The art of conversation

—“I’m hoping sometime today we can talk about (whatever).”
“I hope sometime I can tell you the (whatever) story. Not right now; it might take a while. Sometime I hope.”
“Can I say hello? Happy to see ya!”
Analysis time, readers.
What am I doing here?
I’m not shoving some story on that lady outta the clear blue sky.
I’m asking her permission; I’m not pushing myself on her.
Positive contact, with hopes it rubs off on her — and it looked like last Wednesday it did.
Every time I say hello to a pretty lady is a gamble = it may crash in flames: “not that Hughes guy again, UGH!”
But not saying anything to her is avoiding her. Hesitant or not, I don’t want that.
I have a lady friend at Thompson Hospital’s Physical-Therapy department; she’s a receptionist. I always say hello to her because every time I do she smiles at me.
Which means I damn well better. If I don’t she’s gonna wonder why I didn’t.
I would be making her sad, and every time I say hello to her our eyes meet and she smiles at me.
“DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! Say something to her; don’t let her down! Let her know you’re glad you saw her!”
Doing that will make you both happy.
I have a lady friend who lifeguards Canandaigua’s YMCA swimming-pool. She’s married, but somehow or other we became friends.
We talk and laugh at each other, and I make it a point to wave hello to her when I first check in at that YMCA.
To do that I have to knock on the glass that separates the pool from the YMCA lobby. Doing that is rather gauche.
Do I, or don’t I? It might turn her off, and I don’t want that.
She looks a little bored, but “DO IT! DO IT! DO IT,” the little voice says; “knock on the glass if you hafta; don’t be scared. You’ve done it before! Go ahead and make a fool yourself to get her attention!”
Thankfully I didn’t hafta knock on the glass last Wednesday. Our eyes met and we waved at each other; and I think I saw her smile a little.
“See that?” the little voice says. “It looks like your gamble made her happy; and if you hadn’t done it she might think you were avoiding her. Which woulda been a much more serious crash.
Hundreds killed, and your friendship with that pretty lifeguard utterly destroyed.
“Take the risk!” my bereavement-counselor exclaims. “If you make a fool of yourself to get her attention,” the little voice says; “she might like it.” (Reprising Dustin Hoffman in a final scene of “The Graduate.”)
RE: “I’m hoping sometime today we can talk about (whatever)………”
In talking to women — any sex really — I noticed it makes sense to plant the seed first.
Diving straight into a topic never works: “Huh?” “Pardon me?” Your listener is lost.
You’re making them think about something they know nothing about — and suddenly.
Repeat and explain equals boredom.
If I give a lady my topic in advance, it prepares her to listen. It also makes her wanna know what’s on my mind.
Don’t do that, and the lady tunes out.
I also noticed if I say “we’ll talk later,” the lady wants now.
If I say “you might have things you prefer to do,” she says “they can wait.”
I’ve given her the option of not listening to me. Giving her that option is friendlier than pushing myself on her.
RE: “Can I say hello?”
It’s only an opening line, but often it’s led to “yada-yada-yada-yada-yada-yada!”
“I can’t leave without saying hello to *****.”
BOINK! She bounces up from her workstation toward me so we can talk.
Women love talking. Give ‘em a chance and the one stopping us is me.
“We could talk forever, but errands await!”
Call this the art of conversation. Let your listener talk too; don’t push yourself on her!
70+ years late I learn all this. Let ‘em talk, and I gain another lady friend.
The simple exchange of emotions back-and-forth. Talk-talk-talk-talkity-talk!
I see ladies walking together and talking to each other. If it’s me striking up a conversation, it’s “YIPPEE, a guy wants to talk to me, and he’s not hitting on me!”
I’ve had it happen.