More pretty-lady ruminatin’

—“Into the fray,” I always whisper as I amble out of the locker-room into the adjacent swimming-pool area at the Canandaigua YMCA.
That’s because many lady-friends may be present, and I hafta engage ‘em without crashing.
I glanced around, but didn’t happen to notice ***** on her lifeguard stand. Suddenly she’s pointing at me to get my attention.
How did I ever become friends with *****? She’s gesticulating wildly.
What is it with this Hughes-guy? He always blogs his lady adventures.
Sorry readers. I’m amazed I do so well with ladies.
Yrs Trly is a graduate of the Hilda Q. Walton School of Gender Relations: “NO PRETTY GIRL WILL TALK TO YOU!”
No Hilda explanation this time; there’s a footnote below for non constant-readers.
I made up my mind beforehand to not make the first move. I wouldn’t walk over to *****’s lifeguard stand.
Here she comes! Smiling and saying hello.
“My cousin in NC told me how to talk to pretty ladies,” I said; “so I’d like to try on you, if I may.
What did you do before you came here?” I asked.
“That’s it!” she cried. “Ask a neutral question to start a conversation. And one that’s not loaded.”
“Last week I attended a Celebration-of-Life, and a pretty girl came over to talk to me,” I said.
Like “What’s that guy doing over there all by himself?”
10 years ago I woulda run away.
But now, thanks to *****, I’m no longer afraid of pretty girls.
“But our conversation was one-sided,” I added. “It was all me-me-me. I never know how to make it two-sided.”
(Enter NC cousin.)
I had hyper-religious parents who always told me I was disgusting. Plus Hilda telling me I was scum.
Things changed after my wife died, partly because of *****. *****’s a “looker,” who apparently just turned 64. She doesn’t look 64 on her lifeguard-stand.
“Will you still need me, will you still feed me; when I'm sixty-four.” I sang her the Beatles tune.
She laughed; I love to see her laugh.
That pretty girl at that Celebration-of-Life told me women love laughing.
My wife always told me the reason we lasted 44&1/2 years was because I made her laugh.
And here I am doing the same thing with *****.

• I did aquatic balance training in the Canandaigua YMCA’s swimming-pool 2-3 years or more. I dropped out for the moment so I could try dry-land balance-training at a hospital Physical-Therapy. I continue to use the pool on-my-own.
• Hilda Q. Walton was my immediate neighbor and Sunday-School Superintendent when I was a child. Like my parents she was hyper-religious. She convinced me all males, including me at age-5, were SCUM; “NO PRETTY GIRL WILL TALK TO YOU!” Her husband was probably fooling around. My parents heartily agreed, since I was already rebellious for not worshiping my father.