Self-checkout ruminatin’

“Would that I could ever get out of here without needing help!”
Mighty Weggers, the Wegmans supermarket in Canandaigua where I buy groceries, installed a self-checkout.
Techno-geek that I am, I’ve tried to use it at least 15 times.
Mighty Tops, up the street, has a U-scan, and it’s more pleasant.
“Please place your bag in the bagging-area,” after I hit “use my own bag.”
Ten seconds later: “Please place your bag in the bagging-area.”
“I’m tryin’,” I shout.
“Please place your bag in the bagging-area,” after ten more seconds.
“Oh will you shaddup!” I say. “Not you, this machine,” I say to the pretty young attendant.
The self-checkouts respond to every possibility, which makes them way too complicated.
“Skip bagging” I hit, as I scan my celebration cake-slice. I don’t want icing all over the container if I tip the bag. I put my unbagged cake on the car-floor.
“Oops! You forgot your receipt, sir.”
The other day I forgot my unbagged cake; I had to go back and get it. It was at the service-desk.
I happen to know the product-code for bananas. It’s 4-0-1-1.
“Please place your” (pause) “bananas” (pause) “in your bag.”
Maybe Tops does that too, but it never says anything.
And if you dare scan anything too light to trigger the weight-sensor: “Please deposit all scanned items in your bag,” along with an angry beep prompting the attendant to run to your side to override Armageddon with her key-card.
So much for not needing help.
It took at least 15 tries to learn all the ins and outs: receipt, potato code, unexpected prompts, etc.
Tops doesn’t do that. Just a beep for each bagged grocery, not some nattering nabob of negativism. And Tops took at least five tries. The Wegmans in Williamsport, PA, also has a self-checkout, but I did that unassisted in one try.
But not the Canandaigua Weggers. I keep tryin’.