Car-mags in repose

Ya don’t snag photos like this with a Porsche. (Photo by BobbaLew.)

After over 50 years, I decided to let my life-long subscription to Car and Driver magazine lapse.
I lost interest; Car and Drivers are piling up in my bathroom.
Same with Cycle World. I subscribed to various sport-motorcycle magazines since the early ‘80s, shortly after I bought my first motorcycle (1978-or-’79).
Cycle World is also piling up, and about all I read are the columnists, one of whom is excellent.
Car and Driver began in college. I discovered a throw-away Car and Driver in a laundromat. It was much better than my Hot Rod magazines, which seemed plebeian and illiterate. —Aimed at high-schoolers, yet Car and Driver wasn’t.
I switched to Car and Driver, and then Road & Track. (I also subscribed to Harpers, but quickly ditched that; I needed study-time more than posturing.)
Both Car and Driver and Road & Track were interested in European performance, which seemed better than Detroit’s bloated turkeys.
Particularly Road & Track. Yet Car and Driver was also smitten with Detroit performance, particularly Chevy’s SmallBlock V8, which I loved.

(iPhone photo by BobbaLew.)

For years I was a car guy; still am somewhat. I still attend car-shows: “Hey, looka that! An actual Plymouth Superbird.”
But I never became an enthusiast driver — I was scared.
I flipped my Triumph sportscar in college, and that put the damper on performance driving.
I think only once have I exceeded 100 mph, plus once inadvertently on motorcycle.
I don’t like poor performance. What I drive/ride better respond well to the tiller, plus have adequate power.
No flaccid handling, and tires better be responsive.
I’ve become my paternal grandmother. A car has to start and run reliably. No roadside shenanigans, or gobs of shop time. A Ferrari or Lambo was once desirable, but now only profiling.
Driving became pillar-to-post. For that a Ferrari is overkill. You don’t patronize the supermarket in a Ferrari.
I also drove transit bus 16&1/2 years. It determines how I drive now. My following distances are five-six times the norm; I still avoid tossing passengers outta their seats.
No bumper-to-bumper at 70 for this kid!
I drove bus very carefully; which passengers loved. So now the four-wheelers are often angry at me. I don’t charge in front of traffic, or cut others off. I glance both ways before venturing into a traffic-light controlled intersection, lest some texter inadvertently run the light.
It’s “professional” driving, what my bus-company wanted. I never hit anything except once, and contrary to standard company practice I wasn’t canned.
And now another paradigm entered the fray: the ability to successfully chase trains. I’m a railfan, and love photographing trains. For that I need more ground-clearance and All-Wheel Drive. Chasing trains often involves high-crowned icy farm-tracks.
My railfan friend in Altoona (PA) has a Buick sedan, but it’s only front-wheel drive. It also has less ground-clearance. Years ago we had to give up a snowy location because his Buick couldn’t do it. All-Wheel Drive woulda done it.
Another location he had to drive off-center on the crown and shoulder, lest he smash the oil-pan.
I never worry about this. I easily charge dirt-tracks in pursuit of a photograph.

The Keed returns to his train-chaser. (Photo by Jack Hughes.)

My car isn’t a Jeep, but it’s an SUV.
A ‘Vette might be more interesting, but no good for chasing trains. It ain’t All-Wheel Drive, and might hole something.
And where, pray tell,  do you stretch out a ‘Vette, and get away with it? 180 mph? LA-DEE-DAH! Try that and you inflame the gendarmerie.
Fancy-dan Masers and Lambos ponderously trolling crowded parking-lots in south FL at 2-5 mph.
Auto enthusiasm seems to be dying. Performance has wildly leapfrogged what’s needed, which is pillar-to-post. 70 mph expressways are so crowded you spend more time idling in stopped traffic.
And now self-driving cars are threatening. Yer gonna hafta pry my cold, dead fingers from the steering-wheel.
Garbage-in, garbage-out! NO WAY am I gonna let technology drive my car. This ‘pyooter lobs enough unknowables at me. (“What prompted that?”)
So Car and Driver is no longer relevant. You can’t chase trains in a Beemer.

• “Lambos” are Lamborghinis, “Masers” are Maseratis, and “Beemers” are BMW, also called “Bimmers.”