utter insanity

(Have I ever left the vaunted Canandaigua YMCA without some piece of utter insanity to report?)

I am quietly blasting away on the sand-trainer.
Amazon-lady is striding around in the background: hee-ya! hee-ya! —She’s a really nice lady; I asked if her son was in an apartment at RIT that requires bus-use to get to class — nada.
The wall-mounted plasma-baby that’s usually tuned to the Weather-Channel, is instead tuned to the local NBC affiliate, WHEC Channel-10 in Rochester.
I guess it was the “Today” show, but maybe not.
Two female talking-heads were fulminating about anything-and-everything, obviously inspired by “The View.”
They were in a ground-floor studio, surrounded by glass, so that spectators could look in.
Apparently there was a monitor outside, projecting the air-feed, so that they could wave and see themselves on nationwide TV. (Memories of our feeble attempts with the mighty-Curve web-cam — although I did get Jack to see me, and got showered with a torrent of loving put-downs.)
First they interviewed a buxom Nat King Cole’s daughter displaying acres of cleavage.
Pity; the camera was cutting it off. Gotta educate them camera-operators. Hottiness is in; look at Sarah.
Then they moved on to a lithesome lassie intent on showing us how to get sexy skin from our refrigerator.
They wandered over to a pretty girl; and “You need a strawberry smoothie facial-mask.” (She didn’t need anything; and was probably over 30.)
89 bazilyun strawberries were chopped up in a blender, leaving pulpy red mush.
The advisor-lady thereupon dabbed some of this red mush on pretty-girl’s face.
I’m sorry, but it looked like garbage. Pretty-girl couldn’t help giggling.
Next was crushed pineapple and pomegranate.
“My first thought was granny’s oatmeal,” the hostess said.
Another pretty girl gets daubed with mush.
I’m sorry, but she looks like a veteran of Honor-Court after Initiation at Houghton; people swimming in chocolate Jell-o pudding, etc.
On to pretty-girl number-three.
“What we have here is a bowl of mashed pumpkin-rind.”
More dabbing of garbage on a pretty girl’s cheeks.
The camera zooms in on the pretty-girl’s face. I’m sorry, but it looks like she fell in the mud on “Wipe-Out.”

I work out in the Canandaigua YMCA exercise-gym.

The “sand-trainer” is a semi-elliptical exercise-machine that duplicates running in sand.

Amazon-Lady is a YMCA-employee. We call her that because she is extremely muscle-bound.

“RIT” is nearby Rochester Institute of Technology, a college.

“Plasma-babies” are what my loudmouthed macho brother-from-Boston calls all high-definition wide/flat-screen TVs. Other technologies beside plasma are available, but he calls them all “plasma-babies.”

The “mighty Curve” (Horseshoe Curve), west of Altoona, Pennsylvania, is by far the BEST railfan spot I have ever been to. Horseshoe Curve is a national historic site. It was a trick used by the Pennsylvania Railroad to get over the Allegheny mountains without steep grades. Horseshoe Curve was opened in 1854, and is still in use. (I am a railfan, and have been since I was a child — so I’ve been there hundreds of times.) —Horseshoe Curve has a web-cam, but it’s awful.

“Jack” is my all-knowing, blowhard brother-from-Boston, the macho ad-hominem king, who noisily badmouths everything I do or say. (He was in Boston at the time, and me at Horseshoe Curve, but he could view me on his computer via the web-cam.)

RE: “Hottiness is in; look at Sarah.....” —A loud famblee argument has surfaced about “hottie.” I follow the old definition where “hottie” equaled a slut. But all my Christian-zealot relatives loudly declare that “hottie” has become a symbol of Christian virtue and attractiveness. “Sarah” is Republican vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin.

RE: “Honor-Court after Initiation at Houghton.....” —“Houghton” is Houghton College in western New York, from where I graduated with a BA in 1966. At the beginning of the fall term, the sophomores “initiate” the freshman, and then an “Honor-Court” is held to punish the sophomores. Punishment is usually very messy.

“Wipe-Out” is the ABC-TV program Wipe-Out.