surfeit of signage
The vaunted Canandaigua YMCA is awash in a surfeit of signage.
Not permanent-looking professional signage by that little old sign-maker.
But rather signs made by the staff on the office-‘pyooter with sign-making software printed with an inkjet onto 8&1/2 by 11 inch sheets of typewriter-paper, and affixed with two-sided tape.
The background of these signs is always overlaid with a semi-opaque layer of gray toner, and the letters smudge if they get wet.
The most notorious of these signs is the one on a door saying “this is not a door.”
Sounds like REPUBLICANS were at work here!
If it isn’t a door, what is it?
Sure looks like a door.
Another classic is the two signs on the men’s locker-room door; actually a combo.
Affixed to the door is a professional-looking signmaker sign saying “Please keep door closed.”
Right beneath it is a
‘pyooter-sign saying “Please open door slowly.”
HMMMMMMMNNNNNNNNNN..........
I already have violated sign number-one innumerable times. The onliest way to get into that there locker-room is to open the door.
So the question becomes, how does one open a door that’s supposed to be kept closed?
Other signs fall into what I call the “Yes, Mother” category: “—Please flush toilet after using;” “—Do not spit or deposit gum into water-fountain;” and “—No food in this area, as it only feeds the ants that dine at our facility.”
A graphic of large ants pigging out on a cheese sandwich is on this sign.
Most signs are reasonable admonitions: “—Follow Nautilus-circuit in order. Do not jump ahead;” “—20-minute limit on aerobic machines if busy;” “—Do not directly spray equipment. Spray paper-towel;” and “—Do not stand on radiators to open windows. Ask front-desk for assistance.”
There also is an admonition to not use the same sneakers you walked in with on the exercise equipment. Salt damages.
Other signs are more ordinary: “—Staff kitchen. Staff only;” and “—Washroom. Custodians only.”
Heaven forbid the head of the Canandaigua YMCA access that washroom. He might lose his job.
Not permanent-looking professional signage by that little old sign-maker.
But rather signs made by the staff on the office-‘pyooter with sign-making software printed with an inkjet onto 8&1/2 by 11 inch sheets of typewriter-paper, and affixed with two-sided tape.
The background of these signs is always overlaid with a semi-opaque layer of gray toner, and the letters smudge if they get wet.
The most notorious of these signs is the one on a door saying “this is not a door.”
Sounds like REPUBLICANS were at work here!
If it isn’t a door, what is it?
Sure looks like a door.
Another classic is the two signs on the men’s locker-room door; actually a combo.
Affixed to the door is a professional-looking signmaker sign saying “Please keep door closed.”
Right beneath it is a
‘pyooter-sign saying “Please open door slowly.”
HMMMMMMMNNNNNNNNNN..........
I already have violated sign number-one innumerable times. The onliest way to get into that there locker-room is to open the door.
So the question becomes, how does one open a door that’s supposed to be kept closed?
Other signs fall into what I call the “Yes, Mother” category: “—Please flush toilet after using;” “—Do not spit or deposit gum into water-fountain;” and “—No food in this area, as it only feeds the ants that dine at our facility.”
A graphic of large ants pigging out on a cheese sandwich is on this sign.
Most signs are reasonable admonitions: “—Follow Nautilus-circuit in order. Do not jump ahead;” “—20-minute limit on aerobic machines if busy;” “—Do not directly spray equipment. Spray paper-towel;” and “—Do not stand on radiators to open windows. Ask front-desk for assistance.”
There also is an admonition to not use the same sneakers you walked in with on the exercise equipment. Salt damages.
Other signs are more ordinary: “—Staff kitchen. Staff only;” and “—Washroom. Custodians only.”
Heaven forbid the head of the Canandaigua YMCA access that washroom. He might lose his job.
posted by BobbaLew at 11:05 AM
1 Comments:
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