Oh, the hoops!

—My cousin Patsy passed away. She was four years older than me, and one of my Uncle Bill’s eight children.
My Uncle Bill’s name was actually Ethelbert, but the family called him “Bill.” He was first-born.
I have only three cousins on my father’s side. Two are still alive. My mother came from a big family, and her brothers and sisters had many children. I have forty-or-so cousins on my mother’s side. Forty is probably wrong, but there are so many I lost count.
I’m the oldest of seven, four of which are still alive. A brother died of leukemia in 1953, and was quickly replaced by another brother who had Down Syndrome. He died at age-14 in 1968. Why seems secret.
The classiest thing my parents did was refuse to institutionalize him. He was brought home, and this was back when most mentally-retarded children were institutionalized (born in 1954).
“I can’t do that, Thomas,” said my mother. “He’s my flesh-and-blood.”
I and a sister slightly younger than me, constitute what I call “the first wave.” That sister died of pancreatic cancer eight years ago.
The “second wave” is my brother who died in 1953, plus my Down Syndrome brother.
A third and final wave exists. I have two brothers born in 1957 and 1958, plus a sister born in 1961. I was 17 when she was born, and to a small extent I was father to that final wave.
By then my parents were worn out; but then I was off to college, then out on-my-own and married. That third wave had to grow up without my presence.
Patsy was also from a big family. Many were older than her. There were only a few of my Uncle Bill’s children I knew. One was Patsy, and others were my cousin Judy, my age, and my cousin Denny, younger than me.
Patsy’s passing was announced on Facebook, unknowable to non-Facebookers.
I have a Facebook, but don’t do much with it. I only have 59 “friends,” and rarely do I look at my “home-page.”
My brother-in-Boston (1957) refuses to have a Facebook, but his wife has one. I do so little with Facebook, yet my siblings use Facebook to communicate, so I’m often outta-the-loop.
A nephew and his wife had a baby, and I didn’t know until that baby was age-three. My fault, of course. The birth was announced via Facebook, and I rarely look at my home-page.
If my brother-in-Boston knew about it his wife told him.
My contact with Facebook is through Facebook e-mail notifications. “View on Facebook,” it says. I click that and my browser triggers Facebook.
This is when the hoop-jumping began.
My default browser is Firefox, and apparently Facebook, in its infinite wisdom, decided to no longer program for Firefox.
Okay, switch to Apple’s Safari, which I also have, but it’s not default. Which means copy the Facebook address from Firefox, then paste it into Safari’s address-window.
Since Firefox is my default browser, a Facebook e-mail notification kicks off Firefox. “Oh yeah,” I say, having watched wheels spin going nowhere.
“Gotta use Safari.” Facebook’s e-mail notification was only a few words, and was to a group-site = our family. Clicking “see more” elicited more wheel-spinning = Facebook via Firefox.
The post seemed important. Although that three-year-old baby was important too, but I wasn’t notified.
That coulda been Facebook’s secret algorithm, which limits what I see on Facebook. I only have 59 “friends,” not thousands, but only get notifications for a few. Apparently my remaining sister makes the cut, as does my 1958 brother.
Usually when I go to Facebook, I’m not looking at my “home-page.” But only via that home-page can I open my family’s group site. Patsy’s passing was announced on that group site. Guile-and cunning here = fire up home-page under Safari.
Finally, after an hour dorking around, plus with what gray-matter remains, my cousin Patsy was announced as gone. I had to jump all over creation. The average 75-year-old woulda given up!
And who knows how many cousins died when I do so little with Facebook?

• A “default” Internet-browser is the one links fire up. I have both Safari and Firefox, but Firefox is default. —Since Facebook is the browser-link I most often see, I’m considering making Safari default. Although I would continue to most use Firefox.
• RE: “What gray-matter remains.....” —I had a stroke October 26th, 1993 from an undiagnosed heart-defect since repaired. It killed a portion of my brain.