If you say so!

And so another grief-share recedes into the filmy past (last night, Wednesday, August 29th).
This seemed like grief-share number six, although that’s probably wrong.
It seemed we were watching program number-seven, which makes it grief-share number-eight.
I seem to be living in the moment. My beloved wife of 44 years died of cancer April 17, 2012. I miss her dearly.
I barely exist, and my memory of past events is transitory.
So it may have been grief-share number-eight.
Few were in attendance, only five total.
And two of those were facilitators.
Which means only three participants, although the facilitators are grief-sharers too.
We watch a DVD series.
It can be boring or interesting.
Last night was somewhat boring.
A couple weeks ago was “loss of spouse.”
That was interesting.
But I don’t go to these grief-shares for the DVD program.
I go because people there understand where I’m at.
People outside the grief-share barely comprehend.
Some don’t want to talk about it; that I should just “get over it.”
I was married to that lady over 44 years, and apparently became very attached.
I can’t just “get over” her death.
The grief-sharers understand that — the devastated condition I’m in.
I try to relate this to non grief-sharers and feel like I’m talking to the wall.
Since my wife’s death many have come-and-gone, people that profess caring about me, but so far only the grief-sharers seem to understand.
Them and only one other contact, the one who got me to that grief-share in the first place.
An interesting aside took place last night at that grief-share just before I left.
A participant said I seemed better.
A facilitator agreed.
“You guys actually think I seem better?” I asked.
“You’re smiling, and are more upbeat than at first.”
“But I’m still distraught and heartbroken, and I cry a lot,” I said.
“But you’re better than you were at first.
We see it, and we’re gonna keep telling you.”
My reaction is if you say so!