April-Fool

-The New-Balance running shoes I ordered online came today (Wednesday, April 4, 2007), size 6-EEEE, a special-order, meaning I can toss all my utterly reprehensible Asics running-shoes. I humblee bow to the superior wisdom of my brother-in-Delaware, who thinks that since New-Balance works well for him, they should work well for me; even though I road-tested New-Balance before and threw them out because they fit like swim-fins.
-I purchased a tube of Crest toothpaste, and a bottle of Scope mouthwash; meaning I can toss My Act and Colgate, and never use them again. I hereby humblee bow to the superior wisdom of my brother in West Bridgewater, and hope that I can guzzle as much Scope as him — and thereby become intellectually superior; although not as much as him, of course.
-I’ve sold the Honda snowblower. Put it out at the curb, sold it, and purchased a proper Ariens from mighty Wal*Mart (What’s $5 in gas and a 30-minute side-trip?).
-Rode the dreaded LHMB to Cycle-Stop, a Harley-store in deepest, darkest Henrietta. Traded it for a “GeezerGlide.” I specifically asked for a “GeezerGlide,” and they sold me one. Had them install glittering marker-lights on the handlebars.
-Tossed my Verizon (Version?) cell-phone in Canandaigua lake, and went to the NexTel store.
-Also deep-sixed this here MAC tower (I’m driving Linda’s rig), and ordered a Dell PC online, with Windoze XP.
-I have become a tub-thumping REPUBLICAN (FRONTAL-LOBOTOMY ALERT). Decided Dubya is the best prez we ever had; even better than Ronaldus Maximus.
-But most important of all; I glommed 14 hard-boiled eggs for breakfast. No more funky-food.

I’m told by my all-knowing younger brothers that all of my choices are WRONG: e.g. WRONG running-shoes; WRONG toothpaste and mouthwash; WRONG snowblower; WRONG motorbike (i.e. not a Harley; the greatest motorbike in the entire universe); WRONG cell-phone service; WRONG ‘pyooter-platform (the MAC is a mere tinker-toy); WRONG politics; and above-all, WRONG breakfast-food.”

The “dreaded LHMB” (Lord-Have-Mercy-Banana) is my motorbike, a yellow Honda CBR600RR.

“Linda’s rig” is her laptop PC. Linda is my wife.

My brother-in-Boston noisily insists the kerreck spelling of “Verizon” is “Version.”

My brother-in-Delaware claims he gloms hard-boiled eggs for breakfast while driving to work at 152 mph [his turbocharged Volvo will do 152 mph]. He cooks up 14 hard-boiled eggs in advance.