No TV
“Yer talking to a stroke-survivor,” I told the service-rep at my cable-TV and Internet provider.
“I may hafta have you repeat, or I may hafta repeat myself. I may have difficulty getting words out. It’s called “aphasia,” a stroke-effect. It can be so bad a stroke-victim can’t speak. With me it’s slight.
I’m not angry. It’s just aphasia.”
“Oh that’s okay, Mr. Hughes.” If I tell contacts in advance I get understanding instead of anger.
“So what is yer problem?”
“No TV,” I said.
Wheels began turning. Not the first time. I had it happen before. I have a DVR-box, their equipment, on which I record the local and national news. That’s all I ever watch. I watch during supper, which I may not get to until 9 p.m. My tiny TV is on my dinner-table. Mega-dollars are in this computer equipment.
I went to watch the news the other night, and all I got was a blank screen. Plus my DVR-box wasn’t displaying the lighted icons I usually see.
“Uh-oh.... What did I do wrong this time? Can I watch the train video I have in my old ‘analog’ (?) video-recorder?” I could, but the DVR-box video output was blank.
I called the cable-company; their DVR-box came with a remote replete with 89 bazilyun buttons I rarely use.
“I’ll send a signal from my end, and see if that gets it,” the service-rep said. At the Mighty Mezz we called this “a kick-in-the-pants.” The Messenger was partially computerized by then, and our Windoze PC liked to hang delaying publication.
Our computer-lady appeared to administer the “kick-in-the-pants,” which was a “restart” I think, but may have been a full “re-boot.” But my DVR-box wasn’t being re-booted. No idea what “the signal” was, but still a blank screen.
“I guess we gotta re-boot yer DVR-box,” the girl said. “I’d like to fix this before you hang up.” First everything off. My remote wouldn’t kill my DVR-box, only its power-button would. (At least I didn’t hafta pull the plug — some Messenger computers required that.)
Time was passing. Already up to 30 minutes. Lawn awaits, as does my nap.
Re-boot began. Eight or nine lights on my TV hafta all slowly go green. Then a long 10-to-1 countdown begins. “Yer TV will be with you shortly.” —Approaching an hour.
Finally images appeared on my TV: Dr. Phil with his latest child-abuse victim. But it wasn’t the local ABC affiliate.
Stabbing around: “Guide,” “Menu,” etc. Trying to finagle with someone 25 miles away. Dr. Phil parrying teary fat-ladies, and fisticuffs among clients. Or “On-Demand” with a screen which may lead to programs I never view.
First this, then that, then “try this and see what happens.”
Finally “Wait a minute!” = indicating I had enough.
“Lemme try something here,” I said. I had video, so I tried the “Menu” button, then I scrolled down to “DVR,” what I usually do to get my recorded news.
There it was, the previous day’s Lester Holt. Almost two hours total; maybe 40 minutes of dorking around.
“You did good,” I told the service-rep. “A stroke-survivor born in the wrong century.”
“You may get a follow-up survey. You can relate that if you wish.”
Maybe an hour later I got a voicemail from that cable-provider. “Key ‘one’ on yer phone to take the survey.”
Lost! If there’s an iPhone way of doing that from voicemail I don’t know it. “1” on my keypad calls Alexander Graham Bell, and he’s dead.
• I had a stroke October 26th, 1993 from an undiagnosed heart-defect since repaired. I pretty much recovered. Just tiny detriments; I can pass for never having had a stroke.
• RE: “Train video......” —I’m a railfan, and have been 72 years. I have a large collection of train videos.
• The “Mighty Mezz” is the Canandaigua Daily-Messenger newspaper, from where I retired over 12 years ago. Best job I ever had — I was employed there almost 10 years — over 11 if you count my time as a post-stroke unpaid intern. (“Canandaigua” is a small city nearby where I live in Western NY. The city is also within a rural town called “Canandaigua.” The name is Indian, and means “Chosen Spot.” —It’s about 14 miles away.)
• RE: “Windoze....” —Apple Macintosh users considered Microsoft Windows inferior. I don’t know that it is any more. I use an Apple MacBook Pro. The Messenger computerized with MACs.
