-Wells. (The “Ne’er-do-Wells,” including AnMari Linardi [Anne-Marie lynn-ARR-dee] and Marcy, are an e-mail list of everyone I e-mail my stuff to. —“Marcy” is my number-one Ne’er-do-Well — she was the first I was e-mailing stuff to. Marcy and I worked in adjacent cubicles at the Canandaigua Daily-Messenger newspaper, from where I retired. She now lives near Boston, married to another ex-Messenger employee. AnMari was once a photographer.)
• “FlagOut” is our family’s web-site, named that because I had a mentally-retarded kid-brother (Down Syndrome) who lived at home, and loudly insisted the flag be flown every day. “Flag-Out! Sun comes up, the flag goes up! Sun goes down, the flag comes down.” I fly the flag partly in his honor. (He died at 15 in 1969.) —I no longer participate in my family’s web-site; tired of all the put-downs.

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Saturday, June 27, 2009

“See the U.S.A., in your Chevrolet”

I’ve been having an e-mail exchange with good old Allison Cooper.
Allison Cooper is one of my vaunted Ne’er-do-Wells, and the exchange comes out of her reading my “Old Greenie” blog, wherein I say our Faithful Hunda was the best car we ever had.
Allison has a Honda herself, a Civic, and apparently thinks the world of it.
Allison became a reporter during my employ at the mighty Mezz, and is now a Managing Editor.
I suppose this means to a large extent she determines what’s in the newspaper.
Although I know how it is. Titles get bandied about to go with salary increases and/or promotions, although what usually happens is you take on more grunge work — the actual production of the newspaper.
I never actually paginated the newspaper, just processed reams of copy that ended up getting published.
I guess my title was “Typist,” although I rarely did typing.
I was more an Editorial Assistant.
What I did was computer tricks to generate reams of copy.
Columns and calendars and honor-rolls and weather information and stock information.
Stuff got parceled according to what you could do, and everyone shared the load.
To me it was a happy ship.
My writing was earlier, and didn’t involve pulling teeth from local politicos.
But that went away as I did ever more computer tricks, including the newspaper’s web-site.
A reporter would try to bend a story out of some tub-thumping politico with an agenda. (Seems Conservatives were worst at this.)
That was Allison, and she was good at it.
Allison belonged to a writers’ group at the newspaper, a defacto organization of would-be writers.
I wasn’t part of this, and wasn’t hurt by it.
One morning Allison came over to jaw with Marcy about their next meeting, and the banter began.
“I don’t know what you guys are talking about,” I said; “but when it comes to writing, I just pick up my shovel and start shoveling.”
“Sure; easy as pie for you, Grady,” Marcy said.
Yeah, I guess so; I’ve come to conclude.
My 12th-grade English teacher was the first to point it out.
“All it is is slingin’ words together,” I said to him.
“But you can do that better than most. You’re a natural,” he answered.
My first actual writing was in college, a biweekly humor column in the college newspaper during my senior year.
I fell into it. It was secondary; there was a higher-billed humor column.
But I was told what I was doing was better.
Years after graduating I was trying to freelance sportscar racing photography, and a small weekly newspaper in Rochester wanted to start sportscar racing coverage. An owner had a Porsche (“poor-sha”).
They wanted to know if I knew anyone that could do it, and I suggested myself.
And so developed three summers of biweekly sportscar coverage; although it wasn’t always racing. Often it was a feature, like rallying, autocross, or a car-show.
But it was a hairball. Too much navel-picking; i.e. fiddling for correct grammar and usage.
Doing so could kill good writing.
Later I went to driving bus — a real job, although stupid and meaningless — and after about 15 years I fell into doing a voluntary union newsletter.
I didn’t have time for navel-picking; I had to rely on my ability to write, which was fine — way better than my employers, who I drove crazy.
But then the stroke ended that; ending my career driving bus.
I recovered well enough to do an unpaid internship at the mighty Mezz, and that turned into a job; grunt-work at first.
They were about to lay me off when the newspaper computerized; but I got enough of a handle on computer tricks for the Executive Editor to continue my employ. —The guy fixing to lay me off was fired; although not because of me.
I was part-time at first, and my income was limited by Social Security Disability (SSDI). But the Executive Editor wanted me to do more work, so offered to make up my SSDI, if I could go full-time. This was in effect doubling my wage-rate.
Seemed doable, so I did it. I always appreciated that that Executive Editor had so much moxie.
I fell into doing the newspaper’s web-site, and developed computer-tricks to make doing it a little easier.

Herewith, my exchange with Allison:
-Allison: “I love my Honda too!!!
5 years old, 50,000 miles (that’s with transporting the teenagers everywhere all the time). 4 new tires, oil changes, that’s it.”
-Me: “STORY TIME
RE: ‘The Faithful Hunda.........’
-Original rim-protectors replaced almost immediately; Goodyear GT+4s at first, the tires the N.Y. state troopers used. Second set of GT+4s when first set wore out. Wife pulled out in front of a motorbike, and the motorbike hit the left-rear door. Knocked the car out of alignment (I guess). Drove it to West Virginia, and wore the front tires to the cord. Had Ontario Honda align it, and purchased tire-set #3; the tire Goodyear replaced the GT+4s with. —I always buy quality tires; in this case they made it a much better car.
-Bought the car at Ide Honda. Had them align it and they screwed it up royally. Aligned it myself — I still have the tools. Started doing Ontario Honda instead of Ide. When they aligned it, they didn’t screw it up.
-Three batteries; first tanked at about 60,000 miles. Battery #2 at 130,000 miles. Replaced all the batteries myself — all Honda parts. —CR-V still on original battery; six years old.
-Replaced distributor-cap and ignition wiring when it got rotten (maybe 90,000). —Supposedly that is no longer a problem. Everything is now guaranteed for 100,000 miles.
-Did all oil/filter changes myself. Honda now has free oil-changes every three months. Since the oil-filter on the CR-V is a guaranteed skinned hand, Ontario Honda gets the job.
But the main thing is ‘The Faithful Hunda’ was a CAR; the CR-V a truck.
Neither have ever been stuck. The CR-V is electronic All-Wheel-Drive, but the Faithful Hunda was VISCOUS COUPLING (“viss-cuss”). When I was shopping around, that Honda dealer on West Henrietta Road called it “vicious.” (I walked out; laughter alert.)
-Allison: “Love it. I won’t ever buy anything else.”
-Me: “Holtz Honda. (I remember a Pontiac.)”
-Allison: “When I took my Pontiac to Ontario Honda to trade it in on my Civic, the interior lights were blinking and the door-is-ajar bell was constantly ringing, and it overheated at stop lights longer than five seconds.
And I had to climb over the gearshift to exit from the passenger door.”
-Me: “Two things......
—A) You may have got that Civic before I retired; which was late December of 2005. I just don’t remember it.
—B) RE: The travails of owning a General Motors product:
-1993 Chevrolet Astrovan, bought to placate Dinah Shore: “See the U.S.A., in your Chevrolet. America is waiting for your call. MMMMMM-WAH!”
(Our family had all Chevys.)
140,000 miles, by which time it was utterly tanked.
Drove it to the mighty Mezz many times; almost t-boned a full-size Chevy van in Bloomfield, driven by an utterly stupefied Granny.
It rode like a pig; the shock-absorbers were original.
Most frustrating of all were two things:
-1) The air-conditioning always leaked off its charge, so that it no longer cooled. —In summer it was an oven.
-2) The glove-compartment door had to be jimmied with a crowbar. The lock no longer worked. Being so bent, it no longer held the door shut, and there was a switch activated by the open door that turned on an inside light. I had the door taped shut with duct-tape (a use advocated by the American Duct-Tape Council), but the stickum on the duct-tape had become so filthy, the door would flop open.
Here I am driving down 5&20 and that stupid door would flop open.
There are other travails:
-a) A front torsion-bar broke. The torsion-bars were what served at springs. I drove that sucker all the way to Honeoye Falls on the rubber bump-stop, where Molye replaced both torsion-bars.
-b) The “Check-engine” light kept coming on. Coming back from D.C. at 94,000 miles it kept glaring at me. Its coming on seemed to be a function of how hard I drove it. —Hoselton (where I bought it — have ya ever been inside the Chevy portion of Hoselton? The floor looks like it survived a magnitude-six earthquake) was unable to diagnose the problem.
It was Molye that scienced out the problem; a faulty oxygen-sensor in the exhaust. That was after it hardly ran at all; so poorly I sideswiped a mailbox and scratched the paint.
-c) The oil-pump was outside the engine, attached to the block. The gasket that seals it broke and it began leaking oil profusely.
Molye diagnosed it correctly; their parts-guy was one of the best I’ve ever met.
He had seen the problem before, apparently, and they replaced the gasket. —No more leak after that.
-d) Like all cars now it had a lockout that wouldn’t allow ya to put it in gear lesson ya had your foot on the brake. It was an el-cheapo solenoid activated by the same circuit that shut off your krooze if ya hit the brake.
The stupid solenoid hung up twice, and wouldn’t let me put it in gear. Ya could unhang it if ya pulled it with your toe just so.
The second time was at the Auto-Train depot in Lorton, VA where ya were turning over your car for some stranger to load.
I was afraid I’d hafta toe that stupid switch for the stranger to load the van.
I liked it, but the Toyota Sienna we now have is much better. (Which begs the question, why are the Japs so much better at making cars than General Motors?)”

A little explanation here:

This Dinah Shore song was my siren-song during the ‘50s.
It posits the pleasant dream-world available to Chevrolet-owners.
No matter that the cars pictured (a ‘53 Chevy) were turkeys.
I learned how to drive in a ‘53 Chevy, and the reason I bought the Chevrolet Astrovan was partly to fulfill the dream of Dinah Shore.
About 1950 or so my father bought a used ‘41 Chevy from some guy in our church. It looked to be in excellent shape, and the ‘41 Chevy is one of the most popular used cars of all time.
Shortly after we bought it we went to gigantic Rohrer (“ROAR-errr”) Chevrolet on Admiral Wilson Boulevard outside Camden, NJ, and went out back into the shop-area. I was about six years old.
I immediately noticed a large Texaco star on a wall in the shop.
It was one of them shining moments. My father had recently begun employ with Texaco, and we had just bought a Chevrolet.
All was right with the world.
Who woulda ever thought back then General Motors would eventually declare bankruptcy?
And pay no head to Dinah and her “nothing will beat her.....”
A Ford would put Chevrolet on-the-trailer. —The ‘53 Chevy (pictured in the ad) was indeed a turkey.
It took the Chevrolet Small-Block V8, in the 1955 model-year, to make that line truthful.
And Rohrer Chevrolet is gone.

