String it out
Yesterday afternoon (Tuesday, March 25, 2008) about 4 p.m., as I began to take my blood-pressure, the phone rang.
“Hi; this is Bob from Frontier Telephone; yada-yada-yada-yada.”
“I’m here to make you an astounding offer; caller-ID, call-waiting, caller-waiting ID, voicemail, DSL Internet, 100 minutes of long-distance absolutely free, for only $19.95 per month, guaranteed for two years; our premium bundle.”
“What?”
“Yada-yada-yada-yada.”
“You’re talking so fast I can’t understand you.”
“Yada-yada-yada-yada. Offer of a lifetime; guaranteed; that okay with you?”
“I don’t wanna change anything without thinking about it first.”
“Well, that’s okay. Do you wanna step aside for a moment to think about it? I’ll hold.”
“Can’t right now; my wife’s at work” (Post-Office).
“Well, I can’t guarantee the offer until later. This is a once-in-a-lifetime offer.”
“Um, I don’t wanna change anything without thinking about it first. Anyway, you’re offering services I don’t need, plus we do our long-distance over the cellphone. There’s no charge. And our Internet is cable — much faster than DSL.”
“Yada-yada-yada-yada.”
Don’t hang up — string it out. Usually I just cut these people off, but I tried selling encyclopedias door-to-door once, and know the drill is to waste the salesman’s time.
If there’s anything that frustrates a salesman, it’s to lose a sale after investing a huge gout of time.
“I don’t wanna change anything without thinking about it first.”
“Well, I can’t guarantee the offer until later. This is a once-in-a-lifetime offer.”
A broken record.
“I don’t wanna change anything without thinking about it first.”
“Well, I can’t guarantee the offer until later. This is a once-in-a-lifetime offer.”
He seemed to be heavily into the “guarantee” word; an offer full of guarantees, but he couldn’t guarantee my waiting.
Finally, after about five minutes, and five reprises of the “I can’t guarantee the offer,” I hit the kill button.
“Lost the sale, idiot. I hope I wasted enough of your time.”
“Hi; this is Bob from Frontier Telephone; yada-yada-yada-yada.”
“I’m here to make you an astounding offer; caller-ID, call-waiting, caller-waiting ID, voicemail, DSL Internet, 100 minutes of long-distance absolutely free, for only $19.95 per month, guaranteed for two years; our premium bundle.”
“What?”
“Yada-yada-yada-yada.”
“You’re talking so fast I can’t understand you.”
“Yada-yada-yada-yada. Offer of a lifetime; guaranteed; that okay with you?”
“I don’t wanna change anything without thinking about it first.”
“Well, that’s okay. Do you wanna step aside for a moment to think about it? I’ll hold.”
“Can’t right now; my wife’s at work” (Post-Office).
“Well, I can’t guarantee the offer until later. This is a once-in-a-lifetime offer.”
“Um, I don’t wanna change anything without thinking about it first. Anyway, you’re offering services I don’t need, plus we do our long-distance over the cellphone. There’s no charge. And our Internet is cable — much faster than DSL.”
“Yada-yada-yada-yada.”
Don’t hang up — string it out. Usually I just cut these people off, but I tried selling encyclopedias door-to-door once, and know the drill is to waste the salesman’s time.
If there’s anything that frustrates a salesman, it’s to lose a sale after investing a huge gout of time.
“I don’t wanna change anything without thinking about it first.”
“Well, I can’t guarantee the offer until later. This is a once-in-a-lifetime offer.”
A broken record.
“I don’t wanna change anything without thinking about it first.”
“Well, I can’t guarantee the offer until later. This is a once-in-a-lifetime offer.”
He seemed to be heavily into the “guarantee” word; an offer full of guarantees, but he couldn’t guarantee my waiting.
Finally, after about five minutes, and five reprises of the “I can’t guarantee the offer,” I hit the kill button.
“Lost the sale, idiot. I hope I wasted enough of your time.”
posted by BobbaLew at 5:36 AM
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