WE-SHALL-SEE
“Wait a minute,” I said to Spectrum’s techie-girl. “Did I hear you call me ‘dear?’”
“Yes you did,” the girl said.
“Ya know,” I said; “I’m 74 years old. Born in the wrong century. As we all know the 20th century was a giant stunt by Hollywood and Walter Cronkite. Kennedy wasn’t assassinated, we never went to no Moon, and Elvis works in a Kentucky-Fried in Memphis.
We’re what’s wrong with this country, sloughing off Social Security and pensions negotiated long ago. We hold back fat-cats lining their pockets.”
Spectrum, previously Time Warner, is my cable-TV and Internet provider. I was calling because my cable-TV locked. I have a Spectrum DVR box, and it hung deleting a TV-news program.
My call was interaction number-three. Number-one was rebooting my DVR myself per a YouTube video. It still fired up frozen.
This prompted interaction number-two, where some their-end Spectrum machine did what I call a “kick-in-the-pants.” (This goes back to the Mighty Mezz, where a ‘pyooter might freeze at 3 a.m. Sunday morning, delaying publication of the Sunday paper. Our guru at that time might hafta drag out of bed, come in, and “kick the ‘pyooter in the pants.”)
My DVR was emptied and restarted from-scratch. Yellow-to-green flashing lights, then software installation, then “Your TV will return in a few minutes.” 9, 8, 7 slowly through 3, 2, 1. But it refroze almost immediately.
So interaction #3, tortured discussion with an actual human. Toe-to-toe phonecalls are difficult for this kid, due to slight aphasia, a stroke-effect. I hafta pre-warn contacts. Do that and I get tolerance. Not do it and I get anger.
Spectrum’s techie administered another their-end “kick-in-the-pants,” but this time we walked through it, avoiding possible intervention on my part that might muck things.
Kick-in-pants finished, back to TV, and she wished me well, calling me “dear” and “honey.”
Um, WE-SHALL-SEE!
I was back-in-business after interaction #2, but it froze again almost immediately.
It might freeze yet again. Guess I better not delete anything. Recordings pile up until the hard-drive runs outta space. I think it thereafter self-empties automagically.
That’s another day, I hope. What if it freezes again? I gotta call Spectrum again? Put up with their time-consuming machines?
And of course such problems are blessings to powers-that-be. “Works, don’t it?” —What if I gotta call again?
“Fire up the Mercedes, dear!”
• The “Mighty Mezz” is the Canandaigua Daily-Messenger newspaper, from where I retired 12 years ago. Best job I ever had — I was employed there almost 10 years — over 11 if you count my time as a post-stroke unpaid intern. (I had a stroke October 26th, 1993, from which I recovered fairly well).
“Yes you did,” the girl said.
“Ya know,” I said; “I’m 74 years old. Born in the wrong century. As we all know the 20th century was a giant stunt by Hollywood and Walter Cronkite. Kennedy wasn’t assassinated, we never went to no Moon, and Elvis works in a Kentucky-Fried in Memphis.
We’re what’s wrong with this country, sloughing off Social Security and pensions negotiated long ago. We hold back fat-cats lining their pockets.”
Spectrum, previously Time Warner, is my cable-TV and Internet provider. I was calling because my cable-TV locked. I have a Spectrum DVR box, and it hung deleting a TV-news program.
My call was interaction number-three. Number-one was rebooting my DVR myself per a YouTube video. It still fired up frozen.
This prompted interaction number-two, where some their-end Spectrum machine did what I call a “kick-in-the-pants.” (This goes back to the Mighty Mezz, where a ‘pyooter might freeze at 3 a.m. Sunday morning, delaying publication of the Sunday paper. Our guru at that time might hafta drag out of bed, come in, and “kick the ‘pyooter in the pants.”)
My DVR was emptied and restarted from-scratch. Yellow-to-green flashing lights, then software installation, then “Your TV will return in a few minutes.” 9, 8, 7 slowly through 3, 2, 1. But it refroze almost immediately.
So interaction #3, tortured discussion with an actual human. Toe-to-toe phonecalls are difficult for this kid, due to slight aphasia, a stroke-effect. I hafta pre-warn contacts. Do that and I get tolerance. Not do it and I get anger.
Spectrum’s techie administered another their-end “kick-in-the-pants,” but this time we walked through it, avoiding possible intervention on my part that might muck things.
Kick-in-pants finished, back to TV, and she wished me well, calling me “dear” and “honey.”
Um, WE-SHALL-SEE!
I was back-in-business after interaction #2, but it froze again almost immediately.
It might freeze yet again. Guess I better not delete anything. Recordings pile up until the hard-drive runs outta space. I think it thereafter self-empties automagically.
That’s another day, I hope. What if it freezes again? I gotta call Spectrum again? Put up with their time-consuming machines?
And of course such problems are blessings to powers-that-be. “Works, don’t it?” —What if I gotta call again?
“Fire up the Mercedes, dear!”
• The “Mighty Mezz” is the Canandaigua Daily-Messenger newspaper, from where I retired 12 years ago. Best job I ever had — I was employed there almost 10 years — over 11 if you count my time as a post-stroke unpaid intern. (I had a stroke October 26th, 1993, from which I recovered fairly well).
Labels: TV madness
posted by BobbaLew at 11:25 AM
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