• The “Ne’er-do-Wells” are an e-mail list of everyone I e-mail my stuff to.
• “The Faithful Hunda” is our 1989 Honda Civic All-Wheel-Drive station-wagon, by far the BEST car we’ve ever owned, now departed (replaced by our CR-V). (Called a “Hunda” because that was how a fellow bus-driver at Transit [Regional-Transit-Service in Rochester, where I once worked] pronounced it.) —The “CR-V” is our 2003 Honda CR-V SUV.
• The “mighty Mezz” is the Canandaigua Daily-Messenger newspaper, from where I retired over three years ago. Best job I ever had.
• RE: “Paginated.......” —Our newspaper pages were “paginated” in a computer using Quark software. —The page-editor would select stories to run, usually from Associated Press or locally written, or columns, etc. I had processed.
• “Marcy” is my number-one Ne’er-do-Well — she was the first I was e-mailing stuff to. Marcy and I worked in adjacent cubicles at the Canandaigua Daily-Messenger newspaper, from where I retired.
• “Grady” was my nickname at the Messenger newspaper. See blurb.
• “Rallying” is low-level sportscar competition over public roads, trying to hit time-points exactly. —“Autocross” is one car at a time through a twisting course, usually in a parking-lot. The fastest car wins.
• I had a stroke October 26, 1993; ending my 16&1/2 year career of driving transit bus. (From 1977 to 1993 I drove transit bus for Regional Transit Service, the transit-bus operator in Rochester, NY.)
• “5&20” is the main east-west road (a two-lane highway) through our area; State Route 5 and U.S. Route 20, both on the same road. 5&20 is just south of where we live.
• “Honeoye (‘HONE-eee-oy’) Falls” is the nearest town to where we live in western New York, a rural town about five miles away. “Molye” (“mahl-YAY”) and “Hoselton” (“hahz-ul-TIN”) Chevrolet (now Hoselton auto-mall; they also sell Toyota and Nissan); and “Ide” (“eyed”) Honda. “Ontario Honda” is the Honda dealer in nearby Canandaigua.
• The most popular used cars of all time are: -a) the 1941 Chevy; -b) the 1957 Chevy; and -c) the 1964 Chevy.
• “Camden” is across the river from Philadelphia, essentially an extension of Philadelphia into south Jersey.
• “On-the-trailer” is an old drag-racing term. (Drag-racing is standing-start to finish over a paved, flat two-lane quarter-mile drag-strip. —The first car to finish wins.) —The losing car gets put back “on-the-trailer” that brought it in.

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Wednesday, June 24, 2009

“Old Greenie”


“Old Greenie.” (Photo by the so-called “old guy” with the dreaded and utterly reprehensible Nikon D100 camera.)

Our Honda CR-V (pictured below) is due for its 45,000 mile service.
Photo by the so-called “old guy” with the dreaded and utterly reprehensible
Nikon D100 camera.
I’ve installed alloy wheels since — and better tires.
Actually, it’s at 52,000 miles.
52,000 miles over six years isn’t much. That’s almost 8,700 per year.
We’re both retired, so it isn’t being used to commute to work.
Before the CR-V was the Faithful Hunda.
That got totaled at 161,000 miles over 13 years.
That’s over 12,000 miles per year.
When Linda was working in faraway Webster, was a 30-mile commute each way — 60 miles per day — about 15,000 miles per year.
We weren’t sure we wanted to buy the CR-V; still aren’t sure about it.
Compared to the Faithful Hunda it’s a truck. Rides high, and is unbalanced.
Drives like a car, but rides like a truck.
I hit the brakes hard once, and it locked up the rear-end. The Bathtub doesn’t do that; nor did the Faithful Hunda.
Photo by the so-called “old guy” with the Pentax Spotmatic camera.
A sorry end to the BEST car we’ve ever owned.
We almost fixed the Faithful Hunda; we liked it that much.
It wasn’t that damaged (see picture), but at 13 years the insurance company totaled it.
Plus the shop thought the chassis might be bent.
We were planning to replace it soon anyway, so we started looking around.
I wanted All-Wheel-Drive (the Faithful Hunda had that), so I could avoid shoveling out the driveway of snow.
An alternative was the Subaru (“SUE-buh-RUE”); but they were cramped and un dog-friendly.
The Faithful Hunda was FABULOUS. It was capacious with a low flat floor.
The rear seats folded to make the floor, and also filled the dog-swallowing gap behind the front seats.
It also got 29 miles-per-gallon — I kept track.
It was so small and light, it did quite well despite being an All-Wheel-Drive stationwagon.
I remember the Honda salesman bragging about the mileage of the CR-V: “26 highway,” he said.
“Old car got 29,” I snapped.
Working in the CR-V’s favor was that it was a Honda.
The Faithful Hunda had never been in the shop.
Honda Civics, which our Faithful Hunda was, were still being made, and were still pretty small; but not All-Wheel-Drive or stationwagons.
Subaru was a car, but we had to go to largest made, the “Forester” — I called it the Breadvan.
-A) It didn’t have a flat floor; -B) the floor was high; and -C) a dog-swallowing gap was behind the front seats.
And at 2.5 liters the engine was HUGE.
The Faithful Hunda was only 1.6 liters, which partially explains the 29 mpg.
The CR-V is 2.4 liters, and gets 24 mpg. I figured 25 or so for the Sube.
Plus a gigantic breadvan to get the roominess of our Faithful Hunda seemed kind of silly.
Tilt CR-V. Not a choice we were happy with, but it was an All-Wheel-Drive Honda.

So now every time I have to leave the CR-V at the dealer for longer than I can wait, I get a loaner and leave the CR-V all night.
Ontario Honda, where we bought it, has at least two loaners; one of which is “Old Greenie” (pictured) a 2000 Special-Edition Honda Accord.
I’ve driven “Old Greenie” many times; every time I’ve got a loaner except the last time — when I was loaned the other loaner.
“Old Greenie” has over 125,000 miles, and the tires are beyond-the-pale.
“Old Greenie” gave me trouble only once. It has electric windows, and the driver’s window stalled at a mail-drop during a blizzard.
I thought I was gonna have to drive it all the way back to Ontario Honda with the window open, but for some reason it shut.
“Old Greenie” is probably just an Accord they purloined from stock to be a loaner. —Who knows how many drivers it’s had.
To my mind, that model Accord is the best looking ever.
There has been at least one model upgrade since; perhaps (and probably) two.
So more up-to-date Accords are now available, but to my mind, that model Accord was the best looking ever.
125,000 miles, and still in excellent shape.
—Is it any wonder I prefer Hondas.

• RE: “‘Old guy’ with the dreaded and utterly reprehensible Nikon D100.......” —My macho, blowhard brother-from-Boston, who is 13 years younger than me, calls me “the old guy” as a put-down (I also am the oldest). I also am loudly excoriated by all my siblings for preferring a professional camera (like the Nikon D100) instead of a point-and-shoot. This is because I long ago sold photos to nationally published magazines. —The “Spotmatic” is my old Pentax Spotmatic 35mm film camera I used about 40 years, since replaced by a Nikon D100 digital camera.
• The “CR-V” is our 2003 Honda CR-V SUV. —“The Faithful Hunda” is our 1989 Honda Civic All-Wheel-Drive stationwagon, by far the BEST car we’ve ever owned, now departed (replaced by our 2003 Honda CR-V). (Called a “Hunda” because that was how a fellow bus-driver at Transit [Regional-Transit-Service in Rochester, where I once worked] pronounced it.)
• “Linda” is my wife of 41+ years.
• “Webster” is a rural suburb of Rochester — originally a farming-town. Linda’s employer had a large printing-plant there.
• The “Bathtub” is our 2005 Toyota Sienna van; called that because it’s white and like sitting in a bathtub.
• Our current dog is “Scarlett;” a rescue Irish-Setter. She’s almost four, and is our sixth Irish-Setter. At least four dogs (all Irish-Setters, but two at a time) have passed since the Faithful Hunda — the most dog-friendly car we’ve ever had.
• “Sube” is the nickname for Subaru.

