vipers’-den
Yesterday (Wednesday, May 23, 2007) began our dreaded foray into the vipers’-den known as MarketPlace Chrysler-Suzuki.
We’re thinking of trading the CR-V for a Suzuki SX4. (You have to have FlashPlayer to get all the groovy bells-and-whistles.)
MarketPlace Chrysler-Suzuki is one of the 89-bazilyun car dealers along West Henrietta Road (U.S. Route 15) south of Rochester; otherwise infamously known as “auto-row.”
Auto-row is the product of drunken pro-development REPUBLICAN Jim Breese (“Breezy”), also the Henrietta Town-Supervisor.
Breese has been Henrietta Town-Supervisor for eons. I say “drunken” because he’d stagger whiskey-sodden into the Henrietta-office of the bank I worked at, and bellow at all-and-sundry. This is late ‘60s.
No one dared challenge this blowhard, or all the insane overdevelopment he encouraged in his previously rural domain.
Auto-row is what the local anti-development crowd parades whenever local development is proposed. “We sure don’t want our little town looking like West Henrietta Road.” It’s all blaring roadside signs that probably needed a zoning-variance — that Breese probably happily provided for a kickback.
Auto-row actually begins at the southern Rochester city-line, a large Lincoln-Mercury dealer in West Brighton.
But it doesn’t really become serious until south of Brighton-Henrietta Townline Road, and nearby Jefferson Road.
South of Jefferson it’s one car-dealer after another; at least 10.
I don’t know what to compare this to, other than Admiral Wilson Blvd. outside Camden, N.J.
South of the old Lehigh Valley Railroad Rochester-branch, which crossed West Henrietta Road at grade (it’s still there, although operated by Livonia, Avon & Lakeville Railroad, a shortline, and stubs at a lumber-yard), lie the abandoned remains of the vaunted Patrick Pontiac-GMC-Jeep where I bought the Bronco-II.
Patrick Pontiac-GMC-Jeep has since moved farther out West Henrietta Road, and built where an old John Deere farm-supply was, which became a heavy-equipment supply. Patrick has become a glitzy super-dealer, with a skylighted lobby.
Across the street is a Lexus-dealer, that previously tanked, but “auto-row” has since moved out where it is, and Lexus has resurged.
South of the railroad begins a string of car-dealers associated with Dick Dorschel or some guy named Holtz — it’s so confusing I never know which.
Dorschel has a Buick franchise, but also sells Mercedes and BMWs in separate dealerships.
Or maybe BMW is Holtz. Holtz had a Honda-dealership, and is where I heard about the “vicious-coupling” on the AWD Civic-wagon, when I was shopping around for same back in 1990 (our Faithful Hunda was an 1989 AWD Civic-wagon).
The correct pronunciation is “viscous-coupling.” When I heard “vicious-coupling” I walked out laughing. If them guys couldn’t get it right, they lost the sale.
MarketPlace Chrysler-Suzuki stands out like a sore thumb; a standalone loner wedged between Dorschel and Holtz.
It got its name from nearby “MarketPlace Mall;” a gigantical shopping-mall built where the old Ray Hylan FBO private airport had been.
Lots of adjacent locations have been named “MarketPlace;” there’s even a MarketPlace Drive.
We walked warily into MarketPlace Chrysler-Suzuki, and were accosted by no one. In fact, we had to poke around to find a human-being.
MarketPlace Chrysler-Suzuki looked a lot like something out of Los Angeles, or south Floridy — well-scrubbed parking-lots filled with glittering inventory, and a building that looked like an imitation of an Egyptian tomb.
And the shrubbery looked plastic — at least ya don’t have to trim that.
All I could think of was Joni Mitchell’s old paean to lost environment: “Pave paradise; put up a parking-lot — take all the trees, put ‘em in a tree-museum; charge people a dollar-and-a-half just to see ‘em.”
The lobby at MarketPlace Chrysler-Suzuki was divided into two halves: Suzuki on one side, Chrysler on the other.
