Wooziness

“I already chop my 100 mg pills in half to get my Atenolol dosage,” I said to *****, my pretty pharmacist. “What do you think about quarterin’ ‘em?”
What I haven’t said is my Sunday-School Superintendent, also my neighbor when I was a child, is spinning in her grave. So too are my parents, although it’s more my Sunday-School Superintendent.
“No pretty girl is ever gonna talk to you. You like all men are SCUM!”
That was 60 years ago. And now, finally, I find I can talk to pretty *****. And she seems to like it, always smiling at me. Others staff that pharmacy, but it’s always ***** coming to process my order. She always moves first.
This began a few months ago. I got up the nerve to tell her she seemed happier in her new pharmacy. She used to work at a Rite-Aid across the street. I needed a Tetanus-shot: “Uh-oh, here comes angry *****. Gotta be on my best behavior.”
“I’m sorry!” she cried.
“Thinking later, I realized it wasn’t angry ***** I was seeing. It was up-the-wall *****. Here, in yer new digs, I get smiling *****.”
She loved it, smiling broadly. My Sunday-School Superintendent is up to 14,000 rpm, as are my parents. Harness ‘em and south Florida could go green.
“I’m hoping you can tell me about Atenolol side-effects,” I said to her yesterday. “Dizziness, drowsiness,” she said. “How about wooziness?” I asked. “I feel woozy every morning when I get up. Plus my balance is questionable. I do aquatic-therapy balance-training in the Canandaigua YMCA swimming-pool, and it’s better than it was. But I feel like I’m beating my head against the wall.”
A couple weeks ago a nurse from my health-insurance came for an in-home health assessment. She noted that as someone like me gets old (“older,” she insisted), the ability to flush Atenolol out of my body degrades. So the dosage of my prescription may be too high.
“Oh yeah?” I commented. “I’ll run that past my doctor.”
That pharmacy, ***** perhaps, texted me they had a renewal of my Atenolol.
So I asked pretty ***** about it when I went to pick up the prescription. We’re gonna try quartering the pills.
Plus it seems I’ve gained ***** as a friend. My Sunday-School Superintendent is spinning in her grave! (Gasp!)
Used to be I dared not talk to a pretty girl — plus I had a wife that liked me.
Now, 60 years late, wife gone, I’m finding that was bunk.

• My neighbor Sunday-School Superintendent was Hilda Q. Walton — “Q” for Quincy.
• RE: “Try it......” —Quarter pills yes, but blood-pressure continues to be monitored every day as it’s been for years.