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Tuesday, June 23, 2009

AppleWorks-5 doomed

It’s beginning to look like I’ll be able to ditch AppleWorks-5.
I should explain.
AppleWorks-5 is an old computer application; a combination word-processor, spreadsheet, and paint program; Apple’s upgrade of ClarisWorks, which they bought.
It’s much more user-friendly than Microsoft Word® to a stroke-survivor. No magic keys to trip you into the ozone.
But AppleWorks-5 doesn’t run under OS-X.
Actually it does, sort of; as long as the OS-X has the “Classic Mode,” an OS 9.2 buried within.
OS-X had “Classic Mode” at first, but no longer does.
I’m running “Tiger,” (10.4); the last OS-X with Classic Mode.
My double-processor tower, with Motorola chips, is at least seven years old — probably older.
Plus I can’t take it with me like I could a laptop.
I’d like to upgrade, but doing so will require a newer OS-X without the Classic Mode.
The newer Intel-based OS-X’s can be partitioned to run two or more operating systems; e.g. the OS-X interface, and Windoze.
So people suggested I partition a Tiger, with its Classic Mode.
I ran this all by “Andrew,” my contact at the dreaded Mac-Shack; and he said the newer Intel-based Macs can’t run Classic Mode.
A while ago I purchased AppleWorks-6, an OS-X app, and installed it. But it lacks the macro function.
Back to AppleWorks-5. All my HTML-tags are macros.
Ditch the macro function, and I need to generate and insert HTML-tags.
Other macros are “weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth,” “so-called elitist country-club,” and “the awful temerity and unmitigated gall and horrific audacity.”
But they all could be made into files for copy/paste.
I do that already.
Another HTML-tag is my picture-tag; I actually have quite a few. But they’re all already files for copy/paste.
That leaves only eight tiny tags: my paragraph return (“<br>;” one line); begin- and end-bold (“<b>” and “</b>”); begin- and end-italic (“<i>” and “</i>”); begin- and end-underline (“<u>” and “</u>”); and my bullet tag (“<li>”).
They’re very small tags, only three or four characters; the tiniest of macros.
What to do?
Andrew suggested PageSpinner, an HTML-generating ‘pyooter software.
I’m not so sure.
I have PageSpinner, although an older version, and it generates a complete HTML document; begin- and end-HTML (“<html>,” and “</html>”), etc.
All I need is something to write out the silly little tags I use.
Linda had a word-processor that generated the tags as text, which is what I need. Click a button, and the tag-text gets written in.
I’ve used it; but it’s a PC application — not available for Mac.
It just so happens all the tags do is embolden and/or italicize text for FlagOut posts. Heaven forbid I underline anything — the Delawareans think link.
Click “HTML-Advanced,” and FlagOut reads the HTML.
But you have to use the <br>-tag for FlagOut to do a paragraph-return in an “HTML-Advance” clicked post. Regular paragraph returns aren’t read.
My blog does pretty much what FlagOut did; post such a document with the written-out HTML-tags, and the tags get read.
The only problem is if my blog got browsed with Internet-Explorer. IE shoves tiny bits of text up next to the right side of a column-width picture, and most ‘pyooter-users are browsing with IE.
To avoid this I made a blog picture tag [“<img src="??????????????????"> caption. (Photo by ??????????????)”], so Granny doesn’t go ballistic when she gets lost.
My FireFox Internet browser doesn’t do that, but I’m noisily told FireFox is stupid and of-the-Devil.
So what I was doing was posting pretty much what I had posted to FlagOut on my blog; except that I had replaced my FlagOut picture-tags with my blog-tags, if any.
Boom-zoom! Simple transfer — not too time-consuming.
E-mail was just another step: delete all picture tags, if any, and find/replace the HTML-tags with the actual characters; i.e. nonHTML it.
My e-mail program doesn’t have an HTML switch; my old MyWay e-mail did. E-mail has to be nonHTML. Any pictures get added as attachments.
Also not too time-consuming. Usually 10-15 minutes.
The difference between a FlagOut post and a blog and e-mail post is footnotes.
I figured my siblings didn’t need ‘em — they complained loudly if I included ‘em.
But someone in California reading the blog might need to know what the mighty Curve was, or who “Scarlett” is.
Same with the vaunted Ne’er-do-Wells. They’re not famblee, and won’t know who Timmoooo is. —Or even what FlagOut is.
But I’m no longer doing FlagOut; just the blog and e-mail.
And I noticed the blog has an HTML editor to embolden or italicize text.
I also noticed it reads actual paragraph-returns as paragraph-returns; i.e. I don’t need the <br>-tag.
So for all intents and purposes I no longer need my HTML macros.
Without FlagOut, and with the blog HTML editor, I can embolden and italicize just like I did when I was using my HTML macros. I.e. the onliest place the macros would apply is FlagOut, which I’m no longer doing.
The tags the blog generates are slightly different than my simple tags; e.g. “<span style="font-style:italic;">” equals “<i>.”
The only problem is red text. For that I was using my dreaded “<FONT COLOR=#FF0000>BALONEY ALERT!</FONT>” macro, and overwriting “BALONEY ALERT!”
But that macro is so long, and so infrequently used, it can be turned into a copy-pastable file.
The blog reads the tag, and displays red text.

• I had a stroke October 26, 1993.
• “OS-X” is the current Apple Computer operating system. It replaced OS 9.2.
• “Windoze” is the Mac user’s put-down of Microsoft Windows; supposedly because it’s slow.
• “App” is computer slang for application.
• RE: “Dreaded Mac-Shack....” —All my siblings use Windows (“Windoze”) PCs, but I use an Apple MacIntosh, so I am therefore stupid and of-the-Devil. (The older Macs had processor-chips made my Motorola; the newer ones have chips made by Intel — same as a PC [Personal-Computer; the ‘pyooter architecture that Microsoft wrote for, and currently dominates the market].)
• “HTML” is hypertext markup language. A document written in HTML will display with added tricks in an Internet-browser.
• RE: “Macros.....” —Push a certain combination of keys, and an entire recorded text-file is typed in. (I was using macros to generate my HTML-tags.)
• “Linda” is my wife of 41+ years. Before retirement she programmed computers.
• “‘Pyooter” is of course computer.
• “FlagOut” is our family’s web-site, named that because I had a mentally-retarded kid-brother (Down Syndrome) who lived at home, and loudly insisted the flag be flown every day. “Flag-Out! Sun comes up, the flag goes up! Sun goes down, the flag comes down.” I fly the flag partly in his honor. (He died at 15 in 1969.)
• RE: “The Delawareans......” —My younger brother and his wife live in northern Delaware. I was loudly excoriated for underlining things, which they thought were Internet links. (An Internet link is usually underlined. They also are usually a different text-color. My underlinings were the same color as the surrounding text; black.)
• “IE” is of course Microsoft’s “Internet-Explorer” Internet browser.
• The “mighty Curve” (“Horseshoe Curve”), west of Altoona, Pennsylvania, is by far the BEST railfan spot I have ever been to. Horseshoe Curve is a national historic site. It was a trick used by the Pennsylvania Railroad to get over the Allegheny mountains without steep grades. Horseshoe Curve was opened in 1854, and is still in use. (I am a railfan, and have been since I was a child.)
• “Scarlett” is our current dog; a rescue Irish-Setter. She’s almost four, and is our sixth Irish-Setter.
• “Timmoooo” (Tim) was my mentally-retarded kid brother.

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Sunday, June 21, 2009

Hat


Notice the lack of a plastic adjustment strap. (Photo by the so-called “old guy” with the dreaded and utterly reprehensible Nikon D100 camera with flash.)

I’m at mighty Weggers today (Sunday, June 21, 2009).
“Can I ask where ya gotcher hat?” some grizzled Harley-dude asks.
Usual stroke-effect at play here; seconds pass before I can get the words out.
“Scranton, Pennsylvania,” I answer.
“It’s the only place ya can get one without the plastic adjustment strap.”

• The cap pictured is what railroad engineers used to wear. (I’m a railfan, and have been since I was a child.) Not any more. Most railfan engineer-caps are made in China by Chinese child prison-labor in fetid sweatshops. They have plastic adjustment straps in the back. —The original hats, which were also used by farmhands, were sized. The hat pictured is also sized. So far, of all the railfan gifts-shops I’ve been in, only Steamtown in Scranton, PA. had the original sized hats. I bought at least two.
• RE: “‘Old guy’ with the dreaded and utterly reprehensible Nikon D100.......” —My macho, blowhard brother-from-Boston, who is 13 years younger than me, calls me “the old guy” as a put-down (I also am the oldest). I also am loudly excoriated by all my siblings for preferring a professional camera (like the Nikon D100) instead of a point-and-shoot. This is because I long ago sold photos to nationally published magazines.
• “Mighty Weggers” is Wegmans, a large supermarket-chain based in Rochester we often buy groceries at. They have a store in Canandaigua.
• I had a stroke October 26, 1993, and it slightly compromised my speech. (Difficulty putting words together.)

Naughty-naughty

I so much as try to edit a Facebook post, and I get this:

“Our systems indicate that you’ve been misusing certain features on the site. This e-mail serves as a warning. Misuse of Facebook’s features or violating Facebook’s terms of use may result in your account being disabled. Thanks in advance for your understanding and cooperation.
Please refer to http://www.facebook.com/help.php?page=421 for further information.”

Facebook isn’t like my family’s web-site (“FlagOut”).
The only way to edit a Facebook post is delete and post again.
Doing so gets things out-of-order. If a second post was following the one you deleted, it now appears as your first post — and your repost follows.
You have to delete your second post, and repost it to get things back into order.
I.e. editing a Facebook post can be done, but it’s nowhere near as friendly as FlagOut.
FlagOut gives you an edit-window. Facebook doesn’t.
With Facebook it’s delete and repost.
Do it enough times, and Facebook goes ballistic.
Turgid warnings of gloom-and-doom.
The warning appeared in my e-mail — long after dire Facebook warnings of digital Armageddon.
Techno-Nazies!

  • “FlagOut” is our family’s web-site, named that because I had a mentally-retarded kid-brother (Down Syndrome) who lived at home, and loudly insisted the flag be flown every day. “Flag-Out! Sun comes up, the flag goes up! Sun goes down, the flag comes down.” I fly the flag partly in his honor. (He died at 15 in 1969.)

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  • Saturday, June 20, 2009

    Speed-Dial

    Last night (Friday, June 19, 2009) I decided to perform a small amount of technical wizardry on my cellphone.
    Namely, assigning speed-dial numbers to various of my slowly growing list of contacts.
    Two steps were required: -a) making my cellphone speed-dial functional (this is called “one-touch dialing”); and -b) actually assigning speed-dial numbers.
    As always, the old stroke jones is at play, which in my case is to get easily frustrated when some hairball surfaces — hairball being some unknown or unknowable.
    Unholster manual.
    Yada-yada-yada. Overwritten instructions detail how to engage one-touch dialing. I glance at it, and see a menu-path described.
    Toss manual aside, grab cellphone, and try menu-path.
    The old waazoo; “Get outta here with that manual.”
    Once I know the menu-path, I can figure the sucker out myself.
    One-touch dialing is already engaged.
    Next, assign speed-dials.
    Another menu-path from manual; manual again tossed aside.
    “This speed-dial number unassigned; do you wish to assign it?”
    “Yes.”
    “Select number from contact list.”
    “The mighty Mezz.”
    “Do you want to assign speed-dial number 7 to the mighty Mezz?”
    “Yes.”
    Okay, try it. Hold down 7.
    “Welcome to Messenger-Post Media..... blah-blah-blah.”
    Works.
    Triumph of stroke-survivor over technology.
    Right after my stroke, I couldn’t even reset my digital watch back to standard time.
    But all that came back, or I guess I made it come back.
    I was persistant; the drill was “I used to be able to do this.”

