Indy 500

—Paul Long: “Props to Brent Musburger for the line of the day, talking about Helio Castroneves: ‘From the clutches of the IRS to the top of the IRL.’ Gotta love Brent, he’s a terrible announcer but he never holds anything back.”
—One of Paul’s Facebook friends: “That was a good line, but the contrived drama of the ‘Hollywood script’ was a bit much ... he got acquitted of tax evasion, not pulled off death row!!!”
—Me: “I used to be a motorsports fan.
I used to watch the Indy 500 every year.
Haven’t for years.
But I tried today (Sunday, May 24, 2009).
Turned it on at noon, and switched it off about 15 minutes later.
Yada-yada-yada-yada.
Musburger was a lot of the reason; plus it was WAY too overproduced.”
—Long: “I think it’s a great story that in just a month’s time, he went from facing six years in prison to victory lane at the Brickyard. But it does seem like the TV folks don’t have enough faith in the product and so they have to blow some of these storylines out of proportion. C’mon, it’s one of the oldest and most traditional events in all of American sports. Let it stand on its own merits.
I went to that race three times, from 1989-91. The last time, the front row was Rick Mears, Mario Andretti and A.J. Foyt. Mears won the race and then retired at the end of the season. Never came back, either, although he was spotting for Helio today. There’s nothing like the Brickyard. But, like so many things, it just isn’t quite what it used to be.”
—Me: “Never been to Indy.
I was told it’s mind-blowing.
Incredible speeds and shrieking.
Amazing to me is that Andretti and Foyt and Mears are all still alive.
Part of the reason I lost interest (and that was back in the mid-’70s), is that so many drivers were getting killed; including Mark Donohue.”
(“Paul long” used to be the head sports honcho at the mighty Mezz)

Well people, I tried to watch the Indy 500, but tired of it after 15 minutes or so.
I’m an old racefan, particularly sportscar racing.
During the late ‘60s and early ‘70s I drove all over the northeast to watch sportscar races.
This included Canada.
The tracks I hit were Bridgehampton, Lime Rock, Mosport (“MAH-sport”) near Toronto, St. Jovite (“sahn joe-VEET”) near Montreal, and of course Watkins Glen.
The first race I attended was the U.S. Grand Prix (“preee”) at Watkins Glen in 1964.
By then Formula-One was well into the rear engine revolution. Every racecar there was rear engine, but limited to a tiny 1.5 liters displacement. (Formula-One was 1.5 liters, and the U.S. Grand Prix was Formula-One.)
Indy cars were just beginning the switch to rear engines. In 1963, Jimmy Clark ran a Lotus powered by Ford, but dropped out. —I followed the race coming home from college; asked at just about every gas-station.
In 1965 he won.
Supporting Formula-One racing was a statement; that European automotive engineering was superior to American.
And it was, sort of. Although aimed at road usage unlike here in America.
American automobiles were adequate for American conditions; open roads, and plenty of gasoline.
American auto travel could get by with the old tractor layout, and gas-guzzling engines.
Let the highway become twisty and bumpy, and the old tractor-layout was challenged.
Gasoline availability was tight in Europe, so the Europeans were building engines with much higher specific output — performance equal to American engines but at half the displacement.
It was a religion, of sorts; and I partook of it enthusiastically.
E.g. The Pontiac G-T-O was a joke; nothing compared to a G-T-O Ferrari.
No matter the Pontiac G-T-O was better suited to American conditions — given a bumpy curve it was into the weeds.
And it was using gobs more gasoline.
There also was the fact America wasn’t building a proper sportscar — as laid down by the MG T series.
There was the Corvette, but it was a joke compared to a Jaguar, or a even a Triumph.
The early Corvettes were heavy and used the lousy chassis used on a Chevrolet sedan. Their motor was also a joke; a StoveBolt six modified for performance. —Compared to a proper sportscar, lightweight and nimble, they were turgid.
So that first race at Watkins Glen was an epiphany or sorts; a religious experience.

Photo by the so-called “old guy” with a Pentax Spotmatic camera borrowed from Houghton; October of 1964.

