Here comes *****

Yr Fthfl Srvnt is at the YMCA swimming-pool for balance-training.
*****-the-lifeguard is across the pool, and I can’t make eye-contact.
“Yo!” I shout, and wave.
“BobbaLew,” ***** says.
WHOA! *****-the-lifeguard, who I consider attractive for being 62 years old, plus a good friend, is walking toward me. Perhaps they were “rotating.”
Yrs Trly is a graduate of the Hilda Q. Walton School of Sexual Relations, whereby all pants-wearers, including me, are disgusting. Hilda was my Sunday-School Superintendent and next-door neighbor. My parents, hyper-religious zealots like Hilda, heartily agreed. Imagine what this does to a callow six-year-old. No female is ever gonna talk to me.
But here comes *****. Years ago that woulda scared me off, but no longer having my wife, the first female who actually liked me, I’ve learned Hilda and my parents were full-of-it.
Faire Hilda is spinning-in-her-grave. Never in a million years did I think this would happen. Here comes *****.”

• RE: “rotate......” —Two lifeguards are on duty at the YMCA swimming-pool, one on a poolside lifeguard stand, and one on the other side guarding the kiddie-pool. Every 10 minutes or so they “rotate” = swap positions. One also checks the poolside sauna, to make sure anyone in there is okay.
• “Q” stands for “Quincy,” although I’ve also been told it stands for “qulip;” something to do with The Three Stooges.