Amazonian Madness

—“So tell me, Mr. Hughes, what is your issue?”
That was “Customer-Service” at Amazon, an actual American: I was amazed!
“What you guys call ‘issues,’” I said; “I call ‘problems.’”
I was reflecting my frustration. Every time I try anything with Amazon, I get madness.
I apparently have two Amazon accounts, one with my old MyWay e-mail address (BobbaLew25@MyWay.com), which I no longer use. The second is my current e-mail (RHughes3@rochester.rr.com). I have passwords based on my old RTS badge-number. Nothing works with either account — I never can get on.
My brother-in-law suggested I “change password” for one of the accounts, and no longer use the other. I would “change password” for RHughes3@rochester.rr.com.
I’ve done this before, but easier said than done. This is Amazon: the fount of utter insanity.
Amazon’s service-rep said I couldn’t do that. “Just open a third account with RHughes3@rochester.rr.com.
Goodbye!” End of service-call. Back to his day-long donut-break.
Okay, fire up Amazon on this laptop. “Are you sure you wanna open a new account with RHughes3@rochester.rr.com? We already have one with that address.”
“HUH?” Service-rep is off glomming donuts. It’s just me and this laptop.
“If you click ‘yes’ that closes the other account.” Not sure that’s what it said, but I clicked ‘yes.’
Okay, continue setting up new account, I guess. It wants a “master password” to do that.
“HUH again!” My new password won’t be the master password — or is it? I sure don’t know a “master password.” Didn’t know there was such a thing.
I tried my old RTS badge-number. That worked! I guess it’s my so-called “master password.”
Fill in account info: cellphone number, street address, etc. Then do a new password.
Do it a second time to verify password.
Invisible of course, and stroke-survivors do mistypes.
“NAUGHTY-NAUGHTY! There was a problem.” —Don’t you mean “issue?”
For crying out loud! All I’m tryin’ to do is online order some cereal. Almost an hour so far with Amazon. Wal*Mart takes five minutes, but they’re outta stock.
I gave up. Amazon “Customer-Service” some other day. It won’t be the first time I used something other than Amazon to online order my cereal. (It’s worth the extra cost.)
I did just that. I was online ordering a physical-therapy brace, and they offered the cereal I wanted. Oh why not? Amazon loses yet again.

• RE: “Old RTS badge-number...” —RTS equals Regional Transit Service, the public transit-bus operator in Rochester, NY, where I drove transit-bus for 16&1/2 years. My “badge-number” was my employee-number.
• I had a stroke October 26th, 1993 from an undiagnosed heart-defect since repaired. I pretty much recovered. Just tiny detriments, like sloppy keyboarding. I can pass for never having had a stroke.