“Yer backlit”

One would think after almost 75 years on this planet Yr Fthfl Srvnt woulda deduced sometimes it’s best to just SHADDUP.
Guilty as charged! It’s my newly found pleasure of “just say it.”
The other morning I tried to say hello to a new female friend at my local YMCA. It fell flat, or so it seemed. In other words, don’t be so cocky.
Cockiness counters my Sunday-School Superintendent neighbor, and my hyper-religious parents, convincing me all men, including me at age 6-8, are disgusting. With my parents I was also rebellious and of-the-Devil.
I was walking my new rescue Irish Setter at Kershaw Park north of Canandaigua Lake, and I came upon a young dude photographing his girlfriend.
The girl was embarrassed, but “stand over here and lean on that pier-railing.” The dude had a “point-and-shoot.” Usually I just unholster my iPhone and call it the best camera I ever owned.
I also have a Nikon D7000 digital. More than a point-and-shoot, but I use many of its automatic features.
But my iPhone camera is even more automatic, so hardly any technical input is required. It has so much depth-of-field — down to inches — I don’t have to focus. Exposure settings are also automatic. With minimal light I can avoid flash.
Dude’s girlfriend had the sun behind her. “Yer backlit,” I said. “Yer gonna lose her face.
“89 bazilyun megapixels!” the dude grumbled. But I know what will happen. Shoot a backlit train and my picture is junk. The locomotive will be in shadow. I might be able to save that picture with Photoshop, but it’s better to be aware of lighting.
What I forgot is young studs, or thems that wanna be, brook no advice. “I’m completely in control.” Sounds like gumint. Has there ever been some disaster our leaders didn’t expect?
Both sides seem guilty. I, on the other hand, live a life of continuing disasters: water, milk, and/or cereal find the floor, my dog pukes on the rug, tires go flat, etc. Things that wouldn’t happen if I kowtowed to gumint wisdom.
So the next time I see someone initiating something I know won’t work.... “Let it go, everything’s under control.” And the next time someone wants me to shoot-the-breeze, I’ll consider it.
Faire Hilda, my neighbor Sunday-School Superintendent, triumphs. But the next minute she’s spinning in her grave. Some pretty young girl is jawing with me.
Guess what Hilda, she wants to. A “slattern,” no doubt.

• I was fond of “slut,” but like “slattern” better. (Maybe I should use “trollop.”)
• My new dog, “Killian,” is a “rescue Irish-setter.” He’s nine, and is my seventh Irish-Setter, a very lively dog. A “rescue Irish setter” is usually an Irish Setter rescued from a bad home; e.g. abusive or a puppy-mill — or perhaps its owner died. (Killian was a divorce victim.) By getting a rescue-dog I avoid puppydom, but the dog is often messed up. —Killian was fine. He’s my fifth rescue.
• RE: “trains” and “locomotives......” —I’m a railfan, and have been since age-2. I publish an annual calendar of train-pictures my brother and I took.
• “Hilda” is Hilda Q. Walton, founder and leader of the vaunted “Hilda Q. Walton School of Sexual-Relations.” The “Q” stood for Quincy, her maiden name.