Cellphone follies

The other day (Tuesday, June 21, 2011) my wife had a string of three medical appointments at Strong Hospital starting at about 8:30 a.m.
Since my wife is automotively challenged, I drive her to them.
They also are about 45-50 minutes away — plus it takes 10 additional minutes to park at Strong; that is, 10 minutes from arrival at Strong to check-in for the appointment.
The first two appointments, one of which was an actual doctor’s appointment, would take about an hour.
The last appointment might take five hours or more, so I figured I’d drive back home via various errands.
And return later after she called.
She called about 2:30, and would be finished in the time it would take for me to drive in.
So I started in.
My cellphone rang as I pulled into the loop in front of Strong’s main entrance.
Since I don’t answer my cellphone while driving, I had it in my rear pants-pocket.
But I figured it was her — no sign of her at the main entrance.
But I can’t easily extract my cellphone when I’m belted in.
After about eight rings, it went to voicemail.
I was also circumnavigating the loop, a challenge with only one hand.
Finally I extracted my cellphone and fired up “missed calls.”
It was my wife of course. I hit the call-back button.
I then triggered the speakerphone button; NOTHING!
This has happened before. I tried again: NOTHING!
“Hello? Hello?” My wife was answering my call. No speakerphone, but I could hear her on the earpiece.
“This thing is not helping me any,” I shouted. “I toggle speakerphone, and nothing happens!”
So now I’m circumnavigating the Strong loop one-handed with a cellphone in my non-steering hand.
Which I don’t like doing, plus it’s also illegal.
“Sorry Officer, I tried to fire up hands-free speakerphone, but it refused.”
Her release was delayed of course. Hospital time.
Kill about 10-15 minutes. I exited the loop, hung up my cellphone, and headed for faraway River Road.
My wife would call from the lobby-exit.
So here I am motoring out River Road, and my cellphone rang.
The idea was I’d not have to answer my phone; the fact she called signaled she was at the lobby-exit.
But I tried to answer anyway, since my cellphone was already out.
Its touch-screen has two incoming phonecall options, a stripe to answer the call, and a second to send it to voicemail.
I tried the answer-stripe; NOTHING!
Ring-ring! It’s not answering.
I tried again; NOTHING!
I suppose this is progress for our technologically advanced society.
Not being able to answer your phone.

• “Strong Hospital” is one of three large hospitals in the Rochester area.
• We live in the small rural town of West Bloomfield in Western NY, about 45-50 minutes southeast of Rochester.
• RE: “When I’m belted in.......” —Seatbelts.
• Cellphone use while driving is illegal in New York state.
• “River Road” is about three miles southwest of Strong Hospital, and parallels the Genesee River. (The “Genesee River” [“jen-uh-SEE”] is a fairly large river that runs south-to-north across Western New York, runs through Rochester, including over falls, and empties into Lake Ontario.)