  • I had a stroke October 26, 1993.
  • The “mighty Mezz” is the Canandaigua Daily-Messenger newspaper, from where I retired over three years ago. Best job I ever had.
  • RE: “Messenger-Post Media......” —The Canandaigua Daily-Messenger newspaper bought the local “Post” suburban weeklies when their publisher retired.
  • Thursday, June 18, 2009

    Facebook silliness

    It’s pushing 10 p.m., and since I don’t do FlagOut any more, I have more time to pursue things like Facebook.
    Facebook is one of six tabs I keep permanently open on my machine.
    FireFox (WOOPS; “Fox-Fire”) will do that; keep sites permanently open, so that I never have to log in.
    Permanently open are -a) FlagOut; -b) the Curve web-cam; -c) my MyCast weather radar; -d) my blog site, -e) Facebook; and -f) my RoadRunner e-mail.
    Being permanently open, I never have to log into any of them; although -1) I’ve been considering deactivating FlagOut; and -2) my RoadRunner e-mail has some security protection requiring a FireFox master password.
    Usually, when I highlight the Facebook tab, I get my Facebook page — no log-in required.
    But not this time.
    “Robert Hughes already has a Facebook. Please sign up to access it.” (It shows my profile tongue-shot.)
    Photo by Dave Wheeler with flash.
    “WHAT?” Oh well, nothing new. Facebook does this every once in a while.
    I click “sign up.” No, I don’t want that — I already have a Facebook; I don’t need two.
    I make the tab the Facebook log-in; a bookmark (“favorite” to you IE users).
    Crank log-in information to log-in page.
    BOINK! “Invalid password.”
    “I just took it off my prompt-sheet!” I cry.
    Okay, maybe I typed the password wrong. All it is is dots — I can’t see what I typed.
    Trying again, BOINK! “Invalid password.”
    “Okay Facebook,” I say; “I never cared that much anyway.
    All ya’ve ever done is lob steaming hairballs at me, and reward me with the latest news about somebody I don’t know picking their belly-button.”
    “Somebody has badmouthed Obama with the Facebook bombast tool.”
    BOINK! Facebook tab vaporized.

  • “FlagOut” is our family’s web-site, named that because I had a mentally-retarded kid-brother (Down Syndrome) who lived at home, and loudly insisted the flag be flown every day. “Flag-Out! Sun comes up, the flag goes up! Sun goes down, the flag comes down.” I fly the flag partly in his honor. (He died at 15 in 1969.) —I have kind of stopped participating in my family’s web-site. Too much weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth.
  • RE: “Fox-Fire......” —All my siblings use the Microsoft Internet-Explorer (“IE”) Internet browser, and claim FireFox is a tinker-toy. I’ve used both, and find FireFox better. The fact I use it means I’m of-the-Devil. They call it “Fox-Fire” as a put-down.
  • Horseshoe Curve, west of Altoona, Pennsylvania, is by far the BEST railfan spot I have ever been to. Horseshoe Curve is a national historic site. It was a trick used by the Pennsylvania Railroad to get over the Allegheny mountains without steep grades. Horseshoe Curve was opened in 1854, and is still in use. (I am a railfan, and have been since I was a child.) —Horseshoe Curve has a web-cam, but it’s awful.
  • MyCast is my weather radar web-site.
  • “RoadRunner” of Rochester, NY, is my Internet service provider (”ISP”). It’s Time-Warner cable. My e-mail is through them. I use Netscape 7.2 here at home to process my e-mail — it accesses my e-mail via RoadRunner on the POp-server, but RoadRunner apparently also has web-mail; and it throws spam in a folder. I have to delete it once-in-a-while.
  • RE: “Profile tongue-shot....” —My Facebook profile picture is one of me sticking out my tongue. Whenever my mother tried to take my picture (she was always taking pictures), I’d stick out my tongue.
  • “Dave Wheeler” is an editor at the Canandaigua Daily-Messenger newspaper, from where I retired over three years ago. Best job I ever had. He’s also a Houghton grad. (“Houghton” is Houghton College in western New York, from where I graduated with a BA in 1966. I’ve never regretted it, although I graduated as a Ne’er-do-Well, without their blessing. Houghton is an evangelical liberal-arts college.)
  • Wednesday, June 17, 2009

    Monthly Calendar Report for June 2009

    It was hard to know which calendar to make first this month.
    Most are pretty good, but not extraordinary. Only my Audio-Visual Designs B&W All-Pennsy Calendar falls flat, so gets my boobie-prize. I wouldn’t run it, but my railfan readers would go ballistic.


    A ‘40 Ford coupe.

    —I guess I’ll make number-one the ‘40 Ford coupe in my Oxman hot-rod calendar.
    The ‘40 Ford five-window coupe is one of the prettiest hot-rods of all time.
    It’s amazing to think Ford Motor Company, with its tiny styling section, hardly the match for General Motors’ HUGE Art & Color section headed by Harley Earl, produced some of the prettiest cars of all time; e.g. the ‘32 Ford, the ‘34 Ford, and the ‘40 Ford coupe shown here (which was also 1939).
    Earl’s Art & Color section was producing glitz-mobiles; okay, but forgettable.
    Compare the ‘40 Chevy to this Ford.
    Ford styling was essentially Bob Gregorie with his tiny styling department. Old Henry was more interested in function than appearance.
    He continued to build the Model T well after better cars had been made available.
    His Model A only came to fruition because of the success of the competition; and he refused to field a six, producing his Flat-Head V8 instead.
    To counter the sixes, he brought a small V8 to market: the V8-60.
    Ford finally had to field a six; stockholders prevailing against Old Henry.
    By then he was sort of in eclipse, but Ford stuck to buggy-spring suspension, as used on the Model T, until the 1949 model-year, when Henry Ford II (“the Deuce;” Old Henry’s grandson) brought the revolutionary Shoebox Ford to market. The shoebox wasn’t a Gregorie design (it was George Walker), but the ‘49 Mercury was.
    Despite Old Henry’s fustianism, or perhaps because of it, Ford brought some of the prettiest cars ever to market; and the ‘39/‘40 Ford coupe is one.
    The car is a lowly Standard, not the DeLuxe model also available.
    The “Standard” was usually Ford’s previous-year DeLuxe model; same car as the ‘39 Ford DeLuxe.
    To me the Standard, and ‘39 DeLuxe, look better. The only difference is the grill used; a ‘40 DeLuxe is too busy. (Plus the number of taillights — a DeLuxe had two [one per side]; a Standard only one [left side only].)
    This car is powered by a Chrysler Hemi, the early Hemi.
    It uses Hilborn (“HILL-born”) fuel-injection, which looks great, but is poorly suited to the street.
    Hilborn fuel-injection is a racing application — I bet this car is a bear to start; if it’s ever started at all. It looks like a trailer-queen.
    When our family moved to northern Delaware in late 1957, somebody nearby had a car like this, although it was only frame-rails ahead of the firewall.
    I was told it was awaiting an Oldsmobile V8 engine, ‘49 or up. —Who knows if the car was ever finished?
    In 1993 I happened to see a metallic green ‘40 Ford coupe with a Small-Block Chevy V8.
    It looked nice, but that paint was hardly stock.
    It even had air-conditioning, something Old Henry would have never done. (“Roll down the windows!” he’d bellow.)
    My blowhard brother-from-Boston, who’s also a car-guy like me, helped me look it over.
    It was being driven on the street, but the poor driver was scrunched inside, and it better not rain.
    A few years ago I attended a car-show in nearby Penn Yan, and a pretty red ‘40 Ford coupe was there.
    I was thrilled. It had a proper Flat-head V8, although it was ‘50 Mercury.
    Ya don’t see Flat-heads often.
    Usually they were wrenched out and swapped for a Chevy Small-Block.
    The Small-Block has found its way into so many hot-rods, I remember seeing one at a car-show in Canandaigua; black ‘32 Ford roadster pickup with Small-Block Chevy.
    The car’s owner had put a Ford medallion on the chromed air-cleaner cover, and a newspaper reporter I knew asked me what the motor was.
    “Chevy,” I said. “See those center siamesed exhausts? Fords don’t have that.”
    It ran in the newspaper as a Ford motor.
    Sadly (although not very much), the ‘40 Ford coupe is five-window, which means it has those tiny windows behind the doors.
    Willys (“WILL-eeez”) made a similar coupe — same lines — about that time, that’s three-window, and looks much better.
    A three-window doesn’t have those tiny windows behind the doors, so is not as busy.
    I don’t think Ford made a three-window coupe in 1940, and the Willys also had a more modern-looking grill.


    The famed “Honey-Hole” shot. It’s September of 1958. (Photo by O. Winston Link)

    —The June 2009 entry of my O. Winston Link “Steam and Steel” calendar is Link’s famous “Honey-Hole” photograph.
    Norfolk & Western Railway would station helpers eastbound at the foot of the long and steep Blue Ridge grade into Roanoke, VA.
    The helpers would couple to the rear of long eastbound coal-drags to help them up the grade.
    The crews of these helpers would get off while waiting for their train.
    The place the helpers based was known as “the Honey-Hole.”
    The engine appears to be a massive Norfolk & Western Y6 articulated (2-8-8-2), and the crew that has got off might have built a campfire in the darkness at trackside.
    What a shot! Link sets up with his 89 bazilyun flashbulbs, one imitating a campfire.
    Although whether it was actually a campfire is debatable — there appears to be a picnic-table.
    And coffee was usually warmed in the steam-locomotive cab atop the firebox backhead.


    1970 Buick® GSX™. (Photo by David Newhardt.)

    —Next of my somewhat droll June 2009 calendar entries is my Motorbooks Musclecars calendar, a 1970 Buick GSX.
    It’s run high because my all-knowing, blowhard brother-from-Boston, the macho ad-hominem king, who noisily badmouths everything I do or say, the self-declared authority on “mussel”-cars (and that’s how he noisily insists it’s spelled), claims the 1970 Buick GSX is the best of the musclecars.
    I have to agree — at least the best-looking musclecar; although April’s 1970 G-T-O Judge looks pretty good.
    But the Judge has those stupid-looking wheel-well scallop decals. The Buick looks better, although it’s pretty large.
    Plus shoehorn a giant hot-rodded 455 cubic-inch engine in it, and it will be pretty quick.
    The calendar claims 345 horsepower, but my brother loudly disagrees.
    “That thing was rated at 360, or maybe it was 360,” he bellows.
    A blizzard of numbers have been sprayed at me: 315, 345, 360, 385.
    The calendar also implies the car pictured is a “Stage One,” but my brother noisily blusters the GSX was never available as a Stage One.
    “Stage One” is a GS option, he claims, not GSX. (The GS was apparently Buick’s entry-level musclecar; GSX the pinnacle.)
    Underneath all this is the torque output, a mind-boggling 510 foot-pounds.
    No wonder the GSX was stoplight-to-stoplight champion.
    Comparable is the 454 cubic-inch SS Chevelle (pictured below).


