“No way José”

“Ten buckaroos to ship $8.35 in merchandise? No way José!
I gotta blow 15-20 minutes on this ‘pyooter to avoid $10 shipping-and-handling?” I yelled.
You lose, Staples!
Yrs Trly is looking for Paper-Mate “Flair” pens. My Flair pens are about dry. I Froogle Flair pens. My first hit is Staples. There are alternative hits, but they’re buried.
I click Staples, and as always they’re secretive about shipping-and-handling. I figger maybe $4.95, which is ridiculous enough. Four pens $8.35 or so; $9.95 shipping-and-handling. For Heaven sake! They shippin’ in a chauffeured Rolls? “Yer pens, sir.”
I hit an alternative at $7.32 for the pens. $4.95 shipping-and-handling.
PASS!
Wally* wants about $8.50 for the pens, $3.95 shipping-and-handling.
Still PASS!
Amazon wants $8.50, then maybe $2.59 shipping-and-handling; free with “Prime.” No Prime for this kid! Triggered it once, then had to quickly shut it down before it automatically charged a maintenance-fee.
EBay wants about $8.50 for the pens, no shipping-and-handling.
Now we’re talkin’. Into-kart, checkout, submit.
$8.50 is also ridiculous for four pens I might be able to get in the supermarket. But that’s part of a supermarket trip, and what I want may not be available. It usually isn’t.
There used to be an OfficeMax nearby, maybe eight miles away, but they closed. I had to be going that way, plus just like the supermarket they usually didn’t have what I wanted.
So online it shall be, after which my browser suggests I order more pens. What is it with these goofballs? I order something online, and Facebook, whatever, wants me to order more.
Yesterday was my birthday. I fire up Google and it displays flickering candles. Used to be Santa knew everything; now it’s Google.
Ten smackaroos to ship $8.35 worth of merchandise? And my EBay order came in an Amazon envelope. Shipping was supposedly by UPS, but it was in my mailbox.