Slough of Despond

 “It seems I get this thing stuck every year,” I said to Brenda Tripp, the lady who does my interior painting.
My gigantic zero-turn lawnmower was stuck in a Slough-of-Despond.
(Sorry; I should have taken a picture.)
“Two years ago (2011) I got it stuck over there,” I said, pointing to the south.
“At that time Linda was still alive, but in no shape to extract that lawnmower.
In fact, within a couple days she was hospitalized with acute anemia and leg-swelling.
The anemia was caused by lymphoma cancer, which killed her about a year later.
The leg-swelling was caused by restricted blood-flow back from her legs; restricted by the cancer.
I miss her dearly.
“Kenny Britton pulled me out with his QuadraTrak.”
Kenny is the guy who does yard-work for me, including a tiny bit of mowing.
“Then last year, shortly after my wife died, I got it stuck over there, in the woods, and your brother, who was up-the-street mowing a neighbor’s yard, came over and got me out.
In fact, what I think he did, big strapping dude that he is, was move the mower where I could drive it out.”
I had called Brenda hoping she could ring up her brother. She couldn’t, so suggested maybe she could help push me out.
“I don’t know, Brenda. That thing weighs about 700 pounds.”
Brenda came from a painting-job, and we walked back to my stuck mower.
“Maybe I could push,” she said.
I got on, started it, and Brenda pushed.
The mower went straight ahead, out of where it was stuck, but still in the wet.
We tried again. More straight, still in the wet.
“We gotta get over here on the path,” Brenda said. The path was dry.
We grabbed the front, and turned the mower about 90 degrees. Now it was aimed at the dry.
We tried again. I noticed Brenda beside me pushing for all she was worth.
It caught, onto the dry, and leaped merrily ahead.
“I’m puttin’ this this thing away,” I yelled, as I roared out of the woods.
Across my huge lawn I went, headed for my shed where I store it.
I noticed Kenny in my driveway. “I’m out!” I said. He had no idea what I was talking about.
I had left a message earlier that my mower was stuck, but he hadn’t heard it yet.
He was only there to do some mowing for me, not get me out.
“I’ve gone out-of-my-way to avoid wet spots,” I told him. “Parts have gone unmowed for fear of getting stuck.
But I am so used to carving around that tree, the wetness didn’t register,” I said.
Brenda left for home in triumph.
My wife was like that: tough as nails.
I used to tell her the reason I married her is because she’d help move a piano.
My sister and mother always cried “That’s man-work,” and deferred.
I remember our moving a heavy precast concrete staircase. It probably weighed 900 pounds.
But now I’m alone, and 69 years old. I don’t wanna get that mower stuck.
I was able to mow the next day, but I avoided the paths in the woods. They might be wet.

• A “zero-turn” lawnmower is a special design with separate drives to each drive-wheel, so it can be spun on a dime. “Zero-turns” are becoming the norm, because they cut mowing time in half compared to a lawn-tractor, which has to be set up for each mowing-pass. Mine is 48-inch cut. I could never keep up with my huge lawn without it.