“Why is it.....
....ladies are so much more fun to talk to?”
I said that to the girl returning my dog from doggy daycare.
“I’m down at the gas-station, and RUMPITA-RUMPITA-RUMPITA-RUMPITA! An orange Plymouth RoadRunner drives in.” Plymouths are no longer made.
I had just got out of my car, so I walked toward the RoadRunner.
“I heard ya comin’ in. I thought it might be a Hemi.”
“440” it said on the hood-bulge. Not a Hemi. “But a 440 is impressive,” I said.
“575 horsepower,” the owner bragged.
With that I walked away.
Ladies are more interesting. No posturing or gamesmanship.
I say something, and the dude wants to score points. Ladies don’t seem to do that, or so I’m finding out now that my wife died. Ladies smile and laugh at my jokes.
I’m a graduate of the Hilda Q. Walton School of Sexual Relations. Hilda was my neighbor during childhood, and also my Sunday-School Superintendent.
To pass muster with Hilda girls had to be prim and proper, knees covered. In other words boring.
All men, including me, were “despicable scum” (her words). My parents, Bible-beating zealots just like Hilda, heartily agreed. Imagine what that does to a callow six-year-old.
My whole time growing up I got this. Happily married 44+ years I could avoid it. My wife actually liked me.
How Hilda bore two sons with a smoker of Lucky-Strike cigarettes I’ll never know.
And some of the girls I jaw with are “lookers.” I never expected such. That’s Hilda’s legacy.
So 60 years late I’m finding ladies are interesting. And they seem to find me interesting.
Faire Hilda is spinning in her grave. My parents probably are too.
• A “Hemi” has hemispherical combustion-chambers, which make it breathe extremely well. “Hemis” could be very powerful. There have been three Hemis. First was 1951 through ’58; second was hemispherical heads on the large Chrysler V8 during the ‘60s. At 426 cubic inches they were extremely powerful; eventually outlawed by NASCAR. The third Hemi is recent, and I don’t know if it’s actually hemispherical combustion-chambers. I may just be Chrysler cashing in on the Hemi reputation.
• The “Q” stands for “Quincy.”
I said that to the girl returning my dog from doggy daycare.
“I’m down at the gas-station, and RUMPITA-RUMPITA-RUMPITA-RUMPITA! An orange Plymouth RoadRunner drives in.” Plymouths are no longer made.
I had just got out of my car, so I walked toward the RoadRunner.
“I heard ya comin’ in. I thought it might be a Hemi.”
“440” it said on the hood-bulge. Not a Hemi. “But a 440 is impressive,” I said.
“575 horsepower,” the owner bragged.
With that I walked away.
Ladies are more interesting. No posturing or gamesmanship.
I say something, and the dude wants to score points. Ladies don’t seem to do that, or so I’m finding out now that my wife died. Ladies smile and laugh at my jokes.
I’m a graduate of the Hilda Q. Walton School of Sexual Relations. Hilda was my neighbor during childhood, and also my Sunday-School Superintendent.
To pass muster with Hilda girls had to be prim and proper, knees covered. In other words boring.
All men, including me, were “despicable scum” (her words). My parents, Bible-beating zealots just like Hilda, heartily agreed. Imagine what that does to a callow six-year-old.
My whole time growing up I got this. Happily married 44+ years I could avoid it. My wife actually liked me.
How Hilda bore two sons with a smoker of Lucky-Strike cigarettes I’ll never know.
And some of the girls I jaw with are “lookers.” I never expected such. That’s Hilda’s legacy.
So 60 years late I’m finding ladies are interesting. And they seem to find me interesting.
Faire Hilda is spinning in her grave. My parents probably are too.
• A “Hemi” has hemispherical combustion-chambers, which make it breathe extremely well. “Hemis” could be very powerful. There have been three Hemis. First was 1951 through ’58; second was hemispherical heads on the large Chrysler V8 during the ‘60s. At 426 cubic inches they were extremely powerful; eventually outlawed by NASCAR. The third Hemi is recent, and I don’t know if it’s actually hemispherical combustion-chambers. I may just be Chrysler cashing in on the Hemi reputation.
• The “Q” stands for “Quincy.”
posted by BobbaLew at 7:44 PM
1 Comments:
Stop the crap Hughes. We've known you're interesting. You're a looker too. But, really, they laugh at your jokes? OK, wise guy, ask any woman what the Q stands for? Nary a one would guess Quincy or Qulip. And if they know that's a Stooge reference, they're cheating.
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