This is all new to me

—“What day is it?” I ask myself.
“What lady-friend do I entertain today?”
Seems it’s a different lady-friend every day of the week.
—If it’s Monday it might be *****, head-honcho of my pharmacy in Honeoye Falls.
***** is not gorgeous, but she’s pretty enough to scare me off years ago.
She also was scarier then, but happier now; and I tell her that.
***** is probably the first attractive lady I befriended.
“No pretty lady will ever befriend you!” And now ***** and I are friends.
Mainly it’s TALK. She seems to like talking with me.
She’ll bounce away from her workstation so we can talk. Often she’ll repeat what she said to me before, but it’s only so we can begin talking.
I could be bored, but we’re talking to each other — and she’s a pretty lady.
I think pretty ones like her have it hardest; they’re always being pursued by some hot-to-trot lothario.
Yrs Trly is no longer on-the hunt. I can talk with a pretty girl without scaring her to death.
And it seems what pretty girls never get is actually talking to some guy without being pursued. I.e. talking as equals.
—If it’s Tuesday it’s the “temperature-ladies” outside Thompson Hospital’s Physical-Therapy department per COVID-19.
One “temperature-lady” is ******, extremely pretty, prettier than gorgeous, but “gorgeous” is also a smiler.
****** is extremely pretty, but she doesn’t have the eyes her sidekick has.
And unfortunately I am an eye-man. ****** attracted me at first, but then her sidekick showed up. (That sidekick’s eyes were gorgeous.)
I hope I can tell that sidekick someday, but I have other lady-friends at that hospital, and I don’t wanna hurt their feelings.
**** always smiles when I say hello, but she’s plain.
Nevertheless her smile is ravishing.
Often **** and pretty-eyes are in the same reception area.
—Wednesday is my aquatic balance-training class at Canandaigua’s YMCA swimming-pool.
I get to strike sparks with *****, my pretty lifeguard friend at that swimming-pool.
I always feel intimidated because she’s rather impressive. But she seems to wanna talk with me.
She’s 65 years old, but still fairly attractive. She looks like she’s in her late 40s on her lifeguard stand.
She’s been there every Wednesday for weeks, ever since I restarted aquatic balance-training.
It’s almost like she wants to be there — I don’t think she has to be.
What a joy it is to talk with *****. It’s no longer romance; we’re way beyond that.
All we do is talk and laugh.
She is female, which reverses “no female will ever enjoy you!”
It’s like how in the world did I ever befriend *****? I feel unworthy, but that’s my hoary childhood resurfacing.
—If the weather were more accommodating on Thursday I might drive up to Lehigh Valley RailTrail to walk my imaginary dog I lost to cancer six months ago.
People wonder why always Lehigh Valley RailTrail.
“Because that’s where the pretty ladies are,” I say.
“Better than bar-hopping,” some guy told me once.
I shuffle along, and HERE SHE COMES: some gorgeous cutie-pie or pretty young jogger.
I strike up a conversation, and the girl is thrilled: “a guy is talking to me, and he’s not trying to win me as a trophy!”
We talk and laugh, and finally “I gotta keep going; errands await!”
The girl saddens because we gotta stop talking. I’ve seen it happen.
“I hope we meet again,” she says.
“Me, the lifelong scumbag?” I think to myself.
“No pretty girl will ever enjoy your company!”
And of course the girl is completely unknown to me. We’re starting from scratch. No baggage.
They smile and smile and smile at me, and “No pretty lady will smile at you!”
Can I maintain good vibes like that with my known lady friends?
Make ‘em laugh, don’t hit on ‘em, just shoot the breeze.
Being friends with a female is also thrilling to me.
“No lady will have anything to do with you!”
—Friday is another visit to Canandaigua’s YMCA swimming-pool.
It’s not a class; it’s called “water-walking,” just sloshing around in the swimming-pool.
No *****, but usually I see my aquacise-instructor, who has another class prior to water-walking.
I hafta be careful. I made a lotta mistakes with that aquacise-instructor, mainly being romantically interested. She’s cute, and was the first pretty lady to seem interested in me.
My complete inexperience with women made me goof up royally.
Nevertheless, I enjoy talking with her, which can’t be often, since she’s usually busy. ***** is just lifeguarding.
Maybe someday I can reestablish friendship with that aquacise-instructor.
Friendship with any lady was utterly beyond imagining. “No lady will ever be friends with you, Bobby!”
—Saturday: go to Weggers in Canandaigua to purchase groceries for the following week.
That chances two female encounters: —1) I might meet ******, the girl I called “pigtail-girl.”
She’s a Wegmans produce employee, and wears her long dirty-blonde hair in pigtails.
She’s a big sturdy girl, but when she smiles at me she’s a cute little thing.
She uses those funky black mascara chips on her eyelids, which I disregard when her eyes twinkle.
I struck up a conversation with her once when she appeared without pigtails.
Now it’s just “I recognize you, and I think you know who I am. Happy to see ya!”
All we do is say hello and smile at each other.
—2) I never can escape that store without striking sparks with some pretty lady.
“Gotta say hello to her,” I say to myself. “Her eyes are gorgeous.”
No one has smacked me yet, and so many blush when I tell them they have pretty eyes.
“You are so sweet!” one whispered, softly caressing my arm.
“Why thank you!” ladies gush. Many thank you’s, and many blushes.
Tell ‘em; let ‘em know!
Ladies seems thrilled some guy liked their eyes.
—Sunday-Sunday-Sunday: Lehigh Valley RailTrail again — chancing encounter with a lady I met before.
“You look familiar,” I say. “Did we meet along here a few days ago?” I ask.
That lady is thrilled I found her attractive enough to say something — that I recognized her.
What’s happening here is 70+ years late I am finding that friendship with women can be so enjoyable.
“No pretty lady will ever be friends with you” was BUNK!

• RE: “Temperature-ladies…….” —In the lobby next to Thompson Hospital’s Physical-Therapy department are two ladies per COVID-19. One interviews you, and/or the other takes your temperature. I call ‘em the “temperature-ladies.”
• “Weggers” is Wegmans, a large supermarket-chain based in Rochester where I often buy groceries. They have a store in Canandaigua.