Foose

‘34 Ford (left); and Plymouth Prowler (right). The Prowler has a ‘34 Ford grille, and motorcycle fenders; the Ford is fenderless. (One wonders how ya get the Ford into a driveway without damaging it?)

Yesterday (Wednesday, September 26, 2007) two of my 2008 calendars arrived: my two car-calendars; my Oxman Publishing calendars — Classic Street Rods 2008 and Legendary Sportscars 2008.
They were ordered over the phone, since the Oxman calendar site had the 2008 catalog, but still had the 2007 calendars pictured. Seems this was what it was last year, but I called them to make sure I got the 2008 calendars.
“Order CAL07 and CAL05 online and you get the 2008 calendars, no matter what the site has pictured. But I can take your order.”
Both calendars are a let-down, but the “Classic Street Rods” in particular.
It’s all hot-rods by Chip Foose.
Foose is okay, but he’s usually over dramatic; cars more dream-like than real-world.
He’s especially drawn to the ‘34 Ford: classic upright lines with a laid-back grille. (There are three ‘34 Fords, a ‘33, and a ‘34 wannabee [the Prowler, pictured].)
Absolutely flawless and spotless and perfect — um, what if it rains? —Them fenderless tires are gonna throw up roostertails, and there’s no top to put up. Wipe the windshield with your hands.
Oh, and uh toothpicks from a chromed power-dispenser for removing bugs from your teeth.
Sorry, but the Milner coupe in American Graffiti made more sense.
One afternoon the guy that helped rebuild our kitchen on Winton Road showed up in a Milner-coupe imitation he had built.
I was impressed. It looked great. You were sitting on the floor, scrunched under the chopped top, but at least there was weather-protection.
I remember it having a 3/4-inch plywood floor, but at least it was drivable.
I’m sure there were flaws Foose wouldn’t pass, but I doubt you could drive a Foose dream.
Earlier Oxman hot-rod calendars were fantastic: classic ‘32 highboys and even a ‘41 Willys.
(To my mind the Willys looks even better than the vaunted ‘40-Ford coupe; since it’s only three-window [instead of five], and a one-piece flat windshield [the Ford is two-piece]. Plus it’s smaller, and has a prettier grille.)

‘54 Chevy custom (left); and ‘57 Chevy convertible stylized up to 1959 proportions (right).

This calendar has a customized ‘54 Chevy in it, for crying out loud.
The ‘54 Chevy was one of the plainest turkeys ever made (my parents had a ‘53; which we affectionately called the “Blue Bomb” — it was navy-blue. It’s the same body as the ‘54).
Of course the heavy boat-anchor Stovebolt-Six has been levered out, and replaced by a snorting 510-horsepower 427 Big-Block.
Thankfully, Foose didn’t do much to it, except it suffers from the huge Californy wheels (18-inch or more) Foose seems attracted to.
(A couple of the ‘34 Fords have these.)
Foose also widened the reversed spear-applique a tiny amount on the rear fenders, and put in the corrugated finish-panel that’s on ‘57 Bel Airs. It looks okay, but since the ‘54 is so close to stock, it looks different. (That 427 also prompted a V on the trunklid.)
The calendar also has a ‘57 Chevy convertible (pictured) sized up to 1959 proportions. It looks a little ridiculous — like too wide.
My Legendary Sportscars Calendar is a let-down too. Too many cars from the ‘30s: a garish Hitler Mercedes roadster, a Delahaye, a grand aluminum-bodied Bugatti closed road-car; even a mighty 1931 Duesenberg boat-tail J speedster.
Excuse me; but all these cars belong in a “Classic-Car” calendar. The closest we get to legendary sportscars is a GullWing Mercedes, and a Ford GT40.
No recent Ferraris or Maseratis, or even Porsches or Jaguars.
The Alfa they have is also ancient.
I might have to try other than Oxman next year. Other calendar-printers might print better stuff.

Chip Foose is a car-builder and designer based in Californy who has a program on History-Channel titled “Overhaulin’.” He once was vice-president of “Hot-Rods by Boyd” (Coddington); but is now on-his-own.

RE: “on Winton Road.......” We once lived in a house on Winton Road in Rochester before we moved here to West Bloomfield.

A “‘32 highboy” is a hot-rodded 1932 Ford roadster, usually fenderless.

RE: “three-window” is two side-windows in the doors only, plus the rear-window; and “five-window” was four side-windows — one each in the doors, and one small window behind each door; plus a single rear-window. A ‘40 Ford coupe is actually six-window; since the rear window is actually two panes of glass.

The “Stovebolt-Six” was the inline-six motor Chevrolet built from 1937 to 1963 or ‘64. It was called “the Stovebolt” because it had bolts that could be replaced with stove bolts that could be gotten from a hardware-store.

“427 Big-Block” is the larger motor built by Chevrolet in the late ‘60s and early ‘70s. It came in various displacements: 396, 402, 427, and 454 cubic-inches.