Born in the USA

(Photo by BobbaLew.)

Our new Country Clipper® JAZee zero-turn lawnmower has a sticker on it which says “Made in the USA” (pictured above).
A “zero-turn” lawnmower is a special design with separate drives to each drive-wheel, so it can be spun on a dime. “Zero-turns” are becoming the norm, because they cut mowing time in half compared to a lawn-tractor, which has to be set up for each mowing-pass.
“Made in the USA” is not what sold me on the Country Clipper, but it was a pleasant surprise.
More pleasant than “Made in China by Chinese child prison-labor in steaming sweatshops.”
Or “Assembled in Mexico by laborers soon to be illegal aliens.”
Our cars are both Japanese, although I wish I could return to Chevrolet.
We had one for a while, and it was somewhat frustrating.
It went 140,000 miles, but threw curves at us occasionally.
When its air-conditioning failed we gave up.
Years ago, 1984, singer Bruce Springsteen debuted a song titled “Born in the USA.”
Lido was so smitten he wanted to use it to sell Chrysler cars.
Lido is Lee Iacocca, ex of Ford, who went on to become Chrysler's supreme leader.
“Born in the USA” was more a lament about Vietnam than a celebration of American values.
By then Chrysler was no longer the engineering triumph it had been in the '60s.
Chrysler was selling the K-car, a rather forgettable combination no one seems to collect.
Lido applied marketing tricks to make it as attractive as his Mark-series Lincolns at Ford; but underneath it was still the K-car.
Springsteen, to his everlasting credit, refused.
So is my Country Clipper worthy of Springsteen?
Probably not.
What sold me was the all-steel construction, not innovation or beauty.
“Look at the steel encasement of that engine,” I noted to the salesman. “You could back it into a phonepole.”
“Well don't do it,” the salesman laughed.
I had to burn synapses to figure it out.
It has a way of releasing the rear of the cutting-deck so it can be tipped up for cleaning and maintenance.
Released, a thick steel catch-plate trips to keep things in line.
Well, if that catch-plate isn't pulled clear, re-attaching the deck raises it all the way to its highest mowing-height setting.
There's no adjusting the mowing-height thereafter.
Nothing in that Operator's Manual about pulling clear that catch-plate.
“Try this and see what happens;” the never ending mantra of a stroke-survivor.
And what I thought was the 3.5-inch mowing-height was actually 2.5 inches. No wonder it was scalping.

• I had a stroke October 26, 1993.