Sunday, May 26, 2013

“This page intentionally left blank”

I know this is serious, and probably required by law to protect Granny and her retirement investments.
But I start laughing every time I encounter a blank page with the above message.
I get it often enough. Most recently was in a thick annual-report for Morgan mutual-funds, which I have through Edward-Jones.
As one who worked in the newspaper-biz, it seems it would be possible to avoid blank pages.
Our newspaper was always an even number of pages; there were no blank pages.
The front outside page was also the back outside page, and page-two was inside the front page, and there was an inside page on the reverse of the back page.
That’s four pages requiring one piece of newsprint.
Inside of those pages might be two pages or four, sometimes six.
Two pages inside was a half-sheet of newsprint; four pages was a full sheet of newsprint, same size as the front and back pages.
We never had any problem filling those pages. Usually there was more than enough, requiring the page-editor to pick-and-choose.
There were never blank pages.
But the annual-report is constructed different than a newspaper. It’s hundreds of pages edge-bound.
That is, none of the pages served as a second page; for example, front and back pages.
So why blank pages in the annual-report?
Seems it would be possible to avoid blank pages, yet here they are, pages intentionally left blank, both sides, at the end of the annual-report.
It seems with planning blank pages could be avoided. Especially with edge-binding.
With edge-binding you don’t have to have a front-page also be a back-page.
With a blank page you gotta have that silly Granny disclaimer: “This page intentionally left blank.”
In which case the publishers look like fools.
I can imagine the noisy tirade we’d get from the tub-thumping Conservatives if the newspaper, the dreaded media, published a blank page.
Cue Limbaugh! —The Oxycontin king.

• My newspaper was the Canandaigua Daily-Messenger, from where I retired over seven years ago. Best job I ever had — I worked there almost 10 years (over 11 if you count my time as a post-stroke unpaid intern [I had a stroke October 26, 1993, from which I recovered fairly well]). (“Canandaigua” [“cannan-DAY-gwuh”] is a small city nearby where I live in Western NY. The city is also within a rural town called “Canandaigua.” The name is Indian, and means “Chosen Spot.” —It’s about 14 miles away.)

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