settlements

A monstrous 6-page legal-notice appeared in the mail about two weeks ago; something about settlements against suppliers of ‘pyooter DRAM. The suppliers, global mega-corporations, had allegedly violated anti-trust law.
Supposedly I am part of a class that purchased DRAM at some time. Plaintiffs include Kevin’s Computer and Photo, PC Doctor, etc. (HMMMMMMMNNNNN....)
Well, far as I know I never purchased DRAM from the defendants; and in fact, the only time I ever purchased RAM-chips at all was for my long-retired beige G3, many years ago, and I bought it through MACwarehouse.
Additional memory was purchased for my G4, but that was done by MacShack; i.e. the ‘pyooter was delivered with additional RAM.
Naturally the defendants claim they are not culpable (REPUBLICAN ALERT!), despite various persons from their staffs being imprisoned.
But of course they’ve agreed to settle out-of-court because they can’t win the suit.
And naturally the notice is full of “wherefores,” “heretofores” and “therefores” — language only a lawyer could love — plus a huge instruction in capital-letters to read the notice in full under penalty of death followed by dismemberment.
I tried, but it was putting me to sleep. Don’t know as reading the notice was worth the $5 I might collect. $165-million divided amongst 89 bazilyun ‘pyooter users.
“Do not ever dare remove these tags from your cushions lest the tag-police throw you in the slammer.”