    This is a ‘71, same as my brother’s. But his is dark-green with white stripes.

    The maximum motor in a 454 SS Chevelle was the LS6, and my brother’s is a modified LS5.
    He noisily claims it dynoed at 535 horsepower.
    I did get to drive it, and it was terrifying.
    WAY
    too much motor is a flopsy old chassis.
    It quivered and trembled with each piston-thrust as it idled.
    “People used to street-race these things,” I cried.
    “Pistons the size of paint-cans!” I added.
    Modification meant a special non-stock 700 cubic-feet-per-minute four-barrel carburetor, among other things.
    700 isn’t that large, but still fairly substantial.
    It didn’t have a choke.
    Ya lit it with the accelerator-pumps, and then let it warm up.
    The gasoline it burned was special high-octane racing gas that cost $7 per gallon — and that was three summers ago, well before $4 per gallon for regular.
    He had me back it out of a driveway, so he could pick up his Harley-Davidson.
    I almost stalled it; it was sooting the spark-plugs.
    The 454 SS Chevelle was essentially the car the GSX Buick was aimed at, but the Buick looks better.
    And I don’t know if it could beat the Chevelle in a sanctioned quarter-mile drag-race.


    Look at that motor! (Photo by Philip Makanna©)

    —The June 2009 entry of my Ghosts WWII warbirds calendar is a Grumman Wildcat.
    Aim that sucker into the sun and take a close-up of that beautiful radial engine!
    I can imagine the sound this thing is making.
    I’d run this picture first if it were a Corsair.
    But it’s only a Grumman Wildcat, an airplane that first flew in 1937 as experimental.
    The Wildcat was Grumman’s response to the Navy’s request for an aircraft-carrier based fighter-plane.
    Sadly it wasn’t the agile and faster airplane the Japanese Zero was. Although if I am correct, the Zero lacked armor so was lighter — it also was designed to be as light as possible.
    The Wildcat was the first of a series of Grumman fighter-planes, all with “‘cat” in the name.
    Each had more powerful radial engines; the Wildcat is only 1,200 horsepower (although the one pictured is 1,350 — see below). —Later ‘cats had as much as 2,100 horsepower.
    A radial engine arrays all the cylinders around the crankshaft (the propeller shaft), and the Navy engines were air cooled.
    Although the radial cylinders all work the top central cylinder, articulated to its con-rod. The top cylinder also works the crankshaft — the arrayed cylinders do not actually work the crankshaft.
    As the war progressed, engineers were bending greater and greater horsepower out of the radial engine design.
    Another factor was at play; the Navy’s abhorrence of water-cooled engines — e.g. the Allison and Merlin V12s.
    But a radial-engine airplane was less aerodynamic than a water-cooled airplane could be; e.g. the Mustang or the Spitfire.
    But a water-cooled engine was more likely to need repair, and could more readily be damaged and shot down.
    The Navy preferred air-cooled engines, but had allowed for a water-cooled entry.

    N5833.
    The airplane pictured in the calendar is N5833 (also pictured at left), operated by the Commemorative Air Force, painted to represent the British designation of the aircraft, the Martlett.
    I don’t know what engine we have here (although I see nine cylinders), but as I understand it the Martlett was powered by a different engine, a nine-cylinder Wright R-1820-56 of 1,350 horsepower.
    The Martlett was an airplane ordered by the French, but France fell before it could be delivered, so the shipment went to Great Britain.
    The Navy Wildcats were the Pratt & Whitney R-1830-36 Twin Wasp two-row radial of 14 cylinders; 1,200 horsepower.
    Supposedly 18 or so are still airworthy.
    Sadly, the Wildcat had the retractable landing-gear designed by Leroy Grumman, which was narrow and also hand-cranked. —It was poorly suited for aircraft-carrier operation.
    With narrow landing-gear, the plane could tip sideways on landing, and dig a wing into the carrier deck.
    And the landing-gear had to be hand locked; if it wasn’t locked correctly it could collapse.
    The Wildcat suffered many accidents.
    All of this was rectified in the Hellcat, the Grumman navy fighter that succeeded the Wildcat, and had wider landing-gear.


    Norfolk Southern rock train pauses at Columbus, GA, bound for Macon. (Photo by Casey Thomason.)

    —The June 2009 entry of my Norfolk Southern Employees calendar is a Norfolk Southern freight-train of rock-filled hopper cars, led by an EMD SD70m-2, and two GE units, pausing at the Columbus, GA railyard, before it continues toward Macon.
    Apparently photographer Thomason is a railroad engineer, and has operated this line.
    The line is one of many Central of Georgia routes that operated throughout Georgia.
    The railroad had planted five palm trees at the Columbus station to tell passengers they were approaching Florida.
    Columbus is right at the border with Alabama, and it’s the route of Central of Georgia’s old Man O’ War, Seminole, and City of Miami passenger trains.
    Central of Georgia is long gone, as are its passenger trains.
    But the palm trees are still there.
    Thomason used a star filter on his lens. It exaggerates light-sources.
    Lighting gets spread into a star.
    The picture was taken at dusk; probably a time-exposure.
    Without the stars it would look very pedestrian.
    Looks kinna pedestrian even with the stars.
    But Thomason managed to pull it off; a shot at dusk that could easily have gone awry.
    The exaggerated light-sources allow Norfolk Southern to brag about a torrent of lighting upgrade projects.


    The Jaguar D-series sports-racing car “civilized” for street use.

    —The June entry of my Oxman legendary sportscar calendar is a 1956 Jaguar (“JAG-you-are”) XKSS.
    Throughout the ‘50s, and even well into the ‘60s, car-race sanctioning organizations pursued a silly goal that sports and grand-touring racecars should be available to the average Joe for operating at insane speeds over public highways.
    It was inspired by Italy’s Mille Miglia (“MEAL-ya MEAL-yah”) car-race, where sports and grand-touring cars raced at insane speeds over about 1,000 miles of public highway.
    (Sportscars were usually open roadsters; grand-touring cars closed coupes with a roof.)
    The Mille Miglia was outlawed after the 1957 race due to a surfeit of spectator deaths.
    A sports or grand-touring racecar had to be “homologated” (“hum-AHL-uh-gaited”) for racing.
    That is, 500 copies of essentially the same car had to be available for purchase.
    It became a joke, and Ferrari became the best practitioner.
    A few cars might be built similar to the racecar, but rarely 500.
    Sanctioning bodies would capitulate, because fans wanted to see the racecars race.
    It makes about as much sense as calling NASCAR racers “stock-cars.” Anything similar to a NASCAR racer is NOT available at a dealer as “stock.”
    The stupidest rule was the suitcase requirement.
    Ferrari might cobble an el-cheapo sheet-aluminum bin into his racecars to meet the suitcase requirement.
    But it was nothing you’d ever put a real suitcase in.
    The Ferrari G-T-O (“Grand-Touring-Omologato”) was intended to meet the homologation regulations.
    Even the first Pontiac G-T-Os (‘64) were homologated for racing — one of the few cars to ever meet the homologation regulations, since so many were sold.
    The Pontiac G-T-O was a direct steal of the Ferrari G-T-O name.

    Photo by the so-called “old guy” with the dreaded and utterly reprehensible Nikon D100 camera.
    An XKE coupe at Watkins Glen.
    At first I thought the Jaguar XKSS was another homologation special, a street version of the fabulous Jaguar XKD racecar that won LeMans (“Luh-MAH”) in 1955, 1956 and 1957.
    But it’s not.
    It’s use of the remaining XKD racecar spares; engine, chassis, etc.
    The XKD was revolutionary for having a lightweight aluminum monocoque (“mah-noh-COKE”) chassis; that is, the chassis was a lightweight body-width tub everything was attached to. No frame rails.
    “Civilized” for street use by adding a windshield and side-windows.
    The XKSS is a precursor to the fabulous Jaguar XKE (pictured above), a car my friend Tim Belknap (“Bell-NAPP”) says is the prettiest car of-all-time.
    I’ve come to agree.
    Compare this with a ‘53 Chevy.
    I used to think Raymond Loewy’s 1953 Studebaker Starlight coupe (pictured at left) was the prettiest car of-all-time.
    But I saw one recently, and felt like I was looking at a turkey.
    It was big and blowsy, and hardly the E-Jag.
    The XKE is tiny, and extremely low to the ground.
    It’s also monocoque construction.
    And the XKSS was the precursor — only 16 were built.


    Pennsy M1 (4-8-2) steam-engine tiptoes through wreck cleanup on the Toledo line in 1949. (Photo by Bob Lorenz©.)

    —The June 2009 entry of my Audio-Visual Designs B&W All-Pennsy Calendar gets my boobie-prize; not much to look at.
    But my railfan readers would go ballistic if I didn’t fly a picture of a steam locomotive.
    Railroading is still great fun to watch; gigantic heavy conveyances of incredible weight kept on-path by tiny wheel flanges only an inch-or-two deep following a fixed guideway.
    And woe if that train derails, as this picture displays. Mayhem ensues as gigantic pieces of equipment hurtle akimbo into the weeds and dig up the landscape.
    Freight-cars stack up and often explode.

