Mind-over-matter

“I think I actually deleted recording the 5 o’clock and 5:30 local TV-news,” I said to myself.
Little-by-little The Keed is learning how to drive that fantabulous remote pictured at left.
If you live in the Rochester area you know Spectrum, alias Spectrum/Time-Warner, previously Time-Warner Cable, changed its cable-TV signal to all-digital. This meant my DVD player could no longer record the local and national news.
I never watch TV anyway — I have too much fun on this laptop. The only TV I watch is the local and national news, recorded for viewing while I eat supper, which may not be until 7:30.
I set up a package a while ago, to -a) reduce cost, and -b) double Internet speed. TV had gotten much better, but I couldn’t record. The package made TV digital.
Internet-speed was doubled (so my speedtest says, but not when the kids up-the-street are playin’ their ‘pyooter-games). We plugged the TV-cable back into my old DVD so I could still record the news. Spectrum was still sending a signal my DVD could crunch. But last Wednesday they switched to “all-digital,” whatever that means, a signal my DVD could no longer crunch.
I needed Spectrum’s DVR to be able to record the news. Spectrum came out last Saturday to install their DVR, which swapped out their non-recording TV player.
“Don’t forget, yer talkin’ to someone born in the previous century,” I told the techie. “I gotta be able to drive this thing without pestering you guys.”
I still don’t know exactly what is happening: whether the actual recording takes place on their DVR here in my house. Or it’s at Spectrum’s palatial offices in Rochester.
“Go to Spectrum.com and follow their tutorial on how to use yer remote,” techie said.
“Yeah sure!’ I said. “I had a stroke; tutorials are mental overload. I have too many questions.”
So here I was to figger out this monster alone, no longer a wife to make suggestions and cheer me on.
In fact, I’m glad my wife is no longer around to endure my frustration. I usually figgered out things myself, but there was always the pre-solution blame-game.
Engage “try it and see what happens,” what got me able to work this ‘pyooter, then my iPhone. At nearly age-74 millennials are all-too-happy to tell me I’m over-the-hill. “Hill? What hill? I don’t remember any hill!”
56 buttons, fer cryin’ out loud!
Fiddling began that night. Ergo, how do I even know it’s on? Spectrum’s techie showed me a little, and also programmed four recordings: local news at 5, 5:30, and 6, plus the national news at 6:30.
My ancient DVD was still connected, and I could use it if my TV was reading it instead of my new DVR. The news probably recorded, but I couldn’t find it.
My DVD was still set up to record news pre-digital, but if so it wouldn’t play.
Or so it seemed. Who knew if it was doing things correctly.
I was able to get my old DVD-player to play a train-video I had (I’m a railfan). I watched that instead of The Donald’s latest 3 a.m. tweet from his Great White Throne.
I tried again the next night and got the national TV-news to play. This wasn’t just fiddling the remote. It was also figgerin’ their contorted interface.
My mower-man provided the following: “How do I know it’s on or off?”
“I need a clicking on-off switch so I know it’s on,” I responded. “What I get instead is some ‘pyooter-move flashing ‘on’ at me.”
“It better not talk,” my mower-man said. “If there’s anything I can’t stand it’s my car talking to me.”
Engage guile-and-cunning (the heavy hitter).
I got it to play both local and national the next night, plus the next couple nights. Except 6 p.m. local was programmed for 6 p.m. sharp. Often the 6 p.m. local starts at 5:59, so I need to change the start time.
Also it was still recording 5 and 5:30, and I watch neither. How do I delete? Sounds like another techie visit. Every night I poked around after supper, and last night I inadvertently discovered deletion of those two programming setups. I doubt I could do it again. I probably could, but wouldn’t know what I was doing.
So now it’s programmed to record only 6 p.m. local and 6:30 national. —As always, we’ll see what it does tonight. Out of 56 buttons I use only 23. I try others, and nothing happens.
Mind-over-matter.
“I’m just a mechanic,” my mower-man says.
“That silly remote looks like the Starship Enterprise,” I comment.

• I had a stroke October 26th, 1993 from an undiagnosed heart-defect since repaired. I pretty much recovered. Just tiny detriments; I can pass for never having had a stroke.
• My beloved wife of over 44 years died of cancer April 17th, 2012. I miss her immensely. Best friend I ever had, and after my childhood I sure needed one. She actually liked me.