“Oh SHADDUP!”

“Sorry Robert, I didn’t get that!”
”Oh SHADDUP!” I said.
I was at Boike Counseling the other day in nearby Canandaigua.
I go there to discuss the death of my wife.
I was at the window reporting, taking my iPhone out of my pocket.
Siri (“sear-eee”) came on, the iPhone thingy that follows your voice commands.
I had inadvertently activated a button.
“Sorry Robert, I didn’t get that,” she said.
“Oh SHADDUP!” I shouted.
The entire waiting-room started laughing.
“What are you all laughing at?” I asked,
“Done the same thing!” they said.
“You should see me with the GPS-lady,” I said.
Exiting a plaza “turn right on Gibson St.”
“What you been smokin’ girl? Gibson is one-way, and that’s the wrong way.”
I’m in Williamsport, PA.
“Right lane for 15-south.”
“NO WAY JOSÉ! Ain’t doin’ it! The Keed is takin’ the expressway!”
Wondrous technology.
Actually Siri is pretty good; although I don’t do much. E.g. “Call Jack mobile” my brother-in-Boston, which she hasn’t goofed yet.
Siri will also search out stuff on the Internet when so commanded.
GPS is pretty good too. It gave me a better route to Altoona (PA) where I chase trains.
GPS is my iPhone; I use GoogleMaps.
How come Google, in its infinite wisdom, has my house 500 feet south of where it actually is?
I tell everyone to disregard GoogleMaps and look for my mailbox.
My iPhone has its own GPS app, but my cellphone store told me GoogleMaps was better, so they installed it on my phone.
No idea. In south FL, visiting my niece in Fort Lauderdale, my brother-in-law, who lives nearby, texted me a restaurant for an eat-out.
It was underlined, so my niece said “hit that.” My AppleMaps gave me the location, and GPSed a route. Lord-a-Mighty! A new iPhone trick, and it was even the same GPS-lady.
I used AppleMaps to GPS me to the restaurant = 20-25 miles, deep into Boca Raton. Into a tree-shaded parking-lot crammed with cars. Slowly circling behemoths waiting for someone to leave — maximum speed perhaps 2 mph.
My wife, having died, misses all this.
She also misses Trump as prez.
I got my first Smartphone just before she died, a Motorola Droid-X®. It wasn’t too bad, but total reboots required removing the battery = taking it apart.
My brother-in-DE had an iPhone, despite Apple being described as Satan personified. That led to my iPhone-4, an i-5, and now an i-6. All were contract renewals — my cellphone service is Verizon.
At first my iPhone was mainly a phone. It became more, but I’ve yet to master its potential.
What really blows me away is how good its camera is. It’s not my Nikon, but often my blog-pictures are my iPhone.
What impresses me most is how it can shoot available-light inside = no flash.
Also its depth-of-field; so much is in focus. It must be shooting through a pinhole, f/64 or even f/128.
I discovered Siri by surprise; didn’t know I had it.
Every once-in-a-while I activate Siri by mistake.
“Sorry Robert, I didn’t understand that!”
”DIE-DIE-DIE!” I say.

• “Robert” and “The Keed” are of course me, Bob Hughes, alias “BobbaLew.”
• My wife died of cancer April 17th, 2012. I miss her immensely. Best friend I ever had, and after my childhood I sure needed one. She actually liked me.
• RE: “chase trains......” —I been a railfan since age-2; now 73.
• “Depth-of-field” (that part of an image in focus) is determined by “aperture-size” = the part of the lens that passes light (the image). The larger the aperture, less will be in focus = “depth-of-field” is decreased. Pretty good depth-of-field is rendered at openings of F/4, f/5.6, F/8, and F/11, aperture sizes typical for the past few years. Years ago you might see F/2, F/1.4 or even F/1.2 — needed to pass enough light for film used at that time; usually available-light-no-flash on Kodak’s Tri-X. At that aperture depth-of-field was minimal. The greatest depth-of-field is rendered by a pinhole, except it doesn’t pass much light.