There for sampling were tiny Formula-One racers, open-wheeled, many with tiny V12s.
As I recall, that race was won by Graham Hill in a V12 BRM, but another hallowed name, Jimmy Clark, had held the pole in a Lotus-Climax.
Meanwhile, Indianapolis cars had jumped on the rear engine bandwagon, although later than Formula-One.
Some used heavily modified Ford V8s, but eventually the Offenhauser (“AWF-en-HOUZE-rrrr”) four returned to prominence, just like in front engine days.
The Offenhauser was reliable compared to a Ford V8; the Ford V8 being essentially a modified street engine. (The Offy [“AWF-eee”] was a race design.)
This was especially true after turbocharging came into use. The Offy could stand it.
Years ago my blowhard brother-in-Boston, like me also a car-nut, went to Indianapolis. The racecars shrieking hitting over 200 mph was mind-blowing.
Another talking-point was that American racing was around-and-around a circular track nothing like a road.
Well, sportscar circuits have twists and turns and hills, but are around-and-around too, since they’re closed circuits.
So Indy, despite its being around-and-around, was the premier auto race — a showplace for ultimate automotive technology.
I remember in the early ‘50s, Firestone Tires ran two full pages in Life Magazine, recounting every Indianapolis 500 race they’d ever won; which went all the way back to the beginning — nearly all the races.
They’d won another, and I always pored over those ads.
In 1953 and 1954 Bill Vukovich won, but shortly thereafter he was killed in a racing crash.
I remember he was using a Kurtis Kraft roadster, with exposed grill-teeth that looked like a Corvette. Looked nice!
But by the ‘70s I was losing interest. In the 1973 Indy 500 a slew of drivers got killed, including young Swede Savage, who T-boned the wall at full speed, bursting his car into flames.
Also involved was the great safety crusade of Formula-One drivers about 1970. They made Watkins Glen line their track with Armco barrier two and three high. —It looked ridiculous.
Yet Francois Cevert died in a Formula-One Tyrrell (“tuh-RELL”) when it flipped and rode that barrier in 1973.
To my mind, the safety-crusade was a sham, when drivers poo-pooed the idea of full roll cages like the sprint-cars. Perhaps with a full roll-cage Cevert might have survived.
Years ago I watched the Indy 500; which by then was becoming moribund. NASCAR was getting more viewers racing taxi-cabs with hot-rodding from the ‘50s, and theatrics much like professional wrestling.
The cost of fielding an Indy team had gotten so outta sight, the entrants went off by themselves; and Indianapolis set up its own series that supposedly cost less.
It didn’t attract much at first.
But Indy is the premier auto race; the one all the drivers want to win.
Indy returns to prominence, but they’ve lost me.
Most depressing was the TV coverage, which looked much like Hollywood.

The “mighty Mezz” is the Canandaigua Daily-Messenger newspaper, from where I retired over three years ago. Best job I ever had.

“Formula-One” is the international open-wheel car-racing formula that’s been around for years. It specifies car-weights and engine-displacements, etc. “Formula-One” is the premier European car-racing formula.

“1.5 liters displacement” is only 91.535616 cubic inches of engine size; the volume swept by the pistons. —Most engines are much larger; 200-400 cubic inches or more; although foreign engines are usually smaller.

The so-called “tractor layout” is engine and transmission up front, with a central driveshaft back to a solid back axle, much like a farm tractor. Although unlike a tractor, that rear-axle was suspended on springs. The only suspension for a farm-tractor was the sprung seat.

RE: “Much higher specific output......” —The “specific output” of an engine was the amount of horsepower per cubic inch.

The Chevrolet overhead-valve inline “Stovebolt-six” was introduced in the 1929 model-year at 194+ cubic inches. It continued production for years, upgraded to four main bearings (from three) for the 1937 model-year. In 1950 the Stovebolt was upsized to 235.5 cubic inches (from 216), and later upgrades included full-pressure lubrication and hydraulic (as opposed to mechanical) valve-tappets. The Corvette had double carburetors. —The Stovebolt was produced clear through the 1963 model-year, but replaced with a new seven-main bearing (as opposed to less — like four) inline-six engine in the 1964 model-year. The Stovebolt was also known as “the cast-iron wonder;” called the “Stovebolt” because various bolts could be replaced by stuff from the corner hardware.

RE: “‘Old guy’ with the Pentax Spotmatic camera borrowed from Houghton.......” —My macho, blowhard brother-from-Boston, who is 13 years younger than me, calls me “the old guy” as a put-down (I also am the oldest). A “Spotmatic” is the old Pentax Spotmatic single-lens reflex 35mm film camera. I eventually got one and used it about 40 years, since replaced by a Nikon D100 digital camera. (“Houghton” is Houghton College in western New York, from where I graduated with a BA in 1966. I’ve never regretted it, although I graduated as a Ne’er-do-Well, without their blessing. Houghton is an evangelical liberal-arts college. They used a Spotmatic at the college yearbook.)

“BRM” equals British Racing Motors; a Formula-One car-racing team.

“Offy” equals Offenhauser.

“Turbocharging” is to supercharge the intake air-flow to an engine with a compressor driven by engine exhaust through a turbine — rather than the compressor (“supercharger”) being driven directly by the engine.

“My blowhard brother-from-Boston” is my all-knowing brother Jack Hughes, the macho ad-hominem king, who noisily badmouths everything I do or say.