    Photo by the so-called “old guy” with the dreaded
    and utterly reprehensible Nikon D100 camera.
    Once in central California I saw a boxcar body, wheel-less, at roadside, far from the tracks. It probably had tumbled down the mountain after a derailment, and got dragged there by a bulldozer.
    It was the Southern Pacific Tehachapi (“tuh-HAH-chuh-peee”) line, a contorted 2.5% grade into the Tehachapi Mountains, up to Tehachapi Pass. The line even loops over itself; the famed Tehachapi Loop, a railfan pilgrimage stop.
    The curvature is so tight, and grade so strenuous, trains often derail.
    Fun to watch, and 89 bazilyun locomotives hammering up that grade at full throttle is a thrill, but no comparison to steam locomotion.
    Fortunately, I was born early enough so that steam locomotion was still in use in south Jersey; 1944.
    Steam locomotion in south Jersey ended about 1955 or so. The last steam engine I ever saw was in 1956; probably a Pennsy Consolidation (2-8-0), although it also looked like a Mikado (2-8-2). I also saw a rusty Pennsy K4 Pacific (4-6-2) on a horse race-track special earlier in that year; probably summer. My last steam engine was in snow, that freight-engine; probably December. I was in a Piper Tri-Pacer at about 1,000 feet.
    The railroad was Pennsylvania-Reading Seashore Lines (PRSL), a 1933 merger of Pennsylvania and Reading (“REDD-ing,” not “READ-ing”) lines into south Jersey, promulgated to offset the fact both railroads had way too much track in south Jersey.
    The south Jersey seashore trade had developed into a prolific market.
    In the late 1800s, residents of Philadelphia would go to the south Jersey seashore resorts on weekends, or for vacation.
    Delair (“del-AIR”) River Bridge.
    Crossing the massive Delaware River is required, and at first this was done with ferries, until the Pennsylvania Railroad built its Delair River Bridge (pictured) from north Philadelphia, which opened in 1896.
    The Delair Bridge was somewhat a barrier to river navigation to the north. Ships had to clear a draw, and the first bridge was later rebuilt to widen the draw to clear ore-boats headed up river to a new steel-plant.
    Delair Bridge was the first crossing of the Delaware River from Philadelphia into south Jersey.
    Pennsy had to build a line from Delair Bridge to its ferry-based seashore service.
    The first railroad to the Jersey seashore was Camden & Atlantic, from Camden to nascent Atlantic City in the 1850s. C&A soon became Pennsy.
    Competing Atlantic City Railroad was built slightly south, and that became Reading.
    Pennsy and Reading competed to be fastest to the seashore. The trip was about 50 miles, and trains were doing it in 50 minutes.
    This required 100 mph running through the south Jersey pine barrens, but over arrow-straight track with no hills.
    Pennsy was slightly more circuitous, but could exceed 100 mph through the pine barrens.
    But both Pennsy and Reading were building competing lines to serve every south Jersey seashore resort.
    There was so much duplication, neither railroad could make money.
    And so, Pennsylvania-Reading Seashore Lines was formed; and much duplicate track was torn up and abandoned.
    The old Reading line to Atlantic City was merged into the old Pennsy line at Winslow Junction, halfway across the state, and abandoned and torn up east of there.
    Reading lines to other seashore resorts were saved, and the Pennsy lines torn up; e.g. Wildwood, Ocean City, and Cape May. Sea Isle City, tiny that it was, lost its railroad service.
    The railroad seashore service became kind of moribund as New Jersey began expanding its highway network in the ‘50s.
    A massive highway crossing of the Delaware River opened in 1926 — although ferry service hung on until 1952 (I rode it).
    PRSL wasn’t a heavy-duty railroad. The largest steam locomotives I ever saw were Pennsy K4 Pacifics (4-6-2), and perhaps the Pennsy Mikado (2-8-2), which is the same boiler as the K4.
    PRSL could not have supported anything heavier, like an I1 Decapod (2-10-0).
    But it was fairly straight, and without grades; so could allow fast running.
    How many times did I see K4 Pacifics or E6 Atlantics (4-4-2) roar by at 70 mph or more?
    And steam hung around for over 10 years after I was born.
    The reason I’m a railfan is because of those roaring PRSL steamers, mostly Pennsy. (PRSL didn’t have its own steam-engines; it used Pennsy and Reading steam-engines, although the Reading engines looked awful.)
    PRSL became even more moribund after the ‘50s.
    Part of the old C&A alignment was converted to a rapid-transit line (PATCo [“PAT-ko”] — Port-Authority-Transit Corporation, a public entity run by Delaware River Port Authority).
    That rapid-transit became immensely successful, but primarily because the Delaware River was such a barrier to commuting from south Jersey to Philadelphia. —PATCo crosses the river on the 1926 highway bridge.
    Passenger service to Philadelphia ended in the ‘70s, but has since been restarted.
    Passenger service to other south Jersey resorts would abut at Lindenwold, the end of the rapid-transit line out in the south Jersey suburbs.
    Of interest to me in this calendar picture is the cigar-chomping manager striding off to the left.
    Why does every human endeavor require a bellowing manager-type, to do nothing but threaten the hourlies, who are actually doing something, with termination?

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    Tuesday, June 16, 2009

    Ringtone

    Last night (Monday, June 15, 2009), at long last, I managed to change the ringtone on my new Nokia 6205 cellphone.
    I’ve had it almost a month, and the default Verizon ringtone was irksome, unbearable.
    It sounded like that electronic rap background music in the Geico commercials, where the thin pile of wrapped money stares google-eyed.
    Menu — tools — sounds — ringtone.
    89 bazilyun possible ringtones are presented, and I found “play.”
    Every single one was abominable; Beethoven’s Ode to Joy through Dolly Parton.
    I know a cellphone is now a technological wonder, but to me it’s just a phone.
    Nice that it frees me from the landline network, but I don’t time-travel, so I don’t need to start my dinner from across the universe.
    All I want it to do is ring; not play “Ride of the Valkyries.”
    I avoided “Single Beep,” because I don’t want it ringing only once.
    But “Single Beep” was the only ringtone that wasn’t plinka-planka-plunka.
    Test time: set ringtone to Single-Beep, and try calling my phone.
    “Be-beep; be-beep; be-beep; be-beep!”
    That’s more like it. I guess “Single Beep” is only for playback. As an actual ringtone, it rings like a telephone.
    Not some electronic butchering of the Mozart horn concerto.
    It’s not the ringtone I’d like to have, which is an MP3 of Nickel Plate steam-locomotive #765, whistling for a road-crossing.
    Verizon, in its infinite wisdom, won’t let me use a foreign MP3 as my ringtone.
    Has to be a Verizon ringtone.
    There’s already all them silly ringtones preloaded on my cellphone. Plus a slew more you have to download to play.
    Two years ago, while traveling with a group of railfans to an excursion in PA, I noticed they all had the General-Electric locomotive airhorn as ringtones on their cellphone.
    “Pramp-pramp. Pramp-PRAMP!”
    Since they all had the same ringtone, they never knew who’s phone was ringing.
    But Verizon won’t let me load that.
    When Linda and I both had RAZRs®, we never knew who’s phone was ringing.

  • “Verizon™” is our cellphone service provider.
  • “Nickel Plate steam-locomotive #765” is a restored Nickel Plate railroad-locomotive that operates in excursion service. It is the best extant, and has a gorgeous-sounding locomotive whistle. (“Nickel Plate” is the New York, Chicago & St. Louis Railroad, called the “Nickel Plate” long ago by a New York Central executive because it was so competitive. The railroad eventually renamed itself the “Nickel Plate.” Norfolk & Western Railroad bought the Nickel Plate years ago, and N&W has since merged with Southern Railway, to become Norfolk Southern. Nickel Plate never actually attained New York city; it stopped at Buffalo.)
  • A “road-crossing” is where a railroad crosses a highway at the same grade. —An approaching train must signal its approach; locomotive air-horn or steam-locomotive whistle. The standard grade-crossing signal is two longs, a short, and then a long. (“Pramp-pramp. Pramp-PRAMP!”)
  • I’ve been a railfan all my life.
  • General-Electric manufactures diesel-electric railroad locomotives in Erie, PA. They have become a major marketing success.
  • “Linda” is my wife of 41+ years.
  • We both had Motorola RAZR® cellphones. —She still has hers, but mine got dunked, and had to be replaced.
  • Saturday, June 13, 2009

    “I don’t believe it”

    For some time I have been considering installing my My-Cast weather-radar (etc.) on my cellphone.
    The idea behind this is to see what the weather-radar says is coming at the mighty Curve. —With my cellphone.
    Hadn’t done it yet, because My-Cast says it wants $3.99 per month.
    Didn’t seem that desirable, but now it is. $3.99 per month is peanuts.
    Okay, fire up My-Cast on this here rig; print off instructions for installing My-Cast on a Nokia 6205 — my cellphone.
    —1) “Select ‘Get-It-Now’ from main menu.” Done it in the past — VZ Navigator; my GPS navigation system on this cellphone.
    —2) “Depending....... select ‘tools-on-the-go’ or ‘Get Going.’” —What? Not on here, dudes. Engage guile-and-cunning.
    —3) Back to “Get it Now.”
    —4) Okay, try “Extras.” WHOA! “Get new applications.” (Nothing in the instructions about “Extras.”) —“Nothing found.”
    —5) Try “Tools-on-the-Go.” “Get new applications:” about 10-11 apps; one of which is “weather.”(Nothing in the instructions about this.)
    —6) BAM! My-Cast is one of the weather-apps — downloading. (“$3.99 per month, added to your cellphone bill.”)
    —7) “Do ya wanna run it?”
    —8) Sure; let ‘er rip!
    —9) “Select zip-code or city-name......” —14585; West Bloomfield.
    —10) “Select radar, weather alerts, lightning locater, etc.”
    —11) BAM again. Radar selected. “Press ‘okay’ to animate.” —“I don’t believe it,” I say. The West Bloomfield weather-radar is running on my cellphone.

    Continuing.......
    Linda comes home from the Post-Office.
    —1) Fire up cellphone.
    —2) Over to “Get-it-Now.”
    —3) “Tools-on-the-Go.”
    —4) BAM! My-Cast for West Bloomfield.
    —5) “Now, if I had the zip-code for the mighty Curve, I could add that.”
    —6) Engage guile-and-cunning. —Try “menu.”
    —7) Looka this: “Locations...... Add new location.”
    —8) BAM again. “Zip-code or City/state.”
    —9) Altoona, PA.
    —10) There it is, everyone; weather-radar for the mighty Curve, on my cellphone.

    Okay, imagination time: fire up my cellphone at the mighty Curve. Stay up or go back down to the parking-lot? —“Tools-on-the-Go;” “My-Cast;” “radar for Altoona, PA.” Uh-ohhh; a storm-cloud is coming toward the mighty Curve; back down the steps.

