“Don’t hang up!”

.....bellowed the guy on the other end of my telephone-line.
It sounded like my friend in Texas, so I didn’t at first.
“Congratulations! Your home has been selected to receive a complete General-Electric wireless security-system installed for free!”
I hung up.
Back in 1989, while our new house was being built, our contractor wondered if he should install an alarm-system.
I refused.
“Best alarm-system I ever had,” I said; “has four legs and barks. When we lived in Rochester we were the only house on our block not broken into, and one night our dog scared a would-be intruder off our front porch.”
That was our first dog; now I’m on dog number-six.
I thought this most recent dog was less an alarm-system until she barked at my cleaning-lady, who has a key to my house.
I send my dog outside to greet the Jehovah’s Witnesses.
She puts the fear-of-the-Lord into ‘em.
She also had a few words to say to the guy from the West Bloomfield Volunteer Fire Department, who came soliciting a donation.
(I donated; I always have.)
My brother in northern Delaware has an alarm-system.
It goes “be-be-beep” every time a door is opened.
Okay, it’s working, but heaven-forbid if their cat sneaks out.
My uncle who died a few years ago had an alarm-system.
“Don’t go downstairs until I disarm that alarm-system. It thinks you’re a burglar and calls the police.”
Never any false alarms with my four-legged alarm-system, and I can depend on her.
She’s scared away trick-or-treaters.

• My current dog is “Scarlett” (two “Ts,” as in Scarlett O’Hara), a rescue Irish-Setter. She’s seven, and is our sixth Irish-Setter, a high-energy dog. (A “rescue Irish Setter” is an Irish Setter rescued from a bad home; e.g. abusive or a puppy-mill. [Scarlett was from a failed backyard breeder.] By getting a rescue-dog, we avoid puppydom, but the dog is often messed up. —Scarlett isn't bad. She’s our fourth rescue.)
• I live in the small rural town of West Bloomfield, southeast of Rochester.