Watch ‘em like a hawk

“We haven’t yet got our monthly statement for our home-equity loan account,” I said to the front-end person at a local bank.
“Without it I can’t make a payment.”
She fired it up on her ‘pyooter.
“Do you live in Canandaigua?” she asked.
“No, Bloomfield,” I said, slightly befuddled.
“I think that’s the problem,” she said.
“How in the wide, wide world can they change our address to Canandaigua?” I thought to myself. “That account’s almost 20 years old.
Route 65 in Canandaigua doesn’t even make sense.”
“Did you open the account in New York State?” she asked.
“Oh yeah, they’re not locally based,” I thought. “Their billing center in Timbuktu (India?) isn’t gonna know Route 65 isn’t in Canandaigua.”
“Is your telephone number ???-????”
“No,” I said, even more befuddled.
“That sounds like some radio call-in line; like for contests.
How in the wide, wide world can things like this happen?
I didn’t initiate any changes.”
“I’m sure you didn’t, but I set it right,” she said.
“Have you got a web-site where I can keep tabs on this?” I asked.
“Sure, online banking!” she bubbled. “I can set you up. Have you got a few minutes?”
“Well no actually,” I responded. “I’d prefer to initiate it myself.”
“Oh yeah,” I thought to myself. “Banks! Ya gotta watch ‘em like a hawk. They screw up and it’s your fault if you’re small potatoes.”
I had a bank lose my paycheck and start charging me penalties.
I had to do a grandstand in the bank’s office.
“I got a receipt! I ain’t leavin’ until you credit my account!”
I used to work for a bank, and that’s how it was.
A vice-president of Zerox was bouncing checks willy-nilly, and the bank covered ‘em.
Um, that’s an interest-free loan, guys.
But let some small-potatoes guy bounce anything and we were all over ‘im.

• “‘Pyooter” is computer.
• “Canandaigua” (“cannon-DAY-gwuh”) is a small city nearby where we live in Western NY. The city is also within a rural town called “Canandaigua.” The name is Indian, and means “Chosen Spot.” —It’s about 15 miles away.
• We live in the small rural town of West Bloomfield in Western NY, southeast of Rochester. Adjacent is the rural town of East Bloomfield, and the village of Bloomfield is within it. Our mailing address is “Bloomfield.”
• We live on State Route 65, which is in the town of West Bloomfield (among others), and nowhere near Canandaigua.