Deposit-Return

I’m at the mighty Canandaigua Weggers two days ago (Sunday, August 24, 2008), fixin’ to buy groceries.
I have two cans to return for deposit; one actually a beer-can found up the street.
I stride into the can-return room; lined with eight combination can/plastic return machines, and three glass bottle machines.
It’s not crowded — no NASCAR-dads exchanging 89 bazilyun Bud cans in shopping-carts big as a Buick. (“Get cracking, LJ. Daddy needs help. Hup-hup!”)
I insert my cans: ka-chink; ka-chink!
“Press button for receipt.”
Alarms sound, lights flash; it appears Rapture has occurred.
“Printer malfunction!” Call staff!”
Are you kidding?
I walked away.
I ain’t gonna alert the staff for a 10¢ can-refund.
“No tickey,” I told the guy behind me with 89 bazilyun Bud cans and his son.

“Mighty Weggers” is Wegmans, a large supermarket-chain based in Rochester we often buy groceries at. They have a store in Canandaigua.

“Get cracking,” and “Hup-hup” are things my siblings say to people they decide are lazy no-good no-account layabouts, like me.

“Rapture” is the Second Coming of Christ, wherein all Christians are taken up into Heaven, and the world is left to sinners. (“In case of Rapture, this van will be driverless.”)