High-School Science-Project

Within the past year my deceased wife’s older brother, who’s still alive, and I’m good friends with, suggested I try online bank-deposit with my iPhone.
“Capital idea,” I thought. Save having to hit the bank just to deposit a check — which I don’t get often, maybe four or five times per year. Most deposits are electronic.
NY state mailed a property-tax rebate as a check. Endorse, then try online deposit.
Everything has to be done with my iPhone so the check can be photographed. That requires my bank’s app for iPhone. I installed it months ago.
I fired up the bank app; it wanted my log-in. CRASH! Insanity began: “invalid password.”
“NOT! I got it right here on a sticky.”
Oh well, nothing new. Maybe it timed out.
“Forgot password” — done it so many times it no longer drives me up the wall.
The bank wanted to send an “access-code,” so I could reset my password.
“Call this iPhone,” I instructed.
Ring-ring; “This call is auto-generated. Yer access-code is **-**-**-**.” (That’s secure?)
With that I could reset my password. I did, but then CRASH! “You can’t use an earlier password.”
I tried a variation, but that too was an earlier password. CRASH yet again.
“This is turning into a high-school science-project,” I yelled. “All I wanna do is deposit this check. Five minutes becomes a half-hour.”
“Not enough characters, no capital letters, no numbers. NAUGHTY-NAUGHTY!”
Manual set-up might take 10 minutes. 10 more minutes to go through the bank’s auto-window, which I pass anyway on my way to Canandaigua; plus my dog (now gone) loved it because the teller always gave her a MilkBone.
“Time-saving technology” is taking more time. (20 minutes manually versus 30 minutes online.)
Finally I was logged in. Now the actual transaction. I don’t do this often enough to remember procedure, but knew I had to photograph the front and back of the check with my iPhone.
Mysterious unknowable buttons: engage “try it and see what happens.”
I tried a button which snapped a picture. “Well, we got the front.”
Flop check then shoot again. The magic button was trigger-happy — my first attempt was way off-center. I tried a second time: off-center again, but not as bad.
Third attempt: centered enough to be acceptable. NOW WHAT? How do I get it to process? “Menu,” “submit,” nothing that indicates “process.” Again engage “try it and see what happens.”
Flying blind as usual; but I guess it processed.
“Time-saving technology” apparently means added minutes.
Okay, fire up laptop and bring in my bank.
“Invalid password.” (My laptop browser memorizes passwords.)
Why yes, I just changed my bank password with my iPhone; so I tried that. BOOM-ZOOM; IN!
“Update memorized password?” my browser asked. “I guess so.”
I know others my age who would throw up their hands.

• RE: “Manual set-up might take 10 minutes.......” —That’s to print. Just handwriting a deposit-ticket might take a minute. Whatever I do, I still gotta hit the bank.