Trashbags by Microsoft

There are two trash-days in my tiny rural town.
One is Tuesday, the day Pratt Disposal comes around.
The other is Thursday, when two others collect. I can’t remember their names.
We (I) use Pratt.
Unlike every other place I’ve lived, trash collection here is not a guvamint function.
City trash-trucks don’t all collect at some seedy restaurant for coffee and donuts before their rounds.
Trash-collection in West Bloomfield is private, as I think it is all over my county.
Private companies collect the trash, then take it to a public landfill.
My trash has two components, recyclable and non-recyclable.
The recyclables go in a blue plastic box.
Pratt still sends out two trucks, one for recyclables, and one for non-recyclables.
I don’t think the others do. Their single truck can accommodate both.
Two trucks by Pratt is a vestige of when recyclables used to be separated: glass, newsprint, cans, and coded plastic bottles.
Now the recyclables are all heaped together.
I guess a facility separates.
Not many recycle, but we (I) always did. Protect Mother-Earth, etc.
The glass and cans and cardboard go in paper bags, as did our paper shreddings at first.
But I switched to a plastic trashbag after the paper-bagged shreddings fell out of the blue-box during a windstorm, and blew all over our lawn.
So every Monday night I have to transfer the shreddings from my shredder to a plastic trashbag if there’s enough to trash.
I suppose I should congratulate myself I haven’t missed a trash pickup since my wife died.
Some time ago I noticed I was running out of plastic trashbags, so I purchased some more.
I am finally into those new trashbags.
So I got out a new trashbag, and set about to open it.
Guess what! It’s sealed at both ends.
I checked the box for a Microsoft label. Perhaps a suggestion I call Tech-Support in India, where I get some floozie whose command of English is little more than “I’m deeply, deeply sorry.”
Engage guile-and-cunning.
Extract scissors from kitchen-drawer, the ones for cutting open food-wrappers — the ones my wife used to claim were sanctified.
It’s only plastic film. I can cut the bag open myself.
So why do I immediately think of Microsoft?
A trashbag sealed at both ends seems like something they might do.
Some reporter timidly asks Bill Gates why his trashbags are like this.
From On-High he sonorously declares “We’re working on it.”

• My beloved wife of over 44 years died of cancer April 17th, 2012. I miss her dearly.
• RE: “My county........” —I live in Ontario County in the town of West Bloomfield in western New York.
• “Bill Gates” is the head-honcho at Microsoft, and is fabulously wealthy. Microsoft is always poo-pooed as inferior to Apple Computer. I blog this to get my PC users upset. Microsoft seems to fly some computer-function that’s relatively untried, and then fixes the problems. “Windows” at first was a bog-slow copy of Apple’s operating-system, but seems to have improved. It is now comparable to Apple’s OS-X (as fast).