Happy dog versus sad dog

Happy. (Photo by BobbaLew.)

Last night (Friday, September 7, 2012), while looking for a photo to use in a Monthly Calendar Report, I stumbled upon the photo above of my dog Scarlett (as in “Scarlett O’Hara”) just after we got her.
Scarlett is a rescue Irish-Setter, rescued from a failed backyard breeder in Ohio.
We first met Scarlett in Buffalo (NY). She had been brought there as a proposed therapy-dog for another Rochester couple.
Some therapy-dog she would have been.
I’ll never forget when we first met Scarlett.
Four dogs were in crates in a minivan.
The lady opened the sliding side door, and “whap-whap-whap-whap!”
“I hear a thumping tail!” I shouted.
“That would be Scarlett,” the lady said. “A people-dog.”
I started walking Scarlett around, being pulled.
Obviously very high-energy.
The people looking for a therapy-dog got more interested in one of Scarlett’s puppies; he was more laid back.
Scarlett was only just three, but had already had two litters.
Do I take Scarlett or not? Obviously she was very high-energy, and I was 64 at that time.
But I had just come off a high-energy Irish-Setter, Killian, more a red-setter (smaller), a hunter.
We took Scarlett home. I promised my best.
It was my wife who wanted a dog. I was only somewhat interested.
We had just lost Killian. He got Lymphoma cancer, and we finally had to put him to sleep.
Now everything has changed.
My beloved wife of over 44 years died of cancer April 17th of this year, also of Lymphoma.
Like me she was 68. I miss her dearly.
So I am left with Scarlett, very much alone.
I now have all the responsibilities the two of us had, so I don’t have much time for Scarlett.
I have to shunt her aside so I can do things.
I still take her for long walks in the woods, plus another two or three short walks per day.
But I can’t point out squirrels and chipmunks that might lead to a time-consuming foray.
Scarlett has also discovered the joy of hunting; something she wasn’t interested in when we got her.
There is debate whether I give her a good life.
Dog-owners rarely walk their dog as much as I walk Scarlett.
They also may groom their dog maybe once a year, whereas I do every month or two.
I also brush seeds and burrs out of her coat, whereas others allow knots to form.

Photo by Lisa Schaal Robinson.

“I wanna go home.”

But all I have to do is compare the picture above to what I see now.
Scarlett still follows me around, and licks me like I’m wonderful.
But I no longer see the happy dog I see in the above picture.
What I see is a sad face who follows me because she has to.
I’m not sure when the sadness took over. It may have been before my wife died.
The picture at left was taken by a dog-groomer before my wife died.
What we have here is the sad “I wanna go home” look.
Of course, the dog is getting older, as am I.
Scarlett is now seven, and I’m 68.
I’m keeping up so far.
But my wife also died; I’m devastated and heartbroken.
As such I’m a wreck — always crying. I feel like I’m failing to give my dog the life I promised.
The poor dog is always having to lay down or disappear.

• A “rescue Irish Setter” is an Irish Setter rescued from a bad home; e.g. abusive or a puppy-mill. By getting a rescue-dog, I avoid puppydom, but the dog is often messed up. —Scarlett isn't bad.