Cholesterol Channel
Yesterday (Monday, May 10, 2010) the Canandaigua YMCA Exercise-Gym had another channel on one of their three wall-mounted plasma-babies.
It turned the stomach of this health-nut.
“Plasma-babies” are what my brother-in-Boston calls all high-definition, wide-screen, flat-screen TVs. Other technologies are available, but he calls all such TVs “plasma-babies.”
The Canandaigua YMCA Exercise-Gym has their wall-mounted plasma-babies usually tuned to CNN, Sports-Center, and the Weather Channel.
They are closed-captioned. No sound.
The CNN TV wasn't tuned to CNN. It was tuned to “the Food Channel;” whatever.
“Now we'll add just a little butter,” it said.
“Little” my foot! A whole quarter-pound stick of butter was tossed into a frying pan.
“'I Can't Believe It's Not Butter' is not butter,” my wife's 90+ year old aunt once declared.
“Next we'll make our crème sauce,” they said. “We'll start with our yolks.” (The yolks had been separated from eggs.)
“Needs a little sugar,” they said. They dumped a full half-cup of sugar on the yolks.
“That'll make it super-rich. We'll just whisk it up.”
“KEE-YUCK!” I thought, as I cranked away on my cardiovascular trainer.
“Do you know what that stuff will do?” I thought to myself.
“It'll clog all your arteries. You're asking for a stroke or heart-attack.
Same thing with that butter.”
“A tad of salt,” they said.
Tons of salt were poured over everything.
“Salt is the magic ingredient,” they said.
“Yeah, it also raises your blood-pressure,” I thought.
“And no matter what they say, there's nothing like real butter.
Needs a little cream too.”
A quart bottle of cream was emptied into a saucepan.
The Cholesterol Channel.
Next was chicken soup with lemon flavoring.
• I work out in the Canandaigua YMCA exercise-gym. (“Canandaigua” [“cannon-DAY-gwuh”] is a small city to the east nearby where we live in Western NY. The city is also within a rural town called “Canandaigua.” The name is Indian, and means “Chosen Spot.” —It’s about 15 miles away.)
It turned the stomach of this health-nut.
“Plasma-babies” are what my brother-in-Boston calls all high-definition, wide-screen, flat-screen TVs. Other technologies are available, but he calls all such TVs “plasma-babies.”
The Canandaigua YMCA Exercise-Gym has their wall-mounted plasma-babies usually tuned to CNN, Sports-Center, and the Weather Channel.
They are closed-captioned. No sound.
The CNN TV wasn't tuned to CNN. It was tuned to “the Food Channel;” whatever.
“Now we'll add just a little butter,” it said.
“Little” my foot! A whole quarter-pound stick of butter was tossed into a frying pan.
“'I Can't Believe It's Not Butter' is not butter,” my wife's 90+ year old aunt once declared.
“Next we'll make our crème sauce,” they said. “We'll start with our yolks.” (The yolks had been separated from eggs.)
“Needs a little sugar,” they said. They dumped a full half-cup of sugar on the yolks.
“That'll make it super-rich. We'll just whisk it up.”
“KEE-YUCK!” I thought, as I cranked away on my cardiovascular trainer.
“Do you know what that stuff will do?” I thought to myself.
“It'll clog all your arteries. You're asking for a stroke or heart-attack.
Same thing with that butter.”
“A tad of salt,” they said.
Tons of salt were poured over everything.
“Salt is the magic ingredient,” they said.
“Yeah, it also raises your blood-pressure,” I thought.
“And no matter what they say, there's nothing like real butter.
Needs a little cream too.”
A quart bottle of cream was emptied into a saucepan.
The Cholesterol Channel.
Next was chicken soup with lemon flavoring.
• I work out in the Canandaigua YMCA exercise-gym. (“Canandaigua” [“cannon-DAY-gwuh”] is a small city to the east nearby where we live in Western NY. The city is also within a rural town called “Canandaigua.” The name is Indian, and means “Chosen Spot.” —It’s about 15 miles away.)
posted by BobbaLew at 5:42 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home