Both sides were empty, and all the vipers were in a tiny cluttered room off the side of Chrysler-side.
A smiling viper appeared, and gladhanded us. I flashed the business-card of the salesman the cooking-aide for the 93-year-old nosy neighbor bought her SX4 off of. Supposedly a referral gets her a “hunderd” smackaroos.
I had looked at her car, and asked about it.
The salesman was out-to-lunch, so that viper got us an SX4 to road-test.
Seemed okay, but since Linda is the primary driver, it has to not be “a submarine;” i.e. sit too low, with gun-slit windows.
We never did know who viper number-two was, so when we returned, confusion reigned, with various vipers clawing furiously to be the one who fleeced us.
After a muffled shakeout in the cluttered anteroom, viper number-three took over (I guess he was the next on-deck); and seemed flustered that he couldn’t make a sale IMMEDIATELY.
Viper number-one had returned by then, so number-three was a bit distraught he had to hand off to number-one.
My impression is that the SX4 is very small, although it comfortably seats four.
But the space behind the rear-doors is tiny — room for only one dog, not two; even with the rear-seats folded. Even then it would be rather crowded.
The rear-seats also fold up like the CR-V, and partially block entrance to a dog. The remaining floor is flat, but with the Faithful Hunda everything folded flat, including the seats.
Linda is also upset an SX4 probably wouldn’t do any better with gas-mileage than the Faithful Hunda; probably worse. The Faithful Hunda averaged around 29, but had only a 1.6-liter motor. I think the SX4 is two-liter, and probably heavier.
Well, that’s not that much an issue to me — it looks like 28-29 mpg.
But the back-end is rather small — enough to make me look around some more. It ain’t the Faithful Hunda.
We left MarketPlace Chrysler-Suzuki with two handouts — they didn’t have literature specific to the SX4.
What they gave us was a) literature describing the entire Suzuki line — which of course includes cars we don’t want, and b) what appears to be an inside brochure to encourage sales-people; like how to be a complete idiot to make a sale. It listed all the Suzuki complete sales idiots across the country — Seattle to Tuscaloosa.
We’re thinking of trading the CR-V for a Suzuki SX4. (You have to have FlashPlayer to get all the groovy bells-and-whistles.)
MarketPlace Chrysler-Suzuki is one of the 89-bazilyun car dealers along West Henrietta Road (U.S. Route 15) south of Rochester; otherwise infamously known as “auto-row.”
Auto-row is the product of drunken pro-development REPUBLICAN Jim Breese (“Breezy”), also the Henrietta Town-Supervisor.
Breese has been Henrietta Town-Supervisor for eons. I say “drunken” because he’d stagger whiskey-sodden into the Henrietta-office of the bank I worked at, and bellow at all-and-sundry. This is late ‘60s.
No one dared challenge this blowhard, or all the insane overdevelopment he encouraged in his previously rural domain.
Auto-row is what the local anti-development crowd parades whenever local development is proposed. “We sure don’t want our little town looking like West Henrietta Road.” It’s all blaring roadside signs that probably needed a zoning-variance — that Breese probably happily provided for a kickback.
Auto-row actually begins at the southern Rochester city-line, a large Lincoln-Mercury dealer in West Brighton.
But it doesn’t really become serious until south of Brighton-Henrietta Townline Road, and nearby Jefferson Road.
South of Jefferson it’s one car-dealer after another; at least 10.
I don’t know what to compare this to, other than Admiral Wilson Blvd. outside Camden, N.J.
South of the old Lehigh Valley Railroad Rochester-branch, which crossed West Henrietta Road at grade (it’s still there, although operated by Livonia, Avon & Lakeville Railroad, a shortline, and stubs at a lumber-yard), lie the abandoned remains of the vaunted Patrick Pontiac-GMC-Jeep where I bought the Bronco-II.
Patrick Pontiac-GMC-Jeep has since moved farther out West Henrietta Road, and built where an old John Deere farm-supply was, which became a heavy-equipment supply. Patrick has become a glitzy super-dealer, with a skylighted lobby.
