Assistant Vice-President, Consumer Marketing & Customer Experience

“‘Experience,’” I said. “Don’t they mean ‘Customer-Service?’
No, ‘Customer Experience’ is what it says,” I observed.
Our landline, which we still have since so many of our contacts have it as a reference number, plus my 95-year-old mother-in-law refused to call a cellphone, is Frontier.
We use its voicemail, its so-called “message-center.”
We used to have our own voicemail machine, but when it gave up, we switched to Frontier voicemail.
Nice. One less machine to tend to, shorting Wal*Mart.
Frontier is going to institute a new voicemail, accessible from a computer.
It involves action on our part, and prompted a letter to detail the switchover.
That letter was from a lady who was “Assistant Vice-President, Consumer Marketing & Customer Experience”(!)
“I bet that lady is proud of that title,” I commented.
“And it probably renders a six-figure salary.
What’s wrong with just ‘Assistant Vice-President?’” I asked.
“Not enough words,” my wife said.
“I thought we were trying to reduce words,” I responded. “How’s she gonna Tweet that title?
And why not only one function, or three? Why always two?
I bet Frontier has to keep a sign-guy on staff to carve new desk signs, keep up with job-title changes.
Which change every minute.
Another six-figure salary, or an overpaid outside sign-carving service.
Like ‘Customer-Service’ suddenly becomes ‘Customer Experience.’”

• “Frontier” Telephone Company is a local supplier of landline telephone service in the Rochester area. (“Rochester Telephone” eventually became “Frontier.”)