Granny alert

So here I am gaily motoring in the Bathtub down Ontario St., which is State Route 65, northwest into the nearby village of Honeoye Falls.
I’m on my way to Interstate-390 to begin a giant surfeit of errands, beginning at the Funky Food Market in deepest, darkest Henrietta, and then mighty Tops and Weggers in Canandaigua.
This will involve a jaunt on the N.Y. State Thruway, from Henrietta to Canandaigua.
About two-and-half to three hours total. I can do this because I couldn’t do the YMCA (yesterday, August 12, 2008). That was because Linda was working, and Rochester-Colonial was finishing our window replacement project.
You will recall that last summer I was noisily accused of lining the pockets of Rochester-Colonial, replacing half our first-floor windows (including the porch), all our cellar windows, and four of our seven exterior doors.
They also had to repair a water-damaged section of our porch exterior wall, where I was noisily accused of poor engineering.
A trained engineer could catch a small-time builder’s mistake of not kerreckly flashing a roof-seam. (If had actually designed this segment, I think the builder woulda pointed it out.) —I guess ya gotta be a trained engineer to stand lazily around and supervise.
—Save the day by fiddling this here site.
Same guy that pumped concrete into the stratosphere so he could “set” (“pour,” “place,” WHATEVER) the floor-slab for his museum.
I’ve yet to understand this. I’m not a tree-crushing LeTourneau lackey.
Majored in History — oh, woe is me.
Funky-Food-Market and Tops because contrary to the strident bellerings of all on this here site, mighty Wal*Mart doesn’t have everything, like Arrowhead-Mills puffed rice by the case, or east-coast peaches (I think they’re from Pennsylvania).
Proof yet again that I’m eating the wrong things.
Wal*Mart does have giant bags of salt-laden Cheetos, breakfast of champions.

About 200 yards ahead Granny is pulled off in her baby-blue metallic Chevy Malibu, four-way flashers on.
She’s waiting for soccer-mom to pull her giant navy Montana minivan out onto Ontario St.
I proceed.
About 50 yards in front of me, soccer-mom completes her move.
I’m doing about 35 mph, the speed-limit.
Suddenly, about 20 yards in front of me, Granny pulls out, four-ways off.
Did she even look? Not that I could see — I almost hit her.
Apparently her sign to pull out was soccer-mom; I didn’t exist.
Sorry chillen; no Dubya-sticker.

“The Bathtub” is our 2005 Toyota Sienna van; called that because it’s white and like sitting in a bathtub.

We live on “State Route 65” in West Bloomfield, N.Y., near the village of Honeoye Falls.

“The funky food-market” is Lori’s Natural Foods, south of Rochester in Henrietta — a source for salt-free cereal, sauce, etc.

“Weggers” is Wegmans, a large supermarket-chain based in Rochester we often buy groceries at. They have a store in Canandaigua. Tops is a large supermarket-chain based in Buffalo; and also has a store in Canandaigua.

I work out in the Canandaigua YMCA exercise-gym.

“Linda” is my wife of 40+ years. Like me she’s retired, but she works part-time at the West Bloomfield post-office.

RE: “I was noisily accused of lining the pockets of Rochester-Colonial........” —My blowhard macho brother-in-Boston asserted I was being fleeced — that his window-replacement cost about one-third what we paid. Although I doubt he did as many windows, and probably didn’t do equal quality. He also wasn’t replacing exterior doors.

RE: “Noisily accused of poor engineering.....” —My blowhard macho brother-in-Boston claimed the reason there was water-damage, was because I had designed the house — which is WRONG. All I designed is the floorplan and appearance. We had an architect, and house-construction was per the experience of the builder. So it was the builder’s mistake; that is, his crew. —My brother claims I am entirely clueless regarding construction; that he has superior knowledge, because he was trained as an engineer at LeTourneau University in Texas.

Our building-contractor had only built a few houses before ours, and had never built a nuclear generating station; therefore making him “small-time” to my blowhard macho brother-in-Boston.

My blowhard macho brother-in-Boston claims to have “saved the day” hundreds of times; and spends an inordinate amount of time fiddling our family’s web-site while at work. (“Here I am to save the day......”)

RE: “Pumped concrete into the stratosphere.....” —For some reason my blowhard macho brother-in-Boston used a concrete-pump over his house to pour the floor-slab for a garage-addition. Probably so he could take a picture and boast he wasn’t doing “small-time” construction.

RE: “set” (“pour,” “place,” WHATEVER....) —My blowhard macho brother-in-Boston excoriates me for using the wrong terminology for concrete-placement. The kerreck terminology is “place;” although our concrete-contractor “poured” the floor-slab for our shed.

My blowhard macho brother-in-Boston keeps his restored classic 1971 454 Chevelle in a heated garage he calls his “museum.”

RE: “Tree-crushing LeTourneau lackey....” —LeTourneau University in Texas was founded by R.G. LeTourneau, who has among his inventions a giant tree-crusher. (“Ain’t nuthin’ ya can’t do with the faith of a mustard-seed and a tanker-load of diesel!” His solution to the ozone-hole was giant ducts to pump surface ozone up to the stratosphere.)

At Houghton College in western New York, I graduated with a BA in 1966. I’ve never regretted it. Houghton is a religious liberal-arts college. I majored in History; therefore making me inferior.

RE: “Contrary to the strident bellerings of all on this here site, mighty Wal*Mart doesn’t have everything.....” —All my siblings are confirmed Wal*Mart shoppers, and claim “Wal*Mart has everything;” and that I should agree that Wal*Mart is the greatest store in the entire universe, and blessed by God. “This here site” refers to our family’s web-site; on which I am disgusting; worse yet a “liberial Democrat” instead of REPUBLICAN, like them. “Liberial” is my brother’s misspelling of “liberal,” which he claims is kerreck.

My blowhard macho brother-in-Boston is a Cheeto junkie.

“Dubya-sticker” is a Bush-Cheney 2004 bumper-sticker. All insane traffic-moves seem to involve Bush-supporters. They seem to think they have the right.