    A major factor should be considered here, everyone. A stroke-survivor is doing this; on what remains of his brain (“seven cylinders”). —Installed without Linda.
    And it was done after tossing instructions that were entirely useless.

    Another factor is that it’s a cellphone app; not what I have on this here rig.
    My-Cast on my ‘pyooter allows locations selected by global coordinates; cellphone My-Cast is only zip-code or city/state location.
    But that’s close enough. Zoomed in (a menu-selection) goes tight enough to see a large area around Altoony, which includes the mighty Curve and Cassandra, two locations I did by global coordinates on my ‘pyooter My-Cast. My ‘pyooter My-Cast shows the same area. I never go as tight as my ‘pyooter will do, as the weather-radar becomes blotchy.

  • The “mighty Curve” (“Horseshoe Curve”), west of Altoona, Pennsylvania, is by far the BEST railfan spot I have ever been to. Horseshoe Curve is a national historic site. It was a trick used by the Pennsylvania Railroad to get over the Allegheny mountains without steep grades. Horseshoe Curve was opened in 1854, and is still in use. (I am a railfan, and have been since I was a child.)
  • We live in the small rural town of West Bloomfield in Western N.Y.
  • “Linda” is my wife of 41+ years. Like me she’s retired, but she works part-time at the West Bloomfield post-office.
  • I had a stroke October 26, 1993, and it slightly effected my mental capacity.
  • “App” is application, like computer software.
  • “‘Pyooter” is computer.
  • “Altoony” is Altoona. “Cassandra” is Cassandra Railfan Overlook in nearby Cassandra, PA; an old abandoned highway overpass over the railroad’s mainline.

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  • “Ya never know whatcha might see”

    This morning (Saturday, June 13, 2009), since my wife was working at the Post-Office, I decided to take our dog to the so-called elitist country-club first thing, before breakfast.
    A complete circumnavigation of the park paths in relative solitude; the early dog gets the squirrel.
    We complete the first third, down the West Pond Trail, dog lunging and pulling merrily.
    We cross the driveway and begin the East Pond Trail.
    Down the steps, which are just halved railroad ties set in the hillside, then out along the long board walkway over the swamp.
    Over another short walkway, and up a long grade.
    Suddenly I see a couple off in the woods, clearly humping.
    The girl, still fully dressed (up top, at least) is straddling the guy, supine on the forest floor, quietly humping.
    “This way, meat-head,” I quietly say, trying to be unobtrusive.
    “Marcy, it’s everywhere,” I think.
    I avert my eyes so as to not embarrass the couple.
    But my dog is gawking.
    They’re clearly visible, about 20 yards off the path.
    And it’s obvious what they’re up to.
    I continue on, and suddenly hear heady yowling off in the woods behind me.
    Climax!
    As I often say to my dog: “Ya never know whatcha might see, Big Meat-head.”

  • My wife of 41+ years is “Linda.” Like me she’s retired, but she works part-time at the West Bloomfield post-office. (We live in the small rural town of West Bloomfield in Western N.Y.)
  • Our current dog is “Scarlett;” a rescue Irish-Setter. She’s almost four, and is our sixth Irish-Setter. She’s very high-energy, and very much a hunter.
  • “The so-called elitist country-club” is nearby Boughton (“BOW-tin” as in “ow”) Park, where I run and we walk our dog. It was called that long ago by an editor at the Canandaigua Daily-Messenger newspaper, where I once worked, because it will only allow taxpayers of the three towns that own it to use it. We are residents of one of those towns.
  • RE: “Marcy, it’s everywhere!” —“Marcy” is my number-one Ne’er-do-Well — she was the first I was e-mailing stuff to. Marcy and I worked in adjacent cubicles at the Canandaigua Daily-Messenger newspaper, from where I retired. A picture of her is in this blog at Conclave of Ne’er-do-Wells. At one time she asked how I managed to dredge up so much insane material to write up, and I responded “Marcy, it’s everywhere!”
  • Every dog I’ve ever owned I’ve called “Big Meat-head.” —They like eating meat.

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  • Friday, June 12, 2009

    Digital transition

    Fear and trembling!
    Will we have to call Time-Warner to report no TV reception?
    Today (Friday, June 12, 2009) is the day of the great digital TV transition, when Granny gets cut off from her beloved TV soaps, and news, and “Wheel.”
    We are cable-TV, and supposedly won’t need a converter-box.
    But at age 65, I’ve been on this planet long enough to know that just because some hot-shot techno-maven promises something, doesn’t mean it will happen.
    Them techno-mavens gotta stay employed; i.e. fix their muck-ups.
    So, the great test. (Drum-roll, please!)
    7 a.m.; turn on TV.
    “We still have ‘tail-a-bizhion,’” I cried.
    Apparently the great digital TV transition occurred shortly after midnight this morning.
    “It’s a miracle, Bobby!”
    When we first built this house, the cable was not out front yet, but I knew it would be shortly.
    I buried a TV cable underground to the street. No hookup yet, but they came in two-or-three years.
    Since then my buried cable disintegrated, and they’ve buried another.
    That cable also delivers Internet.
    Others were trembling.
    My sister in Florida advised all the members of her condo association to get converter-boxes, despite her building getting cable-TV (converter-boxes supposedly not needed).
    My wife’s 93-year-old mother is also worried, despite her retirement-center getting cable-TV.
    My, how things have changed over the years.
    When I was born, TV didn’t exist yet. And radio was hot tubes.
    Our family got our first TV, a black & white RCA, in 1949; about three-four years after the first TV broadcast.
    The first TV I ever saw was that of my paternal grandparents, a giant cabinet with a tiny circular picture tube.
    At that time ya had to have an outside antenna. Ours was affixed to a large hollow pole on the back of our house. I remember it howling in a hurricane.
    We used to watch Howdy-Doody and Jackie Gleason and Uncle Milty.
    My father, a fervent anti-smoking Christian, used to turn down the volume on the Camel cigarette commercials during John Cameron Swayze’s NBC Evening News.
    That TV finally gave up after our family moved to northern Delaware in late 1957; and my father was in no hurry to replace it. —He considered TV to be of-the-Devil and a wasteland.
    I remember my 11th-grade English teacher being dumbfounded that I couldn’t watch Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar as assigned. —He thought TV was of-the-Devil too, and here my father was doing what he should have done.
    Color TV was coming into use by then, but it was so awful I wasn’t interested.
    And TV was still the three networks it was when it started, which meant three commercial broadcast channels out of Philadelphia, four if you include the educational TV channel.
    Now it’s 89 bazilyun channels, most of them on cable.
    I still have the gigantic lightweight aluminum-tube antenna I was gonna erect in our attic if I needed to. But by then rabbit-ears were sufficient (although marginal, out here in the country), and I knew cable would be out front eventually.
    I switched to cable in Rochester. We had cable there way before out here.
    My current TV is a tiny Sony fed by a combination DVR/VCR, driven by cable.
    Various of my siblings go ballistic because it isn’t a giant wall-mounted plasma-baby.
    It reflects my priorities. Most of my money is in this here rig, and I think most TV is a wasteland.
    Stupidest are “WipeOut,” “Extreme Home Mayhem,” “The Bachelorette,” “Wife-Swap,” and bearded hippies fashioning a glitzy custom motorcycle out of rotting banana-peels with ballpeen hammers and flaming torches.

  • “Wheel” is of course “Wheel-of-Fortune.”
  • “Tail-a-bizhion” is how a previous landlady in Rochester pronounced “television.”
  • “It’s a miracle, Bobby!” is something my God-fearing mother used to say to me.
  • RE: “When we first built this house......” is 1989; moved in in 1990. We did not actually build the house, just designed it. Our house was built by a contractor. (We live in the small rural town of West Bloomfield in Western N.Y.)
  • “My sister (Betty) in Florida” lives in a condominium building. —She’s an administrator.
  • “RCA” is Radio-Corporation-of-America, once the largest purveyer of electronics (radios), but now defunct.
  • “Uncle Milty” is Milton Berle — Texaco Star Theater.
  • Our family lived in “Erlton,” a suburb of Philadelphia across the river in south Jersey. (“Erlton” [‘EARL-tin’] is where I lived until I was 13. Erlton was founded in the ‘30s, named after its developer, whose name was Earl. Erlton was north of Haddonfield, an old Revolutionary town.)
  • Prior to living in West Bloomfield, we lived in Rochester.
  • “Plasma-babies” are what my loudmouthed macho brother-from-Boston calls all high-definition wide/flat-screen TVs. Other technologies beside plasma are available, but he calls them all “plasma-babies.”
  • Thursday, June 11, 2009

    Lights!

    Our beloved zero-turn may not be charging the battery.
    It uses a battery to crank its starter-motor; starts like a car.
    A while ago it wouldn’t crank, which to me means dead battery. —We had to push it into our shed.
    I have a small trickle-charger to charge various batteries, e.g. my motorcycle.
    So I hooked it up to the zero-turn’s battery, and plugged the charger into my 100-foot extension-cord, which I plugged into an outside outlet.
    I let it charge all night, so viola; the mower cranked the next day like normal.
    So every day after each mow I hooked up the trickle-charger, and let it charge all night.
    The trickle-charger has two tiny diode lights: one red and one green.
    At full charging it’s solid red. Fully charged is green. Almost charged is red with winking green.
    After mowing it would be solid red for a long time, which tells me it may have been running on the battery.
    I picked the brain of good old Dan at Leif’s, where I bought it.
    “I ain’t sure it’s charging, so where’s the charger on it?”
    “Two magnets are in the flywheel,” he said; “that rotate past a pickup.
    They’re very hard to get at. Ya need a puller, and are taking things all apart.
    In my experience, it’s your voltage-regulator, a sealed transistorized unit. It looks like this.”
    He showed me a Briggs & Stratton voltage-regulator. “These two yellow wires come from the pickup, and the single red wire goes to your starter solenoid.”
    Okay, I have a tester, but I last used it about 25-30 years ago.
    It can measure amperage to the battery when wired in.
    It can also measure voltage, but that doesn’t matter as much as amperage to the battery.
    Don’t know if I’ll ever get around to using it — not enough time.
    Meanwhile, I keep charging the battery after each mow with the trickle-charger — it always showed solid red for a while.
    The other night, I hooked everything up, and no lights at the trickle-charger.
    Now what?
    Is this thing charging?
    I dork around, resetting the ground-fault-interrupter that I think may control the outside plug receptacle.
    No lights.
    I disconnect everything and take the trickle-charger inside to try it on the battery of the Greenie, which is still disconnected inside.
    Lights!
    Charger works, I guess.
    Don’t know about the outside receptacle.
    Next day, I take a table-lamp I use as my test lamp from our bedroom.
    Plug table-lamp into outside receptacle. —Works.
    Plug extension-cord into outside receptacle, and then lamp into extension-cord.
    Doesn’t work.
    Looks like the extension-cord failed.
    I should mention that in the middle of all this my test bulb also went south.
    Back to square one.
    Replace wonky bulb with working bulb.
    All this is developing into a visit to the hardware in Honeoye Falls.
    I could fix the extension-cord, but I’ve always wanted to replace it. It’s only two-strand — no ground wire — so needs an adapter-plug.
    I tested the adapter too. That worked, so it’s the cord.
    Looked like the plug had come apart, so I could probably fix it, if I -a) had the time, and -b) were so inclined.
    Off to the hardware in Honeoye Falls — five minutes away, as opposed to 35 minutes to mighty Wal*Mart — all to purchase a new 100-foot extension-cord. —Other errands got attached; as always. The hardware is next to the MarketPlace supermarket.
    Back home, plug trickle-charger into new extension-cord.
    Lights!

  • Our “zero-turn” is our 48-inch Husqvarna riding-mower; “zero-turn” because it’s a special design with separate drives to each drive-wheel, so it can be spun on a dime. “Zero-turns” are becoming the norm, because they cut mowing time in half compared to a lawn-tractor, which has to be set up for each mowing-pass.
  • “Leif’s” is Leif’s Sales and Service, a small-engine repair and Husqvarna store nearby. (Dan is also a railfan; like me.)
  • “Briggs & Stratton” is the maker of the engine in my zero-turn, an 18-horsepower V-twin.
  • A “ground-fault-interrupter” cuts out the current to a circuit if the circuit grounds — e.g. attempts to electrocute the user. —It’s a protection mechanism, and all outside circuits have “ground-fault-interrupter” protection by code.
  • “The Greenie” is our previous mower, a small 38-inch cut riding mower. It’s John Deere, so is green. I still have it; and -a) use it to brush-hog paths, or -b) as backup.
  • “Honeoye (‘HONE-eee-oy’) Falls” is the nearest town to where we live in western New York, a rural town about five miles away.
  • RE: “Adapter-plug....” —Three terminal plug into two-terminal receptacle; the third wire is ground. Most extension-cords ya now see are three-wire; and the receptacles are also grounded, with the plug receptacles of different size to make the plug energize just so. The plug blades are of different shape, so one side won’t plug into the smaller receptacle.
  • “MarketPlace supermarket” is a small independent supermarket in Honeoye Falls we often buy groceries at.
  • My siblings all loudly declare Wal*Mart is the greatest store in the entire known universe, and the fact that I rarely shop there means I’m of-the-Devil.
  • Tuesday, June 09, 2009

    Stroke effects

    My dental-floss ran out yesterday morning.
    I have to use a small piece every time I eat an orange, because orange-rind wedges in my teeth.
    I use Glide® dental-floss, much to the dismay of my siblings.
    It was recommended by my dental provider, because Reach® would snag and break.
    Never mind; Jesus used Reach, and the fact that I don’t shows I’m of-the-Devil.
    Using the wrong dental-floss seems to be the same as using an Apple MacIntosh computer, another cardinal sin.
    My Veramyst® nasal allergy spray ran out the other day (Saturday, June 6, 2009).
    It’s a prescription medication, and I use it instead of over-the-counter allergy medications that don’t work.
    A few years ago I was using Flonase® nasal spray — another prescription allergy medication.
    It worked, but wasn’t doing anything for itchy eyes.
    My doctor gave me a free Veramyst sample. —Same thing that was being advertised on TV as effective against both nasal allergies and itchy eyes.
    Don’t know if it’s any better, but it’s what I use.
    Use of a prescription nasal spray for my hay fever is another cause for sibling weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth.
    A proper tub-thumping Christian uses over-the-counter allergy relief, which in my case doesn’t work.
    “I ain’t sprayin’ no medicine up my nose!” my Bible-thumping sister-in-Florida shouts.
    I’m of-the-Devil because I’m not a proper tub-thumping Christian. Everything I do is WRONG; which includes my choice in motorcycles, running shoes, and toothpaste.
    After all, Jesus rode a Harley.
    Also, I’m running out of athlete’s foot cream.
    Strangely, my siblings haven’t weighed in on this yet.
    I have a preference (perish-the-thought); what works.
    More-than-likely, it’s not the preference of Godly people.
    All of this is adding up to a visit to Rite-Aid Pharmacy.
    Another cause for weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth.
    It’s not CVS, the choice of my siblings.
    I call Rite-Aid. They tell me my Veramyst prescription is still eligible for renewel. I lost the box with its sticker, and would have called it in beforehand.
    This makes calling my doctor unnecessary. The prescription will be ready to pick up in a few hours.
    So off to Rite-Aid in nearby Honeoye Falls. CVS would be a long journey into another county. Rite-Aid is much more convenient; just of-the-Devil.
    Obtain tube of athlete’s foot cream.
    “Can I help you find something?” a droll bespeckled balding manager-type asks.
    Seconds pass.
    This is the way it always is — has been ever since my stroke.
    Slowly assemble the words for speaking, and hope he doesn’t get angry.
    “Dental-floss,” I finally say.
    Took a while, but I finally got it out.
    “Right down here,” he points.
    Thankfully, he didn’t get angry, despite my taking almost six seconds to get those two simple words out.
    It has.
    It’s not my original speech center.
    That got vaporized by my stroke.
    A remaining part of my brain had to take over and become my speech center; and it wasn’t designed for speech.

  • I had a stroke October 26, 1993, and it slightly compromised my speech. (Difficulty putting words together.)
  • All my siblings are tub-thumping born-again Christians.
  • “Honeoye Falls” is the nearest town to where we live in western New York, a rural town about five miles away.
  • Saturday, June 06, 2009

    Armchair aerobics

    The other day (Thursday, June 4, 2009) I’m about finished our complete circumnavigation of the so-called elitist country-club with our dog.
    She loves it. Every morning she demands to be taken there, and we usually can oblige.
    It’s about a five-mile walk, completely around both ponds. —Boughton Park was once the Fairport Water Supply.
    There are two jaunts through squirrel-lands, and a chipmunk land, plus the walk is almost entirely through woods.
    But the footing is terrible; exposed roots, some knotted, cross at least 70% of the paths. They can trip you up and send you flying.
    There also are ups-and-downs.
    The Boughton Park Commission, which I was long ago a member of, got the wet spots bridged.
    I did a brochure for them, and labeled one bridge the “Mead (‘Meed’) Skyway,” after the old farmer who built it.
    It was a long wooden walkway, without handrails, elevated about four feet above a wide marshy slough. Reminded me of a skyway.
    Don Mead was our maintenance-man at that time, a crotchety old guy in his 70s.
    I’m almost done, descending the hill through chipmunk land, a somewhat open area next to an open picnic pavilion installed long ago by the Bloomfield Lions Club on a promontory.
    I’m headed toward a peninsula out into the West Pond.
    As I come down the hill, I see the older lady who arrives in the dark maroon Buick Century is sitting at a picnic-table out on the peninsula.
    She’s facing away from me, overlooking the pond, and appears to be madly spinning a horizontal invisible beer keg with her forearms.
    She’s also rocking back-and-forth in a swoon, as if conducting an imaginary symphony orchestra out over the pond.
    She doesn’t see me — doesn’t even know I’m there. So I tread quietly behind her, headed out to the point.
    All I can think is “Marcy, it’s everywhere!”
    Uh-ohhhhhh; now she sees me. She’s rather embarrassed.
    “What do you think of my armchair aerobics?” she asks, as I walk back the peninsula.
    No comment; what can I say? —I’m sure I now have an inadvertent “deer-in-the-headlights” look.
    All I can think is “whatever turns ya on, lady!” But I don’t say that; she’s embarrassed enough already.
    “I learned this in Florida from my 86-year-old mother. She’s stronger than me. Every morning she and her friends do this in their retirement gym for a half-hour.”
    “Well, a half-hour is what makes the difference,” I mumble.
    I’m 65 years old. I get dragged five miles over horrible footing by a dog that pulls almost the whole way, and occasionally lunges off into the underbrush.
    That lady is probably the same age as me; perhaps younger. I think staggering around this here park is more fruitful than spinning an imaginary beer keg.

  • “The so-called elitist country-club” is nearby Boughton (“BOW-tin” as in “ow”) Park, where I run and we walk our dog. It was called that long ago by an editor at the Canandaigua Daily-Messenger newspaper, where I once worked, because it will only allow taxpayers of the three towns that own it to use it. We are residents of one of those towns. —There are two large dammed ponds therein.
  • Our current dog is “Scarlett;” a rescue Irish-Setter. She’s almost four, and is our sixth Irish-Setter. She’s a hunter.
  • “Fairport” is a small suburb east of Rochester on the Erie Canal. It had its own water-supply, but switched to using county water. They sold their water-supply area to the Ontario County towns of Victor and East and West Bloomfield. The three towns turned it into a park.
  • We live in the small rural town of West Bloomfield in Western N.Y. Adjacent is the rural town of East Bloomfield, and the village of Bloomfield is within it. East Bloomfield is one of the three towns that own the park — West Bloomfield another.
  • RE: “Marcy, it’s everywhere!” —“Marcy” is my number-one Ne’er-do-Well — she was the first I was e-mailing stuff to. Marcy and I worked in adjacent cubicles at the Canandaigua Daily-Messenger newspaper, from where I retired. A picture of her is in this blog at Conclave of Ne’er-do-Wells. At one time she asked how I managed to dredge up so much insane material to write up, and I responded “Marcy, it’s everywhere!”

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