Across the street is a Lexus-dealer, that previously tanked, but “auto-row” has since moved out where it is, and Lexus has resurged.
South of the railroad begins a string of car-dealers associated with Dick Dorschel or some guy named Holtz — it’s so confusing I never know which.
Dorschel has a Buick franchise, but also sells Mercedes and BMWs in separate dealerships.
Or maybe BMW is Holtz. Holtz had a Honda-dealership, and is where I heard about the “vicious-coupling” on the AWD Civic-wagon, when I was shopping around for same back in 1990 (our Faithful Hunda was an 1989 AWD Civic-wagon).
The correct pronunciation is “viscous-coupling.” When I heard “vicious-coupling” I walked out laughing. If them guys couldn’t get it right, they lost the sale.
MarketPlace Chrysler-Suzuki stands out like a sore thumb; a standalone loner wedged between Dorschel and Holtz.
It got its name from nearby “MarketPlace Mall;” a gigantical shopping-mall built where the old Ray Hylan FBO private airport had been.
Lots of adjacent locations have been named “MarketPlace;” there’s even a MarketPlace Drive.
We walked warily into MarketPlace Chrysler-Suzuki, and were accosted by no one. In fact, we had to poke around to find a human-being.
MarketPlace Chrysler-Suzuki looked a lot like something out of Los Angeles, or south Floridy — well-scrubbed parking-lots filled with glittering inventory, and a building that looked like an imitation of an Egyptian tomb.
And the shrubbery looked plastic — at least ya don’t have to trim that.
All I could think of was Joni Mitchell’s old paean to lost environment: “Pave paradise; put up a parking-lot — take all the trees, put ‘em in a tree-museum; charge people a dollar-and-a-half just to see ‘em.”
The lobby at MarketPlace Chrysler-Suzuki was divided into two halves: Suzuki on one side, Chrysler on the other.
Both sides were empty, and all the vipers were in a tiny cluttered room off the side of Chrysler-side.
A smiling viper appeared, and gladhanded us. I flashed the business-card of the salesman the cooking-aide for the 93-year-old nosy neighbor bought her SX4 off of. Supposedly a referral gets her a “hunderd” smackaroos.
I had looked at her car, and asked about it.
The salesman was out-to-lunch, so that viper got us an SX4 to road-test.
Seemed okay, but since Linda is the primary driver, it has to not be “a submarine;” i.e. sit too low, with gun-slit windows.
We never did know who viper number-two was, so when we returned, confusion reigned, with various vipers clawing furiously to be the one who fleeced us.
After a muffled shakeout in the cluttered anteroom, viper number-three took over (I guess he was the next on-deck); and seemed flustered that he couldn’t make a sale IMMEDIATELY.
Viper number-one had returned by then, so number-three was a bit distraught he had to hand off to number-one.
My impression is that the SX4 is very small, although it comfortably seats four.
But the space behind the rear-doors is tiny — room for only one dog, not two; even with the rear-seats folded. Even then it would be rather crowded.
The rear-seats also fold up like the CR-V, and partially block entrance to a dog. The remaining floor is flat, but with the Faithful Hunda everything folded flat, including the seats.
Linda is also upset an SX4 probably wouldn’t do any better with gas-mileage than the Faithful Hunda; probably worse. The Faithful Hunda averaged around 29, but had only a 1.6-liter motor. I think the SX4 is two-liter, and probably heavier.
Well, that’s not that much an issue to me — it looks like 28-29 mpg.
But the back-end is rather small — enough to make me look around some more. It ain’t the Faithful Hunda.
We left MarketPlace Chrysler-Suzuki with two handouts — they didn’t have literature specific to the SX4.
What they gave us was a) literature describing the entire Suzuki line — which of course includes cars we don’t want, and b) what appears to be an inside brochure to encourage sales-people; like how to be a complete idiot to make a sale. It listed all the Suzuki complete sales idiots across the country — Seattle to Tuscaloosa.
posted by BobbaLew at 12:17 PM
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