Monday, August 28, 2017

“Unsubscribe”

For the past couple days I have been “unsubscribing,” hoping to staunch the my torrent of junk e-mails.
This laptop’s e-mail program junks 20-30 e-mails per day; SLAM! Into junk! Then into TRASH; then into the ground!
Two steps (if already junked): first trashed, then deleted entirely. Takes maybe 30 seconds.
But my iPhone doesn’t junk anything. I suppose I could get an e-mail app that did.
What I do instead is “edit.” Click to trash, then in the trash! Takes maybe a minute.
Then maybe once per week, delete trash into cyberspace. 10 seconds.
“Unsubscribing” is irksome. At least a minute per unsubscribe.
Often it’s the same unsubscribe for each junk e-mail. Enter my e-mail address, often automatically, then unsubscribe.
Others are more difficult. I hafta enter my e-mail address manually, or figger out “unsubscribe;” usually deftly hidden in tiny type. Sometimes it’s in the graphic.
Then there are those that demand I explain why I have the awful temerity and unmitigated gall and horrific audacity to not want their daily blessing. “Fill-in required.”
Usually I go legit, saying “I didn’t subscribe.”
Occasionally I become a smarty-pants saying “not interested.”
That is, not interested in yer bikini-clad, balloon-breasted floozies on glittering unmuffled Harleys. Usually they’re brandishing AK-47s.
Fodder for Tweet-Prez.
I and my wife (deceased) upgraded our windows maybe 7-8 years ago. Warranted for life. Why should I wanna upgrade my windows again?
Yesterday I opened a junker and was hit with a scantily-clad screen-height tart with eyes made up like coals.
Can she discuss philosophy? Would she even wanna? (“Kant.”)
20-30 “unsubscribes” is 20-30 minutes. I’d rather do something interesting, but it’s getting ridiculous.

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1 Comments:

Blogger Robert Patrick Hartle said...

Hmm yes.. while my pyooter was in the shop getting a new battery I was beside myself with little to do with my hands and fingers. Needless to say the house got pristine clean, my bedroom reorganized and clean, Laundry done to every stray sock. All the time knowing when I got my laptop back it was going to frustrating cleaning that mess up that I had nothing to do with. It's a good thing spammers, hackers, junk mailers, and buggy programmers with their App update notices are not allowed to come in our homes! ”There's a new version available, you have the old one. Would you like to download it now?" then find out it crashes. Well now I'm back in the digital mix and deleting crap as fast as i can. I have no life! ; )

7:03 PM  

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