Two successful female brain-picks in one day

That’s AMAZING for a graduate of the “Hilda Q. Walton School of Gender Relations.”
I imagine my constant-readers know all about the “Hilda Q. Walton School of Gender Relations;” so I’ll just footnote it.
My first brain-pick was ****** ******, once an editor at the Mighty Mezz. She now directs Public Relations at Finger Lakes Community College, hired away from the Messenger by my old Messenger Executive Editor, who went to FLCC after the newspaper changed owners. That guy died of a heart-attack, so ****** replaced him.
I e-mailed ****** about passive-voice, which she abhors, as do I.
We’d met at Mighty Weggers, and discussed passive-voice.
I thought it was use of “has been” instead of “was.” But she said something about removal of the subject, and how Academia, overly guilty of that, drives her up-the-wall.
I never heard of that, so requested explanation.
“If my husband tells me the dishes weren’t done, I wonder if the dishes were supposed to do themselves. I asked him to do the dishes, but he’s not telling me he didn’t do them.”
“That’s passive-voice,” she said; subject deleted. “The one who didn’t do the dishes was my husband, but that wasn’t what he told me.”
Finally, passive-voice explained, or so it seemed.
And by a female of all things. Yrs Trly is used to getting shot down. If I make any contact with the opposite sex, I’m automatically on-the-make.
My other brain-pick was ****** **** ******, my aquatic balance-training instructor at the Canandaigua YMCA’s swimming-pool.
I tried non swimming-pool therapy at a nearby hospital, and they suggested a few things I wanted to discuss with ****** ****.
****** **** is a water-therapy instructor, and usually has clients.
“I’m available if you are,” I said to her after our class. (She leads the class.)
Yada-yada-yada. “What about this?” then “What about this?”
The way that non-pool therapy told me to get out of a chair, for example, didn’t contradict, but I was doing it wrong on both counts.
That I was able to pick her brain 5-10 minutes is amazing. —A) She usually can’t spare the time, and —B) I made too many mistakes with her, many at the behest of a boy/girl coach I don’t listen to any more.
Not too long ago a nurse for my semiannual physical asked if I developed any new allergies since my last physical.
“Yeah,” I said. “Ladies.”
“You better be glad I’m not giving you a shot!” she shouted.
I felt bad.
Like it or not I’m a graduate of the Hilda Q. Walton School of Gender Relations, and much as I came to enjoy female companionship, it’s apparent any contact by me, a male (gasp!), makes them justifiably wary. “He’s on-the-make!”
Perhaps it’s because I’m a widower, presumably looking for someone to do my laundry, dishwasher, cook, etc, all of which I do myself. As I’ve done since my wife died seven years ago.
“Just be yourself,” my counselor advises. I guess “being myself” is to not suggest to a lady-friend. So far I’ve suggested four different widows join our weekly bereavement eat-out. Only one didn’t crash. One crashed three times.
Now word is getting around among those ladies I suggested. If I suggest, I’m on-the-make! If they suggest it’s okay.

---

The whole point of this blog is my surprise that a lady would respond to me. That’s Hilda: “No pretty girl will talk to you!”
The other day a lady-friend walked up behind me and called my name. I was speechless. I have to tell her to please bear with me; I’m a Hilda Walton grad.
Another lady-friend tells me I should get used to such contacts — that women love talking so me. “You’re funny, and not boring as Hell.”
“Or so it seemed” reflects my continuing confusion regarding passive-voice. I can’t get *******’s definition to jive with the “has-been” versus “was” of another editor friend.
So what does one do? Can you say “Google?”
“Passive voice produces a sentence in which the subject receives an action. In contrast, active voice produces a sentence in which the subject performs an action.” (That’s at https://www.hamilton.edu/academics/centers/writing/seven-sins-of-writing/1 .
*******’s explanation is the dishes did not receive washing; namely her husband didn’t perform the dishwashing, and he avoided saying so by using passive-voice.

• Hilda Q. Walton was my immediate neighbor and Sunday-School Superintendent when I was a child. Like my parents she was hyper-religious. She convinced me all males, including me at age-5, were despicable; “No pretty girl will talk to you!” Her husband was probably playing around. My parents heartily agreed, since I was already rebellious for not worshiping my holier-than-thou father.
• The “Mighty Mezz” is the Canandaigua Daily-Messenger newspaper, from where I retired over 13 years ago. Best job I ever had. I was employed there almost 10 years — over 11 if you count my time as a post-stroke unpaid intern. (I had a heart-defect caused stroke October 26th, 1993, from which I recovered fairly well. That defect was repaired.)
• “Mighty Weggers” is Wegmans, a large supermarket-chain based in Rochester where I often buy groceries. They have a store in Canandaigua.