U-Scan

(FROM THE VAUNTED “AIN’T TECHNOLOGY WONDERFUL” FILE)

Zippity-dooo!
The mighty Canandaigua Tops has “U-Scan” terminals; Weggers doesn’t (YET) — terminals ya can scan your grocery-order yourself.
I’ve wanted to try it before, but they were always occupied — and the express-line wasn’t.
But today (Monday, March 10, 2008) they weren’t, so I thought I’d give it a shot.
“Please press ‘start’ to begin.”
“Bip!”
“Welcome to Tops Markets. If ya have a ‘value-card,’ please scan it now.”
All it is is my bar-coded keytag. Extract keytag (while Granny goes ballistical because I’m holding things up. “I got bingo to go to!”). “Bip!”
“Please begin scanning your order.”
Okay; all it is is this Ben & Fat Jerry’s Chocolate ice-cream. “Bip!”
“Be-boop!” The end; end of order.
“Is that all? You’re a disgrace to the American Way. Go back and buy some more!”
“Please select method of payment” — this thing even takes cash and checks.
“Please run credit-card through reader.”
“Bip!”
“Credit or debit?”
“Credit.”
“Please take your card to the service-desk to complete your order.”
“What?” I thought the idea was to take store-employees outta the loop. I see a pimply teenybopper manning a service-desk for four U-Scans (okay, that’s three less employees); “I guess I’m supposed to give you this,” I say.
“All ya have to do is sign this.” (Weggers has electronical signing, although I saw a lady swipe the terminal with the electronical pen — the equivalent of the signature that was on our refund check from LeBrun Toyota. It was a refund of the registration for the Bucktooth Bathtub, which didn’t cost as much as planned. Whoever signed the check had scribbled a few circles on the line. I might have even put it on FlagOut.)
“Do I get a receipt? I need a receipt!”
“Back at the U-Scan,” he said.

“Weggers” is Wegmans, a large supermarket-chain based in Rochester we often buy groceries at. They have a store in Canandaigua, as does Tops, which is based in Buffalo.

“Ben & Fat Jerry” is Ben & Jerry.

“LeBrun Toyota” in Canandaigua is where we bought the so-called “Bucktooth-Bathtub,” our 2005 Toyota Sienna van; called that because it’s white and like sitting in a bathtub, and appears to have a bucktooth on the grill. There was a partial refund of the registration-fee, which was too large. LeBrun issued us a check.

“FlagOut” is our family’s web-site, named that because I had a mentally-retarded kid-brother (Down Syndrome) who lived at home, and loudly insisted the flag be flown every day. “Flag-Out! Sun comes up, the flag goes up! Sun goes down, the flag comes down.” I fly the flag partly in his honor. (He died at 14 in 1968.)