It’s ACTUALLY logging me in

For the past couple days I been wrastling with our bank’s new online banking system.
We’ve been using online banking the past few years.
I like it because it allows me to initiate online bill-pays.
None of this foolishness where a payee depletes our checking-account with mistaken multiple bill-pays.
I’ve seen it happen.
A friend authorized a creditor to automatically charge her checking-account for electronic loan-repayments.
It went crazy!
It instituted multiple erroneous payments, depleting her checking-account causing overdrafts.
If I’m instituting the bill-pays, I can keep that from happening.
Unless the bank screws up, which they better not.
I show up at the bank with a loud mouth.
I scare customers by driving bank personnel crazy.
I used to work for a bank, and I know how it is.
The extent to which you get a bank to do anything is a direct function of the size of your bank balance.
Or loudness of your mouth.
To a bank I’m small potatoes; I’m not a Kodak or Xerox, or CEO thereof.
And I don’t belong to the Chamber of Commerce, the Lions Club, or the local Rotary.
Years ago a bank lost my paycheck deposit.
They didn’t deposit my paycheck, so checks started bouncing creating overdraft penalties.
I had a receipt. I stormed the bank.
Frightened customers fled in terror. Bank personnel scurried in fear.
“Here, see this?” I shrieked. “It’s your receipt, and I ain’t leavin’ until you put that money in our account!
Tain’t my fault you lost my deposit. And you can just reimburse all your penalty fees.
I used to work for a bank,” I shouted. “Your offset is your loss. You can use that to credit our account, and I ain’t leavin’ until ya do!
I can have my employer stop-payment on that missing paycheck, and issue another. That’s your recovery.
Meantime, ya can credit our account, per your receipt.”
I went through all the motions with the bank’s new online banking system.
“First-time login?” —Yes.
“We’ll e-mail a security-key. Use that to set up.”
I set up, supposedly registering this computer, or so I thought.
I tried logging in; I thought I should be able to.
But it wanted to send another security-key, as if I were a first-time user.
Back burner.
That was a week ago.
I tried calling the bank yesterday morning (Monday, November 14, 2011).
“We are experiencing heavy phonecall volume.” (In other words: “We are swamped.”)
“If you are having difficulty with our online banking system, we have extended our calling hours, and ya might wanna also try our online prompt.” (In other words: “Read the instructions, stupid!”)
As always, the instructions run up against the fact I had a stroke, so I can’t adequately concentrate.
Okay, I tried again, as I had many times.
Again, the security-key bit.
BOINK! Security-key number ten.
There’s the new site, elaborate and glitzy.
But it also threw up a window: “Do you wish to register this computer, or continue security-key logins? Registering your computer bypasses security-key logins.”
Wait a minute! I never saw that before — or noticed it. Maybe I was shown that earlier and bypassed it, continuing security-key logins.
I clicked “register this computer,” and tried logging in again.
“WHOA; it’s actually logging me in.
I don’t hafta call the bank,” I said.

• Rochester (NY) is mainly Kodak and Xerox, or was.
• I had a stroke October 26, 1993, from which I pretty much recovered.