Say it! Tell her!

—“I try to come here without bothering you,” I said to my lifeguard friend at Canandaigua’s YMCA swimming pool…..
But it seems every week something bubbles up.
Yesterday I went to my pharmacy in Honeoye Falls. One of my lady friends runs that pharmacy.
When she saw it was me, she turned and smiled at me, then said ‘hello, how are you?’
True to form, I locked up, just like I do with you. I couldn’t say ‘fine, how are you?’
You even give me the words.
So later I thought why can I never say ‘fine, how are you?’
I began to think it dishonest. I hardly can walk, and my balance is dreadful. To say I’m ‘fine’ would be lying.
And I’m no good at lying.”
My friend laughed.
“It’s not lying,” she said. “Lying implies evil intent; and there isn’t any. You’re not being devious.”
“To me a more truthful answer would be ‘I ain’t dead yet!’”
My friend laughed again.
So what do I do to honestly tell someone I’m happy to see ‘em?
“There’s your answer,” I told my friend.” I can’t say ‘fine, how are you,’ but I can say ‘happy to see ya.’ And I am of course.”
Class finished, I walked through the pool to its edge. My lifeguard friend was going off-duty, but she was walking past poolside.
“Before you leave,” I interrupted; “15–16 consecutive weeks so far, and I like it!”
My friend smiled.
Go ahead! Say it! Make her smile!
70 years late Yr Fthfl Srvnt learns the absolute joy of interacting with women, even pretty ones.
My friend hasn’t smacked me yet, nor sent me packing.

• I do aquatic balance training in Canandaigua’s YMCA swimming-pool, currently one class per week — 45 minutes — less than usual due to COVID-19.
• I am a graduate of the infamous Hilda Q. Walton School of Gender Relations, whereby at age 5 I was convinced that “No pretty lady will ever associate with you!” My Bible-beating parents heartily agreed.