U-scan follies

“Welcome to Tops! If you have a Tops Bonus-card, please scan it now.”
“Bip!”
“Welcome Tops favored customer. Please scan first item.”
“Bip!”
“Please deposit scanned item in non-recyclable plastic bag that clutters landfill 700 years.
Ah-ah-ah! Naughty-naughty!
Not in reusable shopping bag. Please deposit scanned item in non-recyclable plastic bag that clutters landfill 700 years.”
“Uh, sir,” Granny-staffer mutters, munching on a donut. “There’s a scale under them plastic bags. Ya gotta use the plastic bags.
If you wanna use your reusable bag, ya gotta wait until you’re finished, then transfer your groceries, and give your plastic bags to me.
I then toss your plastic bags to clutter the landfill 700 years.”
Reminds of the automated tram at Orlando Airport.
“Please stand clear of the doors; they are about to close. Please hold the grab-bars while tram is in motion. Welcome to the Land of Make Believe.”
Better yet are the trams at Atlanta’s airport, which years ago had the disembodied monotone synthesized voice: “please get up off the floor. Tram will not operate unless all passengers are on their feet.”

“Tops” is a large supermarket-chain based in Buffalo we sometimes buy groceries at. They have a store in Canandaigua.