For Crying Out Loud

(ANOTHER SHIMMERING PEARL OF SHEER INSANITY FROM THE VAUNTED “AIN’T TECHNOLOGY WONDERFUL” FILE.)

I have seven calendars.
I should explain this, since my siblings will all go ballistical about my having seven calendars.
I actually only use one calendar as a calendar. The others are art.
There is my calendar of classic WWII warbirds, four train calendars (I’m a railfan), and two car calendars — one of hot-rods, and one of sportscars.
Perish-the-thought, I like having different pictures to look at every month.
My calendars are the equivalent of framed, decorative art. But better; since they change every month.
The fact they are also a calendar is irrelevant.
So far I have five of my 2008 calendars on hand; and the other night I ordered my sixth.
That leaves one calendar-space blank, since I’m not renewing my Howard Fogg train-calendar.
Howard Fogg is always painting Colorado narrow-gauge; which is okay, but rather boring at 4-5 entries per calendar.
(Reduce train-calenders from four to three.)
A source for my train-calendars, Charles Ditlefsen, has other calendars, including one of the Three Stooges I thought I might get.
So last night (Wednesday, October 3, 2007) I fired up my Internet-Explorer and cranked in the Ditlefsen site.
It brought up the Ditlefsen web-site, which I navigated until I found the Three Stooges calendar.
“Add to cart.”
Boom — it throws up my cart displaying “cat-lover’s calendar.”
WHAT? Maybe I hit the wrong calendar.
I try it again.
Again: “cat-lover’s calendar.”
I fire up my FireFox and crank in the Ditlefsen web-address.
All the tabs are different from IE, so now the Three Stooges is under “Beautiful Women,” along with John Wayne and James Dean.
(“Nyuk-nyuk-nyuk. I knew I was beautiful all along.”
“Oh, a wise-guy, eh?” POINK!)
“Add to cart.”
Again, “cat-lover’s calendar.”
For crying out loud.
Linda cranks the Ditlefsen site into her Internet-Explorer.
We tab the “Beautiful Women,” scroll past James Dean and John Wayne, and add Stooges to the cart.
Again, “cat-lover’s calendar.”
“They gotta fix their site,” Linda says. “Maybe they’re trying to unload cat-lover’s calendars.”
I guess I gotta face-to-face; i.e. call them up.
(Ain’t technology wonderful?”)

“Narrow-gauge” is three feet between the rails. Standard-gauge is four feet 8&1/2 inches; what most railroads are. Many railroads in the Colorado mountains were built to three-foot gauge, since it allowed tighter curves. The only narrow-gauge rail-lines left are tourist railroads. Colorado has at least three. Howard Fogg was a railroad artist — but he painted a lot of Colorado narrow-gauge.

“Linda” is my wife of nearly 40 years. She has her own ‘pyooter.