Sunday, June 18, 2017

Good Old Amazon

“Good Old Amazon,” I said.
“Always hyper-friendly, but if you muck up, Amazon punishes.”
Maybe not. I could probably reverse my mistake, but doing so requires hours of figgerin’ gigantic menus = trial-and-error and into the ozone.
I could ring up my Amazon authority in south FL, but I figger I’ve bothered her enough.
Like every time I have anything to do with Amazon, I hafta call Amazon-lady.
We deduced I unintentionally have two Amazon accounts: one under an ancient e-mail I no longer use, the other under my current e-mail.
I used to do “Subscribe-and-Save” with the ancient e-mail.
“Subscribe-and-Save” is an Amazon thingy where they send regular shipments for less.
They were Arrowhead-Mills puffed cereals. But they kept being out-of-stock, so I switched to Walmart*.
It just so happens I need “Wellness-Simple” dog-food for my dog.
I could “Subscribe-and-Save” that with Amazon, so I set that up. But apparently with a new Amazon account under my most recent e-mail.
Look at my previous account, and no “Subscribe-and-Save” dog-food.
My most recent account has it.
It took moving Heaven-and-earth to surmise I had two Amazon accounts. The helper in India couldn’t see it. Their command of English is little more than “We’re deeply, deeply sorry.”
They’re also near impossible to contact. There’s no “Contact-Us.”
I got an e-mail from Amazon saying they were about to ship my “Subscribe-and-Save” dog-food. They don’t say it, but I can skip the shipment (it ain’t easy).
I also have a “Subscribe-and-Save” at for “Greenies,” the chews that supposedly clean a dog’s teeth. —My dog gets two per day, about 12 hours apart.
I knew I had too much of something. —It was Greenies. My mistake was thinking it was dog-food. I shoulda looked.
I keep a spare dog-food on hand in a closet. But I was out = I needed dog-food.
So I mistakenly skipped my “Subscribe-and-Save” dog-food from Amazon.
For that I am punished. I probably could reverse that, but it’s simpler to hit my local Petco® than figger out Amazon’s contorted site.
Throw 89 bazilyun menu-options at a stroke-survivor, and he overloads.

• I had a stroke October 26th, 1993, from which I pretty much recovered. Just tiny detriments; I can pass for never having had a stroke.



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