The Facebook “Message” I won’t send

No falls! (I could hang onto my snowblower [visible in garage].) (iPhone photo by BobbaLew.)

—Below is the “Message” I won’t send to a Facebook “friend” for reasons I’ll explain later:

“Some time ago, after tests, my neurologist diagnosed neuropathy. It’s not diabetic neuropathy, since my doctor says I don’t have diabetes.
Thompson Physical Therapy says the reason my balance is bad is because of neuropathy. I still feel pain, like if I stub my toe.
I can’t say Thompson’s assessment is correct. All I know is I stagger a lot more than others in our class.
Thompson PT said they can’t cure neuropathy. All they can do is give me tools to counter it.
I hardly fall any more. But that seems to be from using the “tools,” and strengthening (“homework” they gave me).
My major “tool” is to hang onto something: Killian, a wall, my snowblower, and you the other day pretending you were Killian.
Take that away and I start tipping over, staggering to compensate. No falls blowing out my large driveway; I had a snowblower to hang onto.
It seems like my neuropathy worsened. Years ago I’d try the gazebo steps (Kershaw), but not any more. Any step is too erratic, especially no hands.”

Explaining:
—I do aquatic balance training in the Canandaigua YMCA’s swimming-pool, two hour classes per week — plus a third hour on my own. I been doin’ it around three years.
This “message” is to them.
—Neuropathy is poor nerve communication to-and-from-one’s feet.
—“Killian” is my crazy Irish Setter. I still walk him.
—I also tried dry-land balance-training in Thompson Hospital’s Physical-Therapy in Canandaigua.
—The “gazebo steps” are into a gazebo at Canandaigua’s Kershaw Park. Four concrete steps, no railing.

I won’t send this “message” for two reasons:
—1) It exceeds the average length of a Facebook “message” by almost 200 words.
I have two friends of similar verbosity. One is an old college classmate who occasionally e-mails me 300-400 words. (His most recent was 716 words.)
The other was a girl who found me on Facebook. She was two college classes behind me. Occasionally she “messages” me 200-300 words.
I enjoy reading both. My aquacise-instructors are not word-geeks. Exceed 100 words and they’ll probably zone out.
Some of us are word-generators. That’s especially true in my case, since I write all-too-well, and lock up face-to-face. That’s aphasia, minor for me, a stroke-effect.
—2) The other problem is my “message” is too negative. I don’t wanna hurt feelings.
But I think my neuropathy contributes to my wonky balance as much as, if not more than, my negativity.

• I had a stroke October 26th, 1993 from an undiagnosed heart-defect since repaired. It slightly compromised my speech. (Difficulty finding and putting words together = aphasia.)