Engineers’ dream-world

Example number one:
-So here we are motoring placidly towards deepest, darkest De Land, Floridy, headed towards Linda’s mother in the shadow of the mighty De Land water-tower, in our humble Hertz rental Corolla.
We have our lighted “engineers’ dream-world” sign in the window, because our GPS is doing the driving.
On 17/92, it takes us past the spot where I tossed the MapQuest directions in the back seat, then one block further, and illegally turns right onto a one-way street against traffic.
Granny, utterly confused and unable to see our “get-outta-jail-free” engineers’ dream-world sign, crashes her white LeSabre head-on into our Corolla.
As the EMS personnel, assembled police and fire-rescue, extracting our limp bodies from the smoking Corolla, observe: “it was Granny’s fault (foult); she didn’t properly regard the engineers’ dream-world sign.”
NO WAY would a GPS make a mistake in the engineers’ dream-world.

Example number-two:
We are zooming toward a bridge over the Erie Canal that has collapsed into the drink despite engineers noisily pronouncing it safe.
I want to stop, but our GPS is doing the driving.
Ker-Sploop! Our car arrows into the Erie Canal, dutifully following the driving-instructions of our vaunted GPS.
“NO WAY could a GPS make a mistake,” our rescuers say; “not in the engineers’ dream-world.”
(Woops! What was that all about? My cellphone just made a strange beep. I had it off, but it says it’s on. —Must be our ISP.”)

This whole thing is a response to my macho blowhard brother-in-Boston loudly claiming there is NO WAY I could deal with a talking GPS — which we already have.

“Linda” is my wife of nearly 40 years.

“Shadow of the mighty De Land water-tower” is where my wife’s 91-year-old mother lives, in a retirement community in “the shadow of the mighty DeLand water-tower” in De Land, Florida. We visit occasionally, and once were using MapQuest instructions to get our rental Corolla to her place. I tossed the instructions when they wanted me to make an illegal turn onto a one-way street. “17/92” is U.S. Routes 17 and 92, both on the same road, north-south through De Land.

RE: “Engineers’ dream-world......” My loudmouthed macho brother-from-Boston was trained as an engineer, and claims superiority. I majored in History, so am inferior.

RE: “Foult......” For years my brother-in-Delaware and I have been having an argument about the spelling of “Foulk” Road. When we moved there in 1957 it was spelled “Faulk.” He noisily insists it’s always been spelled with an “O.”

RE: “Bridge over the Erie Canal that has collapsed into the drink despite engineers noisily pronouncing it safe.....” refers to the collapse of the I-35W bridge in Minneapolis.

RE: “Must be our ISP!” ISP equals Internet-Service-Provider; in our case RoadRunner via the cable. Last July my macho, blowhard brother-from-Boston visited, and set up a wireless Internet connection to my router. His Internet reception was spotty, so he loudly blamed our Internet-Service-Provider (ISP). Now anything untoward is due to my ISP.