Alarums-alarums

(Do I ever leave the Canandaigua YMCA without something to write up?)

—1) I’m quietly doing a Cybex machine; a strength-trainer.
All-of-a-sudden: “Bamp-bamp-bamp-bamp-bamp!”
It’s Armageddon; Canandaigua is under nuclear attack. It’s the old waazoo — do we take this alarm seriously? Do we all pack up and amble onto the sidewalk; just like an elementary school fire-drill?
No smoke; no flames.
Just as suddenly someone hollers “breakout.” Amazon-Lady and Nadine (who may be Amazon-Lady’s daughter) have opened a side-door and are tossing cardboard cartons into the exercise-gym.
They close the door and the alarm stops. By then even staff-members are holding their ears.
Nadine, the head of the exercise-gym, called Amazon-Lady “ma” once, and looks as nasty. But she’s about 20 pounds overweight — a disgrace to her calling.

—2) I’m driving south on I-390, after having used the Thruway to get to the strawberry-patch — no U-pick.
I’m in the right lane, and a black Ford Escape is coming up in the left lane to pass me.
A beige Ford Focus is behind me; and starts changing lanes toward the Escape; no signal.
Here I am motoring blithely along watching this torrid drama unfold in my inside rear-view mirror — this won’t effect me at all.
Suddenly the Focus jukes madly to the right, over-correcting right into the shoulder — it looks like the left-front may dig in and flip him.
He regains his composure without flipping — thank ya Ford and Firestone — and the Escape passes me.
Finally the Focus deigns to pass: look out; Rapture may occur.
As he passes I glance left; but no Dubya-sticker. Did have a Christian-fish though.

Amazon-Lady is a YMCA-employee. We call her that because she is extremely muscle-bound.

“Dubya-sticker” is a Bush-Cheney 2004 bumper-sticker. All insane traffic-moves seem to involve Bush-supporters. They seem to think they have the right.