“I may hafta have you repeat, or I may hafta repeat myself. I may have difficulty getting words out. It’s called “aphasia,” a stroke-effect. It can be so bad a stroke-victim can’t speak. With me it’s slight.
I’m not angry. It’s just aphasia.”
“Oh that’s okay, Mr. Hughes.” If I tell contacts in advance I get understanding instead of anger.
“So what is yer problem?”
“No TV,” I said.
Wheels began turning. Not the first time. I had it happen before. I have a DVR-box, their equipment, on which I record the local and national news. That’s all I ever watch. I watch during supper, which I may not get to until 9 p.m. My tiny TV is on my dinner-table. Mega-dollars are in this computer equipment.
I went to watch the news the other night, and all I got was a blank screen. Plus my DVR-box wasn’t displaying the lighted icons I usually see.
“Uh-oh.... What did I do wrong this time? Can I watch the train video I have in my old ‘analog’ (?) video-recorder?” I could, but the DVR-box video output was blank.
I called the cable-company; their DVR-box came with a remote replete with 89 bazilyun buttons I rarely use.
“I’ll send a signal from my end, and see if that gets it,” the service-rep said. At the Mighty Mezz we called this “a kick-in-the-pants.” The Messenger was partially computerized by then, and our Windoze PC liked to hang delaying publication.
Our computer-lady appeared to administer the “kick-in-the-pants,” which was a “restart” I think, but may have been a full “re-boot.” But my DVR-box wasn’t being re-booted. No idea what “the signal” was, but still a blank screen.
“I guess we gotta re-boot yer DVR-box,” the girl said. “I’d like to fix this before you hang up.” First everything off. My remote wouldn’t kill my DVR-box, only its power-button would. (At least I didn’t hafta pull the plug — some Messenger computers required that.)
Time was passing. Already up to 30 minutes. Lawn awaits, as does my nap.
Re-boot began. Eight or nine lights on my TV hafta all slowly go green. Then a long 10-to-1 countdown begins. “Yer TV will be with you shortly.” —Approaching an hour.
Finally images appeared on my TV: Dr. Phil with his latest child-abuse victim. But it wasn’t the local ABC affiliate.
Stabbing around: “Guide,” “Menu,” etc. Trying to finagle with someone 25 miles away. Dr. Phil parrying teary fat-ladies, and fisticuffs among clients. Or “On-Demand” with a screen which may lead to programs I never view.
First this, then that, then “try this and see what happens.”
Finally “Wait a minute!” = indicating I had enough.
“Lemme try something here,” I said. I had video, so I tried the “Menu” button, then I scrolled down to “DVR,” what I usually do to get my recorded news.
There it was, the previous day’s Lester Holt. Almost two hours total; maybe 40 minutes of dorking around.
“You did good,” I told the service-rep. “A stroke-survivor born in the wrong century.”
“You may get a follow-up survey. You can relate that if you wish.”
Maybe an hour later I got a voicemail from that cable-provider. “Key ‘one’ on yer phone to take the survey.”
Lost! If there’s an iPhone way of doing that from voicemail I don’t know it. “1” on my keypad calls Alexander Graham Bell, and he’s dead.
• I had a stroke October 26th, 1993 from an undiagnosed heart-defect since repaired. I pretty much recovered. Just tiny detriments; I can pass for never having had a stroke.
• RE: “Train video......” —I’m a railfan, and have been 72 years. I have a large collection of train videos.
• The “Mighty Mezz” is the Canandaigua Daily-Messenger newspaper, from where I retired over 12 years ago. Best job I ever had — I was employed there almost 10 years — over 11 if you count my time as a post-stroke unpaid intern. (“Canandaigua” is a small city nearby where I live in Western NY. The city is also within a rural town called “Canandaigua.” The name is Indian, and means “Chosen Spot.” —It’s about 14 miles away.)
• RE: “Windoze....” —Apple Macintosh users considered Microsoft Windows inferior. I don’t know that it is any more. I use an Apple MacBook Pro. The Messenger computerized with MACs.
posted by BobbaLew